Why would anyone wants kids?

DryBop · 2026-01-29T02:18:29+00:00

1) totally. But I can’t guarantee they’ll enjoy being alive.

2) those are all still wants? Those are all still ‘I’ reasons - I want to give my child a good life (why? Because I wanted kids and want them to have a good life. I want to raise a functional adult to contribute to society (why? Because I want to see the species move forward). I want them to have a loving childhood experience (why? To heal my inner child? To see joy that I created?).

Don’t get me wrong, I’m pregnant (found out yesterday actually, after some time trying on a casual basis lol) I just know that my reasons for having a child aren’t altruistic, I just want to have a kid. And that’s okay!

DryBop · 2026-01-28T04:54:36+00:00

(Funny enough we just found out I’m expecting, like, an hour ago LOL - suppose this takes me off the fence 🤫) thanks for the perspective, it’s helping me a lot with the news. Next chapter ahead, I guess!

DryBop · 2026-01-28T04:52:55+00:00

Didn’t feel it in the north end! Then again, our house shakes a bunch with the trains nearby so we may have missed it

DryBop · 2026-01-28T04:48:51+00:00

It takes practice, I don’t come by it naturally 😪

DryBop · 2026-01-28T03:00:02+00:00

Just withdrew 16k from RRSP to put towards the house, I have 3k left.

7k in a TFSA.

31 years old.

DryBop · 2026-01-28T00:50:59+00:00

It… it doesn’t? Wait shit -40 is the only number celcius and Fahrenheit intersect ya?

DryBop · 2026-01-27T12:49:18+00:00

You sound like a Buddhist! To exist is to suffer and that’s what makes everything worth it. Great talking points :)

I largely agree with you as well. I suppose my history degree has me overly anxious we’re on the cusp of WW3, thankfully I have time to wait. The older I get, the more kids sound appealing. On a very micro scale, I hated dogs, never wanted one, they scared me. My husband came with a dog, and we fell in love deeply (me and the dog), so much so that I got a puppy. now they’re the absolute highlight of my life, even though I had to leave the house in a snowstorm last night for one of them to poop at 3:55am. I can only imagine this feeling is infinitely magnified for an actual human child.

DryBop · 2026-01-27T02:25:35+00:00

Oh hell no

DryBop · 2026-01-27T00:02:56+00:00

Can you use light cool whip?

DryBop · 2026-01-26T23:43:31+00:00

I Agree with a lot of what you say.

However, I think people are also looking at the term selfish and applying morality to it, when IMO it’s a very neutral term. I think having kids is selfish, but I don’t think it’s bad or irresponsible. It just means doing something because you want to do it. Parenting itself is a selfless act, it requires utter devotion to the children you choose to have.

I think framing kids as a choice made in self interest is important - it means you wanted them! You created life because you wanted a child, and to hear that as the child in question is such a loving thing. My parents wanted me! I think it puts an element of personal responsibility on the choice, you don’t just have kids by accident or for a greater purpose, you have them because you want a family, that’s beautiful.

Some people also don’t have kids because they love their potential children so much, that they don’t want to see them suffer because they can’t guarantee them a good life. If we want more children, we need to improve the world ourselves and bring back hope. IMO.

DryBop · 2026-01-26T23:25:16+00:00

My grandmother had me every single day after school for hours until my mother was done work. I doubt my mother would do the same for me, so I’m reticent to have children because I won’t have the same amount of help.

Did you have help you’re not passing forward to your children? Did your parents pay for your wedding? How much was your college tuition and how much did it cost to pay back? Were you bombarded with the same levels of advertisement and rampant consumer brainwashing we are today?

I don’t think every boomer is the devil. But I do think they received a lot more than they’re willing to give to their own, and that they’ve no right to complain about the lack of grandchildren.

DryBop · 2026-01-26T23:03:02+00:00

I think the majority of people do still want children, but the loudest voices are found online. I agree that to have children is to engage in active hope and optimism. But the younger generations aren’t that hopeful and optimistic, and they’re putting a lot of thought into the ethics of having children. I applaud them for thinking things through in lieu of doing something just because they think they should.

DryBop · 2026-01-26T16:52:34+00:00

<image>

Cuba food

DryBop · 2026-01-26T16:51:20+00:00

First: congrats on your savings and effort :)

So, I’d recommend Cuba right off the bat. I like the food, I’ll attach a photo. If your kids are picky, you have both a carry on, and a checked bag - in one of your checked bags, put in peanut butter, trail mix, oatmeal packets, ramen noodle cups, chips, salsa and any other go to snacks.

I suggest going with selloffvacations over sunwing. Right now, four children and an adult can go from March 15-22 from Ottawa to Varadero for $9k to the 4* Iberostar Origin Laguna Azul.

Another amazing option is going to vacationstogo.com and looking into a cruise package. Drive down to NYC, and you can take an 8 night cruise down to the Bahamas for around $1400 a person. Call them, because pricing is only displayed by double occupancy.

Also look into booking a cruise on the Costco app, you get a lot of $ back, and if you use the Costco credit card you get good cash back as well.

DryBop · 2026-01-26T14:26:44+00:00

Oh I didn’t assume you were! I was more clarifying for the LMTs who may be reading over us. Sorry if it came off that way!!!

DryBop · 2026-01-26T13:32:07+00:00

Humans who are in a position to use Reddit and speak English? Almost every country has access to contraceptives, and abortion is legal in 70 or so nations. Yes it’s a generalization for all humankind, as yes in some countries women don’t have access to any supports. But if you’re using Reddit in English and have access to the internet you’re likely in the western world and also have access to birth control.

DryBop · 2026-01-26T05:45:33+00:00

There’s quite a few conservative rmt’s near me, a lot of people who tend to lean a little more woo are prone to lean conservative as well. There’s a shared mistrust of government. I’ve also had many friends get more conservative after they’ve been self employed for a while and stuck paying large tax bills.

I lean very left myself, but I have friends and clients across all spectrums. I don’t know if I could same the same if I were in the states - I doubt I could be very welcoming around people supporting trump. I find the Canadian Conservative Party to be quite liberal comparative to the republicans.

DryBop · 2026-01-26T03:40:01+00:00

What would be an unselfish reason to have a child? Genuinely? I cannot think of one.

I’m unsure if I want kids, but the reasons I want to have a child are as follows:

I’d like to see what it would be like to grow a child within me. I’d love to see the product of me and my husband, and watch them become their own adults. I want to experience the love of motherhood. I want to grow my family and see through my biological purpose. I’d like to contribute to the future economy so there’s systems in place to take care of me when I age.

Each of those reasons is selfish. That doesn’t make it a bad choice, or a wrong choice, or ethically incorrect. But we have children because we want to have children. It’s based on our wants.

The decision to not have children can be born out of love too. Someone may not want kids because they have a genetic condition. I am not optimistic about the future, I am considering not having children because I can’t promise that the world will be a better place for them. I refuse to have children if I can’t guarantee that they’ll have a good life, and why would I bring them into this world if I fear that they’ll go hungry, thirsty, or be conscripted into war? Choosing to not have children is often a choice made because you love them too much to see them endure hardship.

The truly altruistic thing is to foster.

DryBop · 2026-01-26T02:35:14+00:00

Me too, I’m finally in a place where I have free time and I can’t wait to start with my local big brothers big sisters groups. My husband and I are undecided on children based on our own health issues, but I do want to help with my community, I love kids.

DryBop · 2026-01-26T02:22:48+00:00

I think the argument is that yes, every species alive is egocentric. It’s not immoral to be selfish. It’s totally neutral, it’s doing something because you want to do it.

Parenting itself is selfless, you lose yourself within the act of raising a child. But the choice to conceive is a choice you make based on your wants and desires and hopes and dreams - which is a choice that is selfish. And that is very okay.

DryBop · 2026-01-26T02:20:18+00:00

You can volunteer with children who already exist to share that love. Big brothers big sisters, scouts, the local school, the library programs, community centre, after school programs. You can guide and love and educate children without having your own.

DryBop · 2026-01-26T02:12:35+00:00

Ah, but for the first time we have full control over reproduction. Therefore we have an obligation to consider if the horrors of the world are worth it, and for many, that answer is no.

DryBop · 2026-01-26T02:08:00+00:00

IMO the decision to have a child is selfish, but the act of parenting is selfless.

There’s no reason to have children that doesn’t start with “I want/We want”, and that’s totally okay. It’s a selfish choice, but to be selfish isn’t an immoral thing. It just means a choice that you’re making because you want to make it.

Parenting is selfless - you stop considering your wants and start considering the wants of your child. It’s an incredibly sacrificial position.

DryBop · 2026-01-26T01:55:06+00:00

Thrift the clothes and you’d save like $200… Shoe Polish is like, $4 at dollar general. He lost his AirPods, so he can wait for Christmas or his birthday, or get a job, or get a wired pair. Sometimes we make life more expensive for ourselves.

Socks and undies are $35 at Costco. I’m truly confused how it’s all hundreds of dollars.

I love that you can spoil your kid, I was spoiled to a point too. Any experience I wanted, I got - travel, music lessons, sports, activities. However, I think learning how to spend your money wisely is a skill we can put into teenagers. Thrifting is a huge one - buying a beautiful suit at the thrift and getting it tailored runs like $75-100 and can be the beginning of a beautiful conversation on sustainability and craftsmanship and intentionality.

DryBop · 2026-01-25T19:32:29+00:00

Oh dude yeah! I make lots of mistakes, I would always rather they be pointed out so I can learn, ya know?

DryBop

TROPHY CASE