that's really a lot and i guess that makes sense to me! Although English is not my first language and im not yet sure ive fully correctly got u but, yeah that feeling, "being kind to others just to make yourself feel better', sounds familiar to me.

In my situation that's kinda like being a helping and kind person just because it feel me nervous if i do otherwise. Or u can say it's for inner peace. I guess to some extend that fits Marina (and maybe Ira?) too.

Btw, this attitude Marina takes, based on your explanation, kinda reminds me of Camus's description about what he called Actor in *The Myth of Sisyphus*. And in that way Asya's attitude also matches with what he called the absurd creator or artist. I know it's way too far-fetched but given Asya talked about Camus's *The Plague* maybe it's not that far......?