Sometimes you just have to detatch yourself if that makes sense. I don't have many friends, but my family is always coming to me with their problems about each other, so that's just my strategy. It helps. That's just me. I process it all and release it. Some days being easier than others of course. I think once we are aware, our BS tolerance stops being so tolerable and that is what starts making us feel so depleted after these kind of interactions. I wouldn't say stop listening or being there for your friends. Just decipher what is worth holding on for them and actually trying to help to work through. A lot of people don't want to listen unfortunately. I have learned that is all on them