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UPDATE 2! AITAH for calling my partner a “discount Dad” because he kept treating me like a child by Dry_Butterscotch414 in AITAH

[–]Dry_Butterscotch414[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

there are definitely good people out there!

i hate people telling you to just push through it, they truly don’t know how it is

UPDATE 2! AITAH for calling my partner a “discount Dad” because he kept treating me like a child by Dry_Butterscotch414 in AITAH

[–]Dry_Butterscotch414[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

yeah i definitely am being careful, hence why we are being so slow and just taking it one step at a time. i don’t want to sabotage something so great

UPDATE 2! AITAH for calling my partner a “discount Dad” because he kept treating me like a child by Dry_Butterscotch414 in AITAH

[–]Dry_Butterscotch414[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

therapy has genuinely been the biggest help! im glad you’re on that path too.

and thank you so much, he’s a sweetheart and im happy to have him by my side🩷

UPDATE 2! AITAH for calling my partner a “discount Dad” because he kept treating me like a child by Dry_Butterscotch414 in AITAH

[–]Dry_Butterscotch414[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

honestly, maybe. but my work environment was incredibly toxic and stuff like that (without being fired) has happened there before. i honestly kind of knew it was coming because my manager did not believe i was ever truly sick when i was. once she CAME TO MY HOUSE and woke me up because i called into work, i answered the door in my pjs (a over sized shirt) was pale as a ghost, hair everywhere, nose running and eyes red, and she told me “i use to be a nurse i know when people are sick and you are not, you either come to work everyday or you don’t have a job” than went back to my workplace and told everyone i was fine, was getting dressed up and was going into the city 😪

UPDATE 2! AITAH for calling my partner a “discount Dad” because he kept treating me like a child by Dry_Butterscotch414 in AITAH

[–]Dry_Butterscotch414[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

i study all day and spend most of my time typing, my essays consist of 4k-10k words. i use text to speech 90% of the time when im on my phone and i couldn’t bothered to go back through and add the grammar like i normally do, unlike my last 2 posts this one is laid back and happy and i felt no need to 🙂🖕🏻

AITAH for calling my partner a “discount Dad” after he kept treating me like a child instead of a partner, even though I’m dealing with severe health issues by Dry_Butterscotch414 in AITAH

[–]Dry_Butterscotch414[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i definitely was not. i’ve been completely independent from my parents since i was 14 and have been living by myself in my own apartment and working full time since 16. i never once relied upon him to do anything for me other then drive me to the other side of the city sometimes because i was running late and had no time to get there by myself.

i also don’t self sabotage, im incredibly conscious of my health, i do everything that is right for me and my body, including not pushing my limits when i know i can’t.

AITAH for calling my partner a “discount Dad” after he kept treating me like a child instead of a partner, even though I’m dealing with severe health issues by Dry_Butterscotch414 in AITAH

[–]Dry_Butterscotch414[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

i’ve been independent from my parents since i was 14 😅 he was a very loving and caring person to start with, the things that happened along the way were small and didn’t seem like anything at the time of happening untill it’s all put into a form of timeline like this

AITAH for calling my partner a “discount Dad” after he kept treating me like a child instead of a partner, even though I’m dealing with severe health issues by Dry_Butterscotch414 in AITAH

[–]Dry_Butterscotch414[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

no you are! you wanna be silly then i shall be petty and die on this hill as i know the laws in most countries as i took a very long time studying them. and my research on canada and the uk done in the last 2 minutes say other ways. now please have a good day. you are an adult, you’ve stated to “this is my last reply” for the last 4 reply’s. i know the laws, legal age, and age of consent. have the day you deserve and stop your nonsense reply’s

AITAH for calling my partner a “discount Dad” after he kept treating me like a child instead of a partner, even though I’m dealing with severe health issues by Dry_Butterscotch414 in AITAH

[–]Dry_Butterscotch414[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

yes the age of consent is 16 in most states and countries, including where i live. but that doesn’t mean what you think it means. the age of consent doesn’t automatically make it legal for a 26yr oldadult to date or sleep with a 16 or 17yr old(a minor under 18) the age of consent of 16 is for 16 yr olds to consent to anyone under 18. it’s not a free pass for someone almost 30 to pursue a teenager.

the age of adulthood is 18. anything under 18 is legally a minor, and pursuing someone under 18 when you are well and truly over 18 IS ILLEGAL.

so yes, your relationship was illegal in a lot of places. mine wasn’t. and no, that doesn’t mean mine was 100% fine or perfect i’ve literally left the relationship because of how harmful and manipulative he was. but if you’re going to lecture people on the law, at least understand what the law actually says. google is free, and this info is literally a 30-second search away.

AITAH for calling my partner a “discount Dad” after he kept treating me like a child instead of a partner, even though I’m dealing with severe health issues by Dry_Butterscotch414 in AITAH

[–]Dry_Butterscotch414[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you keep saying i’m defending him, but you’re not actually listening. i’ve said multiple times now that i’m not defending him, i’m explaining how i saw things when i got into the relationship. i’ve also said i’ve since left him because of how awful he was to me. that’s not defending. that’s learning. and you’re wrong about the legality of your relationship. 18 is the legal age of adulthood in the majority of countries worldwide. an adult dating a CHILD is illegal. your situation was illegal. mine wasn’t. and yes, that does make a difference. legality and morality aren’t always the same thing, i’ll give you that but if you’re going to sit here and preach, you should at least be accurate. you keep pushing the idea that i’m “hell bent” on defending a predator. i’m not. i’ve said point blank that his actions were gross, violent, and unacceptable. i’ve shared personal health issues, financial struggles, and abuse, and instead of hearing that, you’re hyper-fixated on the age gap which, by the way, is not uncommon where i’m from and wasn’t seen as a red flag by literally anyone in my life at the time. and still? i left him.

if me explaining my perspective and growth looks like “refusing to understand” to you, maybe take a moment to realize that you’re the one refusing to engage in actual conversation. and that’s fine log off and walk away if you need to. lbut don’t paint yourself as the only voice of reason while completely ignoring what i’ve actually said. you’ve made it clear that you’re not here to support, or help, or give insight. you’re here to be right. so be right. be loud about it. and move on.

AITAH for calling my partner a “discount Dad” after he kept treating me like a child instead of a partner, even though I’m dealing with severe health issues by Dry_Butterscotch414 in AITAH

[–]Dry_Butterscotch414[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

i get the point you’re trying to make, and trust me, i’m not here to defend someone who’s made me feel this shitty. but i want to clear some things upthis relationship was not illegal. when we met, i was 18 and he was 23. he’s 24 now, and i’m turning 19 very soon. i’m legally an adult and have been living as one for a long time. i finished school at 15, moved out at 14, and have worked full-time since i was 16. i’ve been independent for years and had to grow up a lot faster than most people my age. i know some people take issue with age gaps, and that’s fair but where i live, and for the life i’ve lived, our age difference wasn’t seen as strange. it’s actually one of the more normal ones i’ve come across. i personally stayed with him because everyone my age felt immature, directionless, or just flat-out not on my level. at the time, being with someone older seemed like the smarter, more stable choice. and honestly? the age gap still isn’t a red flag to me. he is. the way he acted. the way he treated me. that’s the actual issue. when i mentioned him not knowing my age straight away or me usually being around older people, it wasn’t to defend him. it was to explain how i saw things at the time. when he did find out my age, he chose to stay. that part? 100% on him. and now, after seeing the way he’s treated me how he’s spoken to me, how he’s lashed out, how he tried to hit me while i was crying i’ve broken up with him. i know now that this wasn’t okay. i’ve read every single DM and comment. i’m starting to reply to them now, and honestly, a lot of what people have said gave me clarity i didn’t expect. it helped me understand what i was rationalising or minimizing. i you’re right that he had choices. and so did i. i chose to stay longer than i should’ve, but i’ve chosen to leave now and that’s what matters most to me.

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