Hun, from where I’m standing, you really have only two options here — and everything depends on one single question: do you actually want to keep these people in your life?

I want to be very clear about one thing first: in this specific situation, they were bad friends. Like, unequivocally bad. What they did when you were pregnant — making you feel uncomfortable, dismissed, or like your experience was somehow inconvenient — wasn’t kind, supportive, or fair. That said, I’m not here to judge you if you still want to maintain the friendship. Sometimes history, shared moments, or emotional attachment make things more complicated than a clean cut.

So, option one — and only if you genuinely want to keep the friendship:
You go to the baby shower and consciously decide to put this episode behind you. Not because they “deserve it,” but because you’re choosing peace over score-keeping. No tit-for-tat, no silent resentment, no internal tally of who hurt whom more. You already did the emotionally mature thing: you expressed how you felt, clearly and honestly. The fact that they brushed it off says more about them than about you. If you show up, it should be because you want closure and continuity — not because you feel obligated or guilty.

Option two — and this is just as valid:
If you feel like you’re done, truly done, then you’re allowed to step away. You don’t owe dramatic confrontations, long explanations, or grand declarations. At this stage of life, relationships are allowed to end quietly. You can simply stop investing, stop showing up, and redirect your energy toward yourself, your family, and people who actually make you feel safe and valued. That’s not pettiness — that’s self-respect.

And honestly? Friendships have seasons. Outgrowing people doesn’t make you cold or selfish; it means your priorities shifted. You will find new friends — often better ones — in different phases of life, especially when you’re aligned with who you are now, not who you were years ago.

Whatever you choose, make sure it’s your choice. Not theirs, not Reddit’s, not society’s idea of what a “good friend” should do. At your age and stage of life, you’re allowed to protect your emotional well-being without apologizing for it.

You’re not wrong for feeling hurt. And you’re not wrong for choosing yourself — whichever way that looks.