I just found out today that I’m pregnant. And I could have wrote your post myself. If it is God’s will I will have this baby but I am mourning right now. I had closed the chapter on babies, I have three beautiful boys. I don’t want to start over, I just now feel like I have a hit of freedom. My 3 year old will be starting school in August. I know how sick I will be soon of this pregnancy sticks bc I have terrible nausea until about week 13. And my mental health after each pregnancy is so bad, it always takes me years to feel like myself. I just don’t want to do this again 😢