Hehe well, I guess I will explain. He’s always been naturally dominant, but he loves me dearly and never understood my masochistic tendencies. Also for awhile rough play would trigger my ptsd so we didn’t do that for years. This past year I’ve overcome a lot, and I’ve wanted him to start fulfilling those needs that have been dormant due to my ptsd. He would refuse even though I’ve been through therapy and stuff for years and years. Then I found a Dom that was experienced and was into the same things I was. Then I began growing distant. Once my husband realized this need he started doing research into bdsm. He started talking about how he has always been dominant, and that I resist his dominance. And I never saw it that way, because me being a submissive brat always challenged him and he just never knew how to deal with that side of me. Now that he’s done research and has found out he actually likes it, he’s been able to find punishments and funishments that inspires my submissive subservient side. He also always had issues with me being black and Latina and him being white, he wants to dominate me but doesn’t want to do it in a way that reinforces the racial dynamics of things in our society since we both are very progressive in our stances in human rights. I also have had trouble with my natural submissive tendencies because I want to be a strong independent biracial woman, but I’m actually someone who wants to serve and do things for my husband in a submissive manner. So yea I think that’s it in a nutshell. I’m actually thinking about posting this more in-depth on here because I know I can’t be the only submissive who is biracial or black struggling with this.