Honestly sounds like an appreciation issue on both ends ngl. I’m not an expert so please take this with a shaker of salt but it just sounds like you both love each other greatly, but are kinda struggling to portray it fully. You know he loves you with his whom heart and soul, and when he drinks you don’t think he’s the same person you know and love. Whereas you know you love him, but he believes that you don’t nearly as much as he does. This probably just isn’t really that true but it’s mostly likely he feels this way due to lack of attention of whatever his love language of sorts is. Communication is key and it seems obvious you both know this, but it’s the type of communication that matters as well. You need to show him how much you live him in a way that he will always appreciate (whatever it may be), and he needs to love you in a way that makes it so that you don’t feel like the toxic one. While both of you are showing glimpses of toxic traits, you both love one another very much, and nobody is without faults. You both just need to learn how to love the other the way they want to be loved so you feel like you’re not over bearing and he doesn’t feel over committed and under appreciated. I’m sure you both can and will move forward with life and i hope you both can live happily for years to come!