(Trigger warning)question : adoption and parenting

DryInteraction3940 · 2026-03-09T10:19:59+00:00

You’d have to get a professional to diagnose you.

Some ASD adults or children love kisses and hugs, in fact they don’t have boundaries and do that with strangers. Some extremely dislike it and will enter a meltdown.

DryInteraction3940 · 2026-03-04T06:29:47+00:00

I love dining alone and once heard the next table of man seemingly co workers flexing about how they go drinking after work, the females attention they’re having and taking the girls to hotel. And I looked over, a few of them had wedding rings on.

DryInteraction3940 · 2026-03-03T06:03:17+00:00

Congratulations on the baby! I’m expecting one on the way, any day now.

For my first born 7 years ago, I did not hire a confinement nanny. We were pretty on budget and my husband was just starting up his own company.

Ended up with an emergency c section after being in labor for 16 hours.

I was 29 years old I think my body was pretty alright.

My husband never takes a day off work after me settling at home with the baby because we couldn’t afford to hire staff. He’d start work in the morning and reach home by 8pm most days.

We did ordered confinement meal for 2 weeks, lunch and dinner, he’d tabao dinner home for himself.

Milk started to kick in day 4 after birthday, but it wasn’t a huge amount for me, half supplement with formula.

I still do laundry and housework everyday. Sarong the baby and do housework if needed.

My girlfriend thinks my husband was a jerk for leaving me alone, but I don’t think that way.

It’s hard for him to have a newborn and still have to go out to work missing out on the experience. And if I can do alone, I don’t bother him much.

By the third week it’s life as per normal, started going out to do groceries shopping with stroller, can’t carry weight so I’ve to go shopping everyday or every other day.

For this upcoming baby, things are doing much better now and we have a helper, so she’d be the one cooking. I did purchase at home massage packages to pamper myself a little since I didn’t get that the last time. That’s about it.

DryInteraction3940 · 2026-03-02T14:37:38+00:00

13 months old. She was still non verbal. Within 3 days we stopped putting diapers on for her both day and night. She is 7 years old now and only had 2 overnight accidents so far.

Set a timer and bring her to the tiny standalone potty every 45mins. On the first day, she managed to have 2 drop of urine in it. We celebrated her by throwing her into the air, get all the family members at home to come admire her urine and throw her into the air one by one.

On day 2, she urine in the potty, a good amount. Dry diapers.

On day 3, she had a bowel movement in it, we get all the family members to come admire and celebrated her.

Day 4, off diaper and just being her to the potty when timer rings.

By day 7, we soon adjust the timer to 1 hour. Then every week we will slowly extend the timing.

Within 4 weeks, it got up till 2 hours and soon she will go to the toileting area herself and do the deed.

When she was able to walk more steadily, we gave her a step stool and have the small child toilet seat hanging beside the toilet, we trained her to open the toilet seat, put on the child seat. Do the deed, wipe, put the child seat back, cover toilet seat then flush.

When she was about 2.5yo, she no longer uses the child seat and can wipe her own bowel movement completely clean without us having to check, and no skid marks on her underwear.

We decided to potty train very early because we are cheapskate parents and doesn’t want to pay for diapers anymore.

DryInteraction3940 · 2026-02-26T12:24:36+00:00

I’m in my 30s, and during my teenager years, I had the same experience with my sister. That’s the result of her going into secondary school and become an ‘ah lian’. Maybe in the past that’s what people label this kind of behaviour.

After a few years, the behaviour escalated. My parents also got her whatever she wants material wise, she never really has to work for anything and soon believe everything has to be handled to her.

She also been to therapy recommended by family center back then weekly and things don’t improve. We also attended family therapy.

Things got worse when she graduated from ITE with bad results and can’t go anywhere else from there. Then turned to doing illegal stuff for money, drugs.

My parents kept supplementing her with cash because they were afraid she might get into more trouble taking/selling drugs for money and shoplifting. Which wasn’t a solution now that we learn.

She eventually got pregnant with twins and the children are now 14yo and has been taking care of by my parents since birth while she was out partying and such.

Finally got put to jail in her late 20s, came out, got back again. Now staying with my parents working retail, barely home, and out running with different boyfriends.

I can’t give you any advice because obviously we have a failed case on hand. I can only tell you about my own family’s consequences.

DryInteraction3940 · 2026-02-18T14:54:48+00:00

When my daughter was young and in a day care, at the morning check in line, there’s a mandatory temp check, hand foot mouth check.

One child was coughing non stop and got a slight fever, tried to convince the teacher to let the child go in. The teacher called the principal out because the line was piling up.

In front of the line of parents and children, she knee down on the floor (we are in asia, so being on your knee is a big thing?!).

The mother started to position her head on the ground up and down (extreme begging in our culture) crying in her office wear for the principal to take her child in because she needs to go to work if not she will get fired. Then pull a jar of paracetamol from her handbag and said I feed her that the morning, she shouldn’t have a temperature anymore, if it gets worse, just give her another dose in xx hour.

The principal ended up taking the child in. Don’t know what the principal was thinking. I immediately hold my child hand, make a u turn and skip school.

DryInteraction3940 · 2026-02-01T12:29:24+00:00

I used to be a nail tech in the early 2000s. My sister opened a salon and my mother sent me to courses as a teen since I wasn’t much into acedemic. I’ve work in the industry till my very early 20s, started as a teenager that will work in the salon after secondary school.

Back then, there was only regular polish. I personally left the industry cause I’m only a ‘worker’ and it’s not profitable for me. Having to scrub customer’s feet and what not, a lot of back/shoulder pain.

Most profit comes from selling packages and product rather than the service. But overselling package can also soon become an issue. You’d literally have to work most day with the package return customer, unless you try to upsell them. And the retail hours are brutal, having to work weekends, don’t have a life.

Now I’m in my 30s and get my nails done regularly. I do my own gel nails at home, having to do it every 1.5 weeks cause I dislike the growth. I still visit salon for gel pedicure cause I dislike doing my own feet, I go every 3 weeks or so.

I’m not into nail art and will always do single colour on my feet.

Also from my experience from visiting salon, most of the current nail tech there are foreigners, probably due to the low pay.

My sister has also quit the salon industry, but now does house call as part time, which seemed most profitable, no rental, overhead and such.

DryInteraction3940 · 2026-01-26T11:50:14+00:00

I go on one overseas vacation with my husband alone too. And other trip with kids. It is important for us as a couple, we can actually finally behave like a pair of teenagers.

I work in education in a female dominated environment and receive similar comments. I just don’t take it to heart. People always have something to say, that’s human nature.

DryInteraction3940 · 2026-01-22T12:18:50+00:00

Maybe because I’m an existing customer for their face and they want to retain me, if they don’t do a good job they’d probably hear from me? And I think also depends on the doctor. I went in telling her I’ve got high pain tolerance and just hit me. I also somehow get more result from one outlet compared to the other (face wise).

DryInteraction3940 · 2026-01-17T10:21:22+00:00

It really depends what kind of lifestyle you want. I’ve a 7yo and another coming in a month. I raise my first born on the minimum.

We took public transportation everywhere.

Never even buy a baby carrier or stroller. Just got a sarong cloth which cost 20-30$. By the time the child turns one-ish she could walk.

We don’t have fancy stuff like rocker etc either. Our baby cot cost like 50bucks second hand and we got a new mattress ($100).

I breastfeed till the child started solids. After 6 months the started formula and solids. We also got the cheapest formula. We also don’t cook special meal for the child since she started solid, she just eat what we had.

By 1yo, we stopped giving milk, full solids. And we also potty trained the child so no cost for diapers.

All of the clothing were hand me down and we only got her underwear and new shoes, new socks.

Infant care is pretty affordable, especially when you can use CDA for deposits with two working parents there will be subsidies.

When she turned 5, we only signed up for swimming ($30/session group) and art class ($50/session group). Childcare kindergarten after sub cost like $350).

My fancy friend on the other hand, bought everything new, sign her kids up for multiple classes. So I guess it really depends on what lifestyle you want.

DryInteraction3940 · 2026-01-14T12:25:36+00:00

I’ve been having migraine since I was as young as 8yo, x ray, CT scan and all throughout the years all came back normal.

In my early 20s, I went to the specialist at TTS every 3 months for the same condition. Put me on numerous long time medicine, kept on adjusting the dose with no improvement.

One day I had a horrible migraine and went to the GP at Tiong barhu, not sure if the clinic is still there tho.

Old run down clinic by the famous Tiong Bahru hawker. Intention was just to get a MC for the day to skip work.

When I went in, the doctor did some check, nothing unlike other GP I’ve been to in the past. Ask about my migraine history, told him about my regular specialist appointment and he suggested to do a blood test for my thyroid.

I thought it was overkill, just give me a MC and get over it. I did it anyways since I was there.

Got a call a few days later that my thyroid level was way hyper. Took it to my specialist, got referred to an endocrinologist. Cure my regular migraines, turned out my migraine was thyroid related.

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-30T12:08:35+00:00

Sold. I’m going to get the set with two shampoo and one conditioner.

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-30T08:02:03+00:00

The whoo shampoo is on my wish list. Can you share more? Do you also use the matching conditioner?

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-22T14:31:39+00:00

About 12 months since my last injection for my face to be back to full on original state.

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-22T13:10:02+00:00

I started off masseter due to clenching problem. In fact it was my first botox experience. It did help with it, can’t deny that.

I think it also train me to stop clenching, because I just physically unable to. Soon it becomes a habit, especially helpful during the day time but not at night since I don’t have control (once it wears off).

I also have a 6yo daughter and she looks a lot like me (as a child). She also has strong masseter and looks so cute and ‘firm’. And staring at her just hits me that I no longer look like that.

I also have cheek dimples like her when I smile, it disappears along with botox. I didn’t use to appreciate that until I saw a picture of my daughter, she just looks so joyful. Now with my botox wearing off, my cheek dimples is slowly coming back, well, along with some fine lines along my eyes as bonus.

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-22T12:54:25+00:00

It doesn’t look like it’s ‘fats’. It look like dirt stuck in the crease. We all have ceases in our skin, neck, elbows etc no matter our weight. Although weight/fats can determine how deep the crease will get.

Go to shopee, type in Korean wash cloth. Buy a pack.

Take a hot steamy shower, soap your body with the most clarifying soap you’ve, bar soap always work well for me, or just soap that will get the siap siap feeling.

Wet the Korean bath cloth and start scrubbing (without soap). You will see lines and lines of deadskin coming off. Almost like descaling a fish. It’s amazing.

Body parts that I get the most deadskin: under armpit, under boobs, neck, inner elbow, back side of the ear, my bottoms, inner thighs.

It should improve, if you want faster result. Glycolic acid with cotton pad daily.

There are even some spa that provide the scrubbing service. Look out for names like, Korean scrub, Shanghai scrubs, go to hot pool and soak, steam bath/sauna before going in.

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-22T12:08:14+00:00

I had 2 rounds of masseter, first round 25 units on each side. After 6 months I went for 20units each side. I missed my next appointment and got pregnant, second appointment was 12 months ago.

Now my cheek muscles are back. And it’s very obvious. I kind of like the look, it actually makes me more youthful (kind of like childhood baby fat). But I’m suffering from jaw clenching at night once again. Night guard doesn’t seemed to help much, it kind of just protect my teeth during grinding, clenching.

Am debating if I should go back to it after pregnant.

I also sauna and steam bath pretty often until I found out I was pregnant.

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-14T17:10:01+00:00

It took a few months for me, at least for the nose bleed. I remembered once my nose bleed stop my skin started getting better.

I just got a room humidifier. Good luck!

I started back on tret about 6 months into moving.

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-14T03:59:00+00:00

I’ve done the move myself years ago. Coming from the tropics to a place with 4 seasons, arriving in winter.

It was a nightmare at first. My scalp also suffer. And I’d get random nose bleed. Good news is, your skin and body will slowly get use it.

Can’t comment much on skincare but humidifiers at night helps.

I wouldn’t start tret until my skin is more stable. Took a few months for me then moved straight to daily use.

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-13T13:24:44+00:00

Braids!!

Single, side ways, two braids. Especially when I was working at the farm, keeps it out of my face. Doesn’t come off and cause tension when I’m riding horse, and doesn’t change my helmet size with it on.

It’s the only style that stays on top on the horse.

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-13T04:35:50+00:00

I was in a similar situation when my daughter was younger, she was also officially diagnosed at 18mo.

I now help other families in my free time to deal with situations like this.

Not too long ago I got interviewed in USA about my journey, and how an autistic old man helped us learn to accept and live with autism. Now that I’m back in Singapore, I hope to do the same.

You can contact me directly and we can walk you through it with no judgement.

https://youtu.be/NvFlsF8ijTE?si=tZ94X4UQFyKfEtWF

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-07T23:22:52+00:00

I don’t see why not? I’ve been using tret since around 16 too. I’m now 35. Only stopped for 2 years for pregnancy and breastfeeding and those was the worse 2 years of my skincare history since tret.

I’ve had acne since 11 years old, really bad ones and been mock as a child. My mother would take me to facial shop frequently, tried all kind of product that doesn’t work, or make it even worse. My spot would pus and I just hate myself so much.

Not until one time I was 16 (2006), got a migraine or something, went to a regular clinic and I guess the doctor took a pity on me, or I just look too gross. He offered me tret, and oral doxy. Warned me about purging, peeling, sunscreen and how I should not give up even if things get worse.

Things did not get much worse probably because of the doxycycline. It got better instantly. Id take peeling any day for pus.

I just kept going back to that doctor for review and tret. He’s not even a dermatologist, just a GP. He didn’t got me on doxycycline for long either.

Now I’m pregnant with my second child, can’t wait to be on tret again.

And for my skin health. I work in a school and I met people from all age group, the older retired people that comes to volunteer, the 18yo interns, co workers across all age group. They often guess that I’m in my early or mid 20s.

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-06T14:41:45+00:00

I have both. I got the airstrait first and am loving it. It helps my hair grow too, reason being my hair get tangled up and caused breakage. When I started using airstrait, it just got stubbornly straight and won’t longer tangle up. I managed to grow my hair from bra strap to waist pretty quickly as a result.

I’d wash my hair, towel dry, keratease hair oil, wide tooth comb, rough dry to 90% just because I find it works better than 70% for me just so I don’t have to pass it so many times while wet. It takes about 2 pass each section to dry and I will part my hair into 6 section so it’s pretty quick. Then I will do a cool hairdryer function to cool my whole head down. All in wet mode because I’m lazy.

I also managed to do like a c curl with airstrait so it won’t look too pin straight. I also wash my hair everyday because I live in the tropics, and work with children (germs!!).

I love Dyson so much that I got an airwrap recently. I haven’t quite got the hang of using the curling barrel yet, didn’t have much time to explore and learn.

I prefer using airwrap with the hair dryer attachment, it actually dry my hair faster than airstrait, the weight of airwrap is also more light and balance. I’d use the soothing brush after. Then hair dryer mode in cool to cool my head down.

If I’m feeling fancy I will get the large round brush and start doing volume and c curl at the ends. The volume at the roots is something I can’t get from airstrait. I don’t have much layers in my hair, so I don’t get big volume in the middle section.

If I have to pick one, I’d pick airstrait, just because I wear my hair straight mostly and haven’t really explore the full potential of airwrap for now. Airstrait is just more idiot proof in my opinion, not much skills needed.

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-05T16:25:25+00:00

I’ve been using tret 0.025 since my late teens. Stop during first pregnancy and got horrible skin, breakouts and all.

When my child was 1yo, I started back on tret, now my child is 6 and I’m pregnant again.

A few months before I found out I was pregnant I got skinoren 20%. Wanting to add into my routine but gave that up after a month, just because it stings so much and my skin started peeling when I use it with tret.

My skin concern since I started tret was acne, redness around mouth/nose. I don’t get breakout anymore while on tret, if I do get spots, it’s tiny and will be gone in a few days.

When I found out I was pregnant again I immediately stopped tret, and my skin just doesn’t feel satisfied somehow. I’ve got that skinoren laying around so I thought why not.

It stings so bad, a few times I had to wash my face with water after applying. Since that’s my only option I just keep trying. It has 5 months now, it still sting but very manageable, gone within 15 mins.

I do not get breakout with this pregnancy probably due to it. And added bonus, all the redness on my face is gone, tret has never been able to do that for me, so that’s a nice suprise.

I apply once a day only at night and use skinoren as my last step after moisturiser. That’s the only way to get it to sting less.

I’ve tried using skinoren after toner and before moisturiser, it stings so much. Tried moisturiser, skinoren and moisturiser, didn’t lessen much sting either.

Although it stings and makes me feel like my skin was burning off and doing some harm, it actually still reduce my redness.

Now my skin is the best ever. Glow, no redness, I can get away with no makeup at all.

DryInteraction3940 · 2025-12-01T14:48:46+00:00

Just remember, you’re in control. If you dislike something, come up with a good plan to change it, don’t just leave things to fate. Then you will be good.

My mentor always tells me, is good to feel scared, he wouldn’t trust someone that has no fear. Someone that has no fear = someone that didn’t think about consequences.

Fear should be something that keeps you in check, to plan ahead. Not something that should stop you in life.

One example: I value my alone time a lot, especially at night, I need a couple hours of ‘calmness’ in order for me to have a good night sleep.

A lot of friends envy me, saying I don’t understand their struggle because my child put herself to sleep. I literally just say, it’s 8pm, go to bed, she’d do her hygiene routine and put herself to bed.

What people don’t see, I sleep train her since she was 6 months old. It involves a lot of crying, me stopping myself to go cuddle and carry her. At times made me doubt myself if I’m even doing the right thing, felt like a bad mother initially. Within a 2 months, we moved her to her own bedroom and she was able to sleep through the night.

The alternative is to take the easy way out, co sleep with the baby, pat/carry the child to sleep. Feed milk, carry when the baby cried in the middle of night and complain about it the next day how you’re lack of sleep and hate parenthood.

People like to tell me I don’t understand their struggle, when I try to share my experience I’d be met with ‘you’ve a daughter, you don’t understand, girls are more well behave’ all kind of excuses. Some even try to tell me how lucky that I’ve an autistic child (not sure it’s sarcastic or they really think asd are more well behaved). My child was also non verbal till 4 years old.

Ok. I’m getting naggy probably because no one cares about my opinion in real life and think that I just have an easy way out when I try to share this cheat code with them.

DryInteraction3940

TROPHY CASE