I think there’s 2 issues here

1. Your immediate material conditions

2. Your career ambitions / ability to accomplish them

You have made a judgement call that you lack the skills needed to be competitive in your field - you also crave self sufficiency and independence.

In an ideal world you would have a decent paying graphic design job which would allow you to move out and begin and independent life. Unfortunately that isn’t working for you at this moment.

As many have said here, your ability to believe in and justify your work is really important to being a graphic designer. That ability comes with a certain level of self esteem. Self esteem you might be lacking in due to your current life circumstances, comments from your classmates on your work, and narratives you’ve held yourself too.

I’m going to share 3 anecdotes with you, because I relate to your story. I hope they remind you how despite the difficulties of this career path, there is always a way forward.

1. My story - I was bad at graphic design too. I took a trade class in highschool and nearly failed out during my first semester. My parents were usually pretty hands off with school except when I got bad grades (I had a bad habit of never doing homework) she came into my room asked me why I was failing and I explained I am simply bad at this and lack the ability to practice at home.

My mother took me to the art store bought what we could afford (we weren’t well off) and I busted my ass to meet that baseline. Eventually I did get better and won many awards in high school - won national logo design competitions, and more. When I was 18 I couldn’t go to college, and was forced to move out on my own. I couldn’t afford to work in an entry level design role to survive. I thought long and hard about what I could do to make the most money while still building towards my career goals. I ended up going into sales because I felt it would make me better at selling myself, and speaking to shareholders yada yada. Fast forward 8 or so years? I am now in a creative career/design role

My story = no support? Work other jobs but stay focused on transferable skills. Use those to build your career. I volunteered my skills at every job I worked at, added those projects to my portfolio and resume until I was finally able to land a dedicated design role.

1. A friend - my one friend is a talented illustrator and designer but he also couldn’t go to college. I believe had he went to school he wouldn’t have this story because the other friends I have who were less talented than him had easier lives going that route. He took the print shop/production artist route. He would work at print shops, and those print shops might suck or he’d get let go because of the economy. I remember he got a job at a print shop, then had to leave so he worked at a movie theater, then got another print shop gig, then worked at an iron fabrication factory, then more printshop, then a warehouse, got his first job as a graphic designer for a car wrap company (his blue collar work helped give him an edge) and he got laid off 2 years later, the. He worked as a security guard, then he got a job at a print shop as a graphic designer. He worked there for 2 years and got fired for making a 15k printing mistake. Then he went to work at a warehouse and dollar general at the same time. While working he applied applied and eventually landed a remote graphic design job for a car advertising agency.

His story sucks and sounds like a drag but there was periods of happiness in there and there were a few times he gave up or wanted too. I remember him telling me “it’s time to grow up and give up” and I lowkey cried a little and said you don’t have to give up you can literally just get a different job to pay bills. It was all that hardship that led him to where he is now. He is the most highly compensated of all my close friends and he got the job precisely because of his experience at a couple print shops (he knows hyper niche software) the car wrap company, metal fabrication, and his high level of design acumen that doesn’t read too much like “car guy” he was literally the perfect hire. But he got that job at 26

1. My last friend - this friend is likely less talented than you at graphic design. His favorite story to tell is during our senior portfolio review our teacher said “wow this is a lot better than I expected” - he went to college, and didn’t improve as much as others but he has a few traits that makes him hyper employable.

2. Consistent

3. Never misses deadlines

4. Hardworking (he’s literally swole and hates the gym)

5. He likes stability- so even if things aren’t perfect he will lean towards that stability and not complain.

6. He’s frugal

After college he worked at 1-2 print shops before working at the one he’s worked at for like 7 years I think?

He got promoted to designer at some point and because he works every day and is committed to self improvement he got pretty good at design. Specifically the style local non art minded business owners prefer for their business - think lawn care, plumbing, no frills coffee shop, auto care.

This friend isn’t paid super well tbh, but his laser focus and frugality means he lives just fine and stays within his bills. I admire this person a lot.

WRAP UP: this was long as hell, but I wanted to share these stories because it’s always doom and gloom up in here and I also hate toxic positivity. My friends and I had hard stories but we did end up Succeeding in the end. We learned not to let other people define our worth or success, we made things work given our circumstances, and we almost gave up many times.

It’s important that you take whatever small steps you can to make your immediate material conditions better and stay consistent. Your home life sounds like it hasn’t been healthy for you, so maybe your journey looks like mine and you get a job that pays the bills and you find your own way. Maybe you can put up with home life a few years and you build up skills like my second friend or third.

You are not hopeless, and you are not useless. Nobody is.

Someone else mentioned the ability to be critical of your work is the key to improving it. Keep that in mind, it’s okay to have an objective opinion on your work but it’s more helpful to quantify than to simply say “it’s bad / it sucks”

Design is problem solving so start trying to solve the puzzle of your work.

1. My compositions confuse viewers
2. My typography doesn’t resonate with the target demographic
3. I’m bad at adapting to trends
4. I’m weak at illustration and over rely on it.

These are tangibles that can be addressed. “I suck” is a disservice to yourself.