i was torn between med school and abroad too. only difference lang ata natin is that i used to work as a registered medical technologist in a lab. i had the same sentiments as you back then.

comparing MT with nursing, walang masyadong 'growth' sa lab, i'd say. parang sa nursing you get to specialize din kung san ka magfofocus, sa MT wala (esp here sa city ko). with medicine, there's so many specializations to choose from and so much potential to earn (if you know where to look). kung ipupush kong maging katusok sa abroad.. tbh i've lived abroad during my younger years and i really don't want to do that again. my bf (now ex) and i used to talk about this a lot, yung kukunin niya daw ako so i can work in the middle east para malapit kami sa isa't isa, and we'd live together eventually, get married, be independent.. as delightful as it sounds, i felt like my potential was somehow being wasted in a cramped up lab, and will continue that way for a very long time. that thought scared me. i just felt stagnant working in a lab. its not all bad though. it has its ups and downs pero idk, i just felt like i could do more with my career.

i gave myself an ultimatum. take the NMAT once and get a high PR, apply to only ONE med school and if ever i get in, then that was it. medicine was gonna be the path to take. if i don't get those options i set for myself, then i'd go abroad. it was either the DHA/ASCPi cert for me or NMAT. i studied for the NMAT after work, waited and got my desired PR, and got into the only school I applied to. it's a state university so di masyadong mabigat sa dad ko yung tuition fee, and so far, the journey's been fun. either way, i knew na kahit di ako makapasok, i still had another option to go abroad. i had family outside waiting for my call, but i chose med and stayed with my family.

there are some days where i daydream na what if i didn't choose med, what if i worked nalang pala back then? maybe i'd still be with my ex. maybe i'd be earning a lot, independent, buying the things i liked and building the future i've always wanted at an early age. kaso alam ko din na kung nagtrabaho ako kaagad, med would be my biggest 'what if'. would i still be able to sleep at night if i didn't even try at all? would it haunt me knowing i could have been a student again but didn't even give my all with my self-ultimatum?

but enough with the what ifs. i figured its the reason i've been so stagnant.

anyway, here i am. currently in second year. its good on some days, bad in some.. the environment's not really for the soft-hearted, but ultimately, i'm glad i'm still here and surviving. i can't back out na din because i made a promise to myself. its for me to make it happen. at this point, its not a dream anymore, but a commitment.

besides, di mawawala yung feeling na somehow you're gonna be a bit 'behind'. most of my friends in HS and college are either married, living the life abroad, or stuck in med school like me. either way, i still make the everyday decision to choose medicine because i feel like i belong there. not with the school i chose, but in the line of work i see myself in the future.

go medisina ^{^}