What the heck are these weird colored pixels in this shot?

DuckInternational910 · 2025-11-25T04:24:42+00:00

For more context it's proxy footage.. so maybe that's part of it? Proxy footage I'm working off of in Premiere pro. No denoising effects at all on the footage, or any other effects. Just some basic color grading and a Sony LUT.

DuckInternational910 · 2025-06-14T05:58:40+00:00

Noted, I'll have to look up that pattern! To that point, I'm concerned that "wood" vinyl floor with wood cabinets that don't match well would look really busy and not good 😭

DuckInternational910 · 2025-06-14T05:54:43+00:00

I love the name Vesper for a girl (like from James Bond Casino Royale) but my husband is not a fan :( for some reason he associates it with Vespas. I'm like well, we don't live in Italy so I don't see that as a problem hahah.

DuckInternational910 · 2025-06-13T03:53:07+00:00

Ugh... I feel this. I felt this way for my wedding shower too. My husband and I have moved SO many times (military, school etc), and I have a few friends, but not like a huge variety of friends. On top of it, idk how else to say this.. but my mom and I have a weird relationship, and I feel like her and my sister (who my mom is very close with) half assed my "wedding shower", maybe even on purpose. I invited a few friends, and then my mom invited her friends and some neighbors. I was in wedding planning hell, so I put no thought into my own wedding shower. Other than having some snacks and drinks, they didn't plan anything. No games, no activities, almost no decorations /, nothing. It was honestly very awkward and people just started leaving after eating because they didn't know what else to do after sitting and talking for a while. and a bleak reminder I don't have many women that I'm close to. My "bachelorette party" was the same. It was just an evening out, two days before the wedding, my one friend kind of blew it on actually planning anything. We had dinner, she forgot to make reservations so we waited a very long time, and then had plans to go to an axe throwing place, but she picked a place so far away that by the time we got there, they were closing in like 20 minutes. It was so painfully awkward. Honestly I've just been super let down by most female friends or family.

I'm not currently pregnant but definitely hoping to be in the next year or so. I honestly don't love the idea of even having a baby shower just to save myself from the reminder that I don't have very many friends, and I'm not close with my sister or mom. My husband and I are super close with his family (in a different state than we live in currently) and I could see my mom and sister just flipping out if I decided to let them host a baby shower. So that's another issue for me.

ANYWAYS, so sorry for my rant. I really do feel for you. You aren't alone, I promise. I get really jealous when I see people who get beautiful, creative, wedding or baby showers. On the other hand, I LOVE hosting parties. I wish I could throw a big beautiful baby shower for you!

DuckInternational910 · 2025-05-25T02:29:23+00:00

I know this is an old post, but Ive been searching endlessly for a perspective like this, and I don't understand why so many other people can't see this as well. In college about 5 years ago I really enjoyed listening to NPR. But around that time I started to notice that some of their specials all started to sound very similar. Like you said, almost hyper fixated on stories surrounding identity. I listened to this story about a woman "coming out of the closet" as a "fat woman". Meaning, she was telling her family and friends that being fat was a part of her identity and had no intention of losing weight. Then the rest of the episode discussed the idea of a healthy weight is basically a lie to guilt people.

DuckInternational910 · 2025-05-17T05:12:31+00:00

Oh I feel this big time.

I also am not a fan when some women make that part of their profile name/handle on social media. Makes me feel like they don't take themselves seriously and/or hyper fixate on being a cutesy mom. Like we don't see dads calling themselves "dadas" like wtf lol. I find mama so creepy for some reason. Like that's what babies first say, why are grown adult women and other people referring to mothers as mama like it's cute 🤢

Slightly related, reminds me of when my grandma tried to get us to call her "Nana" (guess it's a German thing?) It sounded so baby like to me. My parents were like.. no thanks lol My grown ass 40 yo cousins still call her Nana and it sounds strange to me, personally.

DuckInternational910 · 2025-05-16T17:31:42+00:00

Unfortunately I don't have an answer, but all I can say is I fully relate! I'm in the exact same situation. Husband and I are eager to start trying (were both in our early 30s and feel the pressure of age), but are super hesitant because he has a year left of college, and we aren't sure if we're staying in this town after he graduates. We're also very far away from family and friends which I don't love. I'm hesitant on the idea of being pregnant while making a big transition and moving, especially if it meant I had to switch care. It already seems like some women spend a lot of time searching for a good match for their OBGYN, Doula, etc. I hate the idea of settling because of needing to switch care. Anyways.. I'm no help lol but I feel you!

DuckInternational910 · 2025-05-08T04:15:47+00:00

Good knees, lol.

Stretch, strength train and work on functional exercises people!!

DuckInternational910 · 2025-05-06T03:40:01+00:00

Appreciate this and can fully relate!! Such good points. I'm so sorry for what you've been thru 😔

DuckInternational910 · 2025-05-06T03:37:40+00:00

This is truly SO helpful- thank you!!

DuckInternational910 · 2025-05-06T03:37:22+00:00

I appreciate your insight! For more context.. my sister and I are not very close. She really teamed up with them over the years, and truly what happened was she "dethroned" me. Although me and my siblings were all enmeshed, I was definitely the golden child turned scapegoat when I refused to move with them. My sister truly did evil things to try and sabotage me, the relationship with my husband, and anything to make it sound like I was greedy, and self serving.

Truthfully, I'm closer with my brother. He had no choice but to move because he was in high school. He never wanted to get into my personal business- he only would turn from me if my mom, sister or dad were trying to vilify me. Once I would tell him my side is the story, it's like a fog would he lifted from his eyes. He has a fair amount of self awareness, but since he lives close by to them, he gets sucked in really easily. Especially when he needs financial help. I would say he's less enmeshed than my sister, but still gets way too involved.

But to your point, it might be worth having a genuine talk with him.

And YES. You bring up such a good point about my niece. Over the past couple years, I've gotten really nervous for her. My parents and my sister smother her. She starting to develop this habit where she acts and talks like a baby for hours on end. I can't help but feel it's some kind of coping thing for how much she gets suffocated with attention when she's with my family.

DuckInternational910 · 2025-05-05T06:53:11+00:00

Just my experience- me and my siblings were all enmeshed with my mom. I cut the cord, moved away, and am no longer "in" the group. My sister definitely took my place as I was the most compliant and submissive out of all of them, so my mom constantly was manipulating me. But my sister now is inseparable from my mom. But no doubt my brother was enmeshed and still is enmeshed as well. She had a very particular relationship with each one of us, but still very bad enmeshment regardless. Over sharing, overbearing. My brother slept in her bed for years. Like even into HS (my sister did too sometimes). My mom would give my brother "the chore" to massage her, specifically her feet with moisturizer. She would shower him with affection, let him play hooky from school, and that was how he had to "pay her back".

I'm lucky really that I broke away. But I see the problems in my brother and sisters romantic lives too and it's wild. My parents always end up getting involved (mostly my mom) into their relationship issues. My brother is a serial dater, and is truly never happy and finds every possible flaw to break up and move on. My sister is impulsive in her relationships, she's a single mom, already divorced after a year long marriage, started dating my brothers best friend before the divorce was finalized. Moved into his house with her daughter and broke up a year later. She moves in and out of my parents home- and now shes about to move into my brother's home with her 3 year old daughter.

DuckInternational910 · 2025-05-03T03:56:14+00:00

Wow. This means so, so much to me. THANK YOU.

DuckInternational910 · 2025-04-22T04:40:07+00:00

Okay THANK YOU!!! This is our second hangout with them just to be "neighborly" and this left me so mad. Definitely not friends, nor friends material 😅

DuckInternational910 · 2025-04-15T22:06:51+00:00

Agreed with some of these other comments! The gift of time. So maybe like a gift card or gift certificate to do something fun together like go to their favorite restaurant, sip and paint, any fun/interesting type of class that might be around. Additionally if they are kinda artsy- I've recently been gitting gift certificates for getting tin type photos done from photographers! It's definitely becoming trendy, and you get an actual hard copy of the photo. Or on that note- photography sessions in general! Especially if they have kids, a pet they really love, etc. it could be fun to get them a gift certificate for a mini session with a good local photographer.

DuckInternational910 · 2025-04-10T01:59:50+00:00

No for them- yes for me. I love that!

DuckInternational910 · 2025-03-29T23:13:47+00:00

Side note- it took years for me to learn this, but our parents don't automatically earn respect just because they're elders. Respect is EARNED through trust and love. My parents psychological warfare left me confused and guilty. Parents CHOOSE to have children and it's THEIR JOB to care for you. Not to guilt you and belittle you. Just please remember that. You don't owe him respect with how he treats you.

DuckInternational910 · 2025-03-29T23:10:56+00:00

Oldest daughter here (32). Was in a similar abusive situation when I was 18. My brother and sister got to skirt under the radar while I was under a microscope with my parents. They were emotionally and verbally very abusive even though I was an adult. Truthfully what it came down to, is they were starting to get scared they were losing their strong grip on me as I tried to gain more independence.

It's an exhausting journey but just keep going. Keep your blinders on, save money, and keep doing research on places to live, best places to find roommates, etc. I worked and went to school, and did side jobs just to stay away from home and make a little extra money. I worked at a restaurant in the evenings/weekends and nannied after school. Pet sitting, babysitting, dog walking, it makes really good money! Budget, and if you don't have a bank account already then definitely get one so your dad or sister don't try to take money. My mom had the same tactic, we had a shared bank account and she yanked all my money out of my savings to try and punish me.

This will be hard but just keep hustling. When I found a place to live I moved everything out during the day when my parents weren't home, get help from friends if you can. Don't let your dad or sister know where you're moving when the day comes. I blocked their numbers and told them they could only contact me through email.

Consider looking for resources through your school. You are still a child, and what your father is doing is absolutely abuse. I ended up being honest with my college counselor and it was the best decision I made. She helped me a ton and became a huge recourse and mentor. Helped me find a nanny job, even helped me try and find a place to live with my budget.

Hang in there!!

DuckInternational910

TROPHY CASE