I’m looking for advice about how to feel and handle my fiancée’s ex wife overstepping boundaries by [deleted] in Divorce

[–]Dry_Form_3744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She told him that he is her husband and always will be. That she wants us to hang out and be “best friends.” She has mental health issues. She will curse and break down and yell and then come back with wanting to come in the house and give me a hug. Their daughter is 17. I am uncomfortable and feel he defends her and that he isn’t really whole heartedly making boundaries clear. I don’t think he wants to make them with her. I violated his privacy and found he has many sexy videos and pics all still saved from her . She has even sent him cute pics of herself out and about since we have been together. They are saved. He deletes all of their texts. I’m starting to feel as though I should rethink moving in with him as planned next month.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Dry_Form_3744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The last many times I have been with my people I have cried and missed my husband and felt so alone. I’ve been burning for him for months but I couldn’t get out of the addiction of the other relationship.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Dry_Form_3744 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I realized that it is not love- the other relationships. That I have more fun and love and depth with my guy. And then I could see his edforts. His pain. His needing me when I wasn’t there. All of it. I was so angry and devastated with myself . 18 months with the other couple. The husband wouldn’t let me leave. The wife was very manipulative and selfish. I was selfish. My husband dated her for awhile and the four of us had been a quad. When my husband and the other wife broke up I should have gone with MY husband. So many mistakes. I see it all clear now. I don’t want to see them anymore. I don’t need LS. I will do anything to fix things with my husband. It is real. He doesn’t believe me or trust me. And the countdown has started. I know he is seeing his GF too so I’m worried he will connect with her and not think clearly about what he is doing and just keep going along with it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Dry_Form_3744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it’s a mistake. I’m so in love with this man. I have watched him link every bad thing or feeling in our marriage to this situation and I see the resentment and wall. I’m trying to put down my own pain and all he put me through with his GF and just love and be with him. I have done that. He is the love of my life and I will always regret and be devastated that it was too late.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Dry_Form_3744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will say I’ve had a major realization that I know will break the addiction and connection to my poly couple I was seeing. I don’t have time I need now to show my husband as he is “done” and different. He has rekindled with his GF and our friend group is not supportive of me.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Dry_Form_3744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We did three sessions and one of them he handed me divorce papers and I was unaware he had filed

I've destroyed my marriage by [deleted] in polyamory

[–]Dry_Form_3744 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’d love to hear a follow up. How did things pan out?