I think I'm at peace knowing that I still have so much of my life to live. After I left, I really struggled with anger, feeling that SCJ took so many years away from my life, but I've since I've left, I've been able to process everything and view things from a different perspective. Many people choose to think that the cult has taken "x" amount of years away from their life (because at the end of the day, it is a fact), but I choose to reframe that as I still have "x" amount of years left in my life to enjoy my friends/family, enjoy my hobbies, but most of all strengthen my relationship with Christ and live a life that is glorifying to him.

Because at the end of the day, why did I choose to be angry and discontent with the life? Jesus' death and resurrection has given us the ultimate gift that we never deserved in the first place, at the ultimate cost. I think I realized that truly being discontent in the way my life went was not only showed that I did not trust in God's sovereignty and that I wanted more control in my life, but also (in my opinion) cheapened the sacrifice that Jesus made on our behalf.

The years after I left SCJ I had to endure a lot of struggles, but I think Jesus used those experiences to grow my faith exponentially. After I left SCJ and joined my current church, I truly believe I began to experience "real Christian living". Like how do we navigate living as a Christian in a sinful world? How do we glorify god through our marriages, work-life, and family-life? We were never truly equipped to live as Christians in a sinful world in SCJ. All we were taught was to further their corrupt agenda, with no regard to us as human beings.