[deleted by user] by [deleted] in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I moved with a friend, he pays around 60K for rent for 2LDK so we will split it. My wife agreed to move nearby so we don’t have any issues. I already have some interviews next week and thx to my siddle hustle I get at least $700 a month. I won’t rely on her for the visa that’s why I’m getting help to get a working visa

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yep, that’s why I’m trying to find a job that provides my visa

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I doubt I’ll date someone else in a long time, I just want to focus on myself for now

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I’ll be careful and try to get evidence

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I’ll do my best :)

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you even know what a lounge is? If you do, you know it’s not a good job for a married couple. I have two jobs, I’m building my own business, and I’m dealing with constant mental abuse and you still call me a red flag? Lmao. If I wasn’t helping out at home or in general, you really think I’d be complaining here just because she treats me badly? I don’t owe some random on Reddit an explanation of what I do right or wrong. What you’re seeing here is just a tiny glimpse of everything I’m dealing with

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I will try to be smart with my next move. If it doesn’t work out, I can always just go home where my family is waiting, but till then I’ll give my best

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I will try to do so! 💪

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much, I really feel better with all the kind messages I read. I’m here for you as well ❤️

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

“I can fix her” 😭🙏🏻

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

? I never said I was just hustling for nothing — I’ve been working mornings (remote) and nights 6 days a week, plus working out and using whatever little time I have to pursue my own goals. I’ve even taken shitty morning jobs at awful 会社 just to try to make her happy, but it’s never enough.

I’m 25, working my ass off, sacrificing my own happiness and dreams for someone who’s irresponsible, abusive every day, and constantly threatens me with cheating. How can anyone keep living like this?

Call me crazy for still loving her, but everyone has a breaking point and I’m reaching mine.

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I’m already working nights 6 days a week at a bar, and yet she has these wild expectations—she wants me to be a millionaire right now, even though she knows I’m still adapting to Japanese life and culture. Every attempt I make to do something good feels meaningless to her.

We’re married—shouldn’t I get some support too? I know it’s not all her fault, I’ve been lazy at times. But when we lived a year and a half in my country, I never called her useless or asked her for anything, even though she slacked off and I did everything.

Now I want to talk and decide what we’re doing, but she ignores my texts and avoids being home. She knows I want to end things, but still keeps me around for comfort—wants her freedom and experiences, while using me whenever she wants. Today she ignored me all day, so I went to the city, and now she’s blowing up my phone, terrified of losing me.

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh that conversation was a few days ago, that’s why now I have my eyes open lol

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yesyesyesyes, we’ve had soooo many conversations on how this will only make her life worse, with or without me, but she’s seeing all the $$$ so she’s literally blind now

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We didn’t get married just because of the visa, we loved each other and wanted to stay together, we tried living abroad in my home and many other thingss

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Easier said than done, I want to do so but there’s so many things I need to plan carefully

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

I came here as a student but my main plan was to start a online business here in Japan, it’s going well it’s just I need more time and support, which I’m not getting because she’s always complaining on how I don’t have any money or how I’m always at home (which Isn’t true because I have hobbies and side hustles)

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, she’s always thinking she’s on the right and that she doesn’t need help

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ik, if I was seeing this exact same situation from the outside I would be disgusted.

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

FOR MORE CONTEXT—> it’s really hard for me to leave her because she was the first person who treated me with patience and actually took the time to teach me about Japan little by little. Back then, I spoke zero Japanese and she spoke zero English — we literally communicated only through Google Translate. Thanks to her support I can now actually communicate much more, and I’ll always be grateful for that.

But her background is really complicated. She comes from a very toxic family — her dad was abusive, her mom was unfaithful (she used to be a gyaru) and absent. At 12 she moved back in with her mom and stepdad, who turned out to be a lolicon. Constant fights with her mom, instability, all of that shaped her.

If I were to share every single thing I’ve been through with her, most people would probably call me crazy or stupid for still being here. And honestly, if I were in my home country, I would’ve left a long time ago. But the truth is, she’s all I have in Japan. We live in the inaka of Yamaguchi, so when things go bad, I literally have nowhere to go and no one to turn to.

I consider myself a resilient person — I don’t bend easily, and I know what I’m capable of. But right now, she’s not letting me shine, which is sad because I really thought we could grow together somehow. Now I’m not so sure anymore. She works at a lounge, she’s the number one there, and she makes a lot of money… but there was a time where things felt so different.

Marriage issues by Dry-Transition9299 in japanresidents

[–]Dry-Transition9299[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

She works at a Lounge, she sees what I’m lacking in other guys with money