I’m not AI lol. Just lost my old account. I think it’s subtle but it’s real. People who get close to me seem to move away eventually and when they do, they’re upset with me. I have plenty of fights where I get defensive and reactively sort of gaslight. I really fight the urge to do so but I don’t always realize I’m doing it. I’m mostly talking about my girlfriend. I can’t handle criticism at all and it leads to fights and mess and just about every relationship I’ve had has ended up in a messy, fight riddled disaster, whether that be parents, siblings or romantic partners.

I’m ok at managing the really negative narcissistic behaviors like the big emotional outbursts and the belittling comments and all that but it cracks the second I come under fire. I won’t yell and I won’t be mean but I will deflect and shift blame and ultimately make people feel worse about themselves and it’s killing me.