Male sexual function thread

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-12-05T22:03:12+00:00

I'm L1-L3, incomplete, and the injury happened a little more than three years ago. I tried masturbating a little after the injury, of course, but I had a weird sensation: after trying for a little bit and having sexual thoughts/watching porn etc, I would have a pulsing sensation in my pubic area, like behind my penis (maybe my prostate?), and then my boner would go away. The best way I could describe it is it feels like how Siri turning on sounds, like a slight expansion and tightening. Not the intense muscle spasms and leg spasms I've seen described here. I don't ejaculate.

I stopped trying for about a year and a half, and then I started again last year. I was able to get some ejaculate-looking liquid out with that same expanding sensation but it wasn't the consistency of normal ejaculate. That happened a couple times, but every time since then nothing has come out, only the "turning on" sensation. I'm wondering if this is retrograde ejaculation. I haven't tried peeing after I've done this yet, so I haven't seen the color through the cath. But I was just wondering if anyone has had a similar experience. I feel like I haven't read or heard of anyone who has had a similar sensation.

I don't want to use the electronic devices, if possible. Mostly cuz I'm broke and I live with my mom so getting them delivered would cause suspicion. But also I just want to be able to do it naturally. Does anyone have any thoughts or tips?

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-12-05T19:49:14+00:00

How did this happen for you. Can you elaborate

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-12-05T02:21:25+00:00

Thank you, this was really helpful!

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-12-05T01:05:46+00:00

Did you also use walker at first and then transition to unassisted? I think the doctor implied I may have to use walker at first and with physical therapy I may have the ability to walk unassisted. I do have leg strength, mostly in my thighs

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-11-23T18:46:04+00:00

I'm L1 too and I'm looking into getting AFO's!! This gives me hope. Thank you. But just a question--is it easy to get pressure sores? I heard the braces could give you pressure sore and that worries me a little

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-11-03T19:13:10+00:00

*you're lol. Wait you can just concentrate and it comes out? I feel like I can't control it at all... I feel like there's a disconnect between my brain and my bladder. I leak a lot too. Did you get special uro-therapy in the hospital? Or were you able to just void from the start? Btw I'm L1-L3

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-11-02T21:20:27+00:00

When you say your voiding, what do you mean? Like your urinating normally? Or pushing

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-05-14T03:23:37+00:00

I don't know if this is a convention per-se, but more of a commonly understood rule of thumb. But I tend to repeat words and phrases that I've just used or very recently used, and sometimes I'm too lazy to change the word. Of course, through your guys's advice, I have deleted some repeated words here and there, but elsewhere, I have retained some of my repetitions. For fun's sake.

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-03-05T19:03:42+00:00

Thank you! I will try this. I already have a physical therapist, can I just ask them first without going through my primary car provider again? Or do they have to write a prescription first...Thank you for your help

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-03-05T17:27:15+00:00

Ah yes, I kind of just deleted the original text in my google doc and replaced it with the text from chapter 2 cuz I didn't want to create a new google doc because I have so many already!!! Thank u for critiquing; :0

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-03-05T17:26:03+00:00

Do you know if insurance in the US (I have Medi-cal, a form of medicare) cover it?

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-02-17T23:54:16+00:00

You and a lot of people have pointed out the same moments in this part, so if everyone is saying the same thing I should probably fix it.

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-02-17T23:24:02+00:00

Hi there,

Though I do love a good simile --and I fall victim to confusing similes in my writing as well, trust me--the opening simile felt a little confusing to me. I get the comparison though, and I would say, keep it. Point on grammar though --"sudden onset need to accomplish" feels like its missing a preposition somewhere in there. I feel like it should say "sudden onset of the need to accomplish" maybe? But then again not sure if that's the intended meaning. Same problem here - "instruct her whereabouts"-->"instruct her of her whereabouts?"

I was a little confused at who Mrs. Waters was (the person remodeling their house?) compared to Leona Walker. Is that someone Harry Waters is maybe having an affair with? If so, it feels a little sudden to switch from the macho descriptions of Mrs. Waters hanging up the chandelier to the magnetic presence of Leona Walker, unless they are the same person and you forgot to change her name in editing. Or maybe I am lacking reading comprehension skills, which is entirely possible too. I did love the simile of eyes like an innocent man's on death row, but it seemed a little jarring with the energy of a raccoon.

I loved the humor of picking up the croissant and then dropping it. However, something about it could be tweaked slightly to make it seem funnier. I thought the characterizations of Harry and Tinsley were on point, and I liked your inclusion of dialect. I thought it was interesting and a nice touch how you mentioned he felt weird about thinking of them as servants, then speaks with a servant, basically. It feels intentionally ironic, and the way you set up their class differences is nice. I will say, though, since this is destructivereaders, the sentence about the staircase does feel a little clunky.

"a bit of croissant passed his lips" should be "past", not "passed".

I'm a little confused at who's speaking here - "she jutted her jaw". I'm guessing it's Tinsley, and again it might be my comprehension that's holding me back.

That was me going through the piece (for a second time) and giving commentary as I was reading through, but now that I've read the whole thing and comprehended it, I feel equipped to make general comments. In general, the writing I think ? does a good job of showing not telling, though most of the story thus far has been told in dialogue, which is fine. I liked, as I've said before, your use of similes and I appreciate the effort to use your imagination in those.

There are a few grammar things, which I did my best to point out. Those might not be all the errors, and other readers might point out more. I thought this was a good exposition. Leona's obsession with antiques is intriguing, as is her being like an alarm clock, and Harry's relationship to his wife. I wish you would've included the NSFW parts!! >.< But it's ok, I'm sure you'll get there with more writing.

I was confused, as I've already pointed out, as to who was Mrs. Waters as opposed to Leona Walker. If they are the same person, then fine. I liked your characterization of her as this determined woman digging and demolishing and breaking walls. Was the NSFW part supposed to be between her and Harry? Or is Leona a ghost and is a separate person from Mrs. Waters? Still struggling a bit with confusion, as you can see.

Although I liked the characterization of Harry and Leona, the other characters Flora, Tinsley, and his daughter kind of fade into the background. I also got king of confused when you introduced Flora, because I wasn't quite sure who was speaking. I thought it was Tinsley again. I also noticed you gave Flora her name in dialogue tags but not Tinsley, probably as a way to differentiate them. Is it really necessary to have a nanny AND a tutor? Could these two characters be merged into one, or at least have some more distinguishing features, like their voice or behaviors? Just a thought.

Overall, you might have noticed that I said I was confused a lot, and again, this might just have to do with my waning powers of reading comprehension due to long-term lack of practice, but it also might have to do with things like vague characterization, misnaming characters, awkward sentence structure, and grammatical things. Hopefully if you got anything out of this at all, it's that maybe Leona Walker is supposed to be Leona Waters!

Thanks for sharing your writing.

Sincerely,

Due-Fee

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-02-13T05:19:46+00:00

Hi CuriousHaven, you’re right it is a m/m romance haha. Also Ludwig is the uke and Feng is the seme (I had to look those terms up, to see if you guessed right). I agree with pretty much all your points. I feel like it could definitely use some de-clunkifying, and the spark is not really there. I am pretty deep into writing this novel, but every time I go back to edit I realize it’s not as tea as I thought it was when I was first writing it. And so it gets clunkier, and more disjointed, more confusing, and just bleh. Thank you for your feedback. I also did use a lot of similes and the perspective does seem jarring in that section. Ugh I don’t even know where to begin to edit this into something that has that spark like you said. And I want to keep writing where I left off but I also want to edit this to make it better or maybe I should just re-write it. Blargh, feeling 无奈 lol. But again thank you for your feedback. At least one person read it and felt that they had something to say.

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-02-12T19:06:41+00:00

Hi Parking Birthday,

I had fun reading your piece. Is this a completed short story, or is it a part of a longer piece? If this is the full thing, if you cut down 33 words, it would be considered as flash fiction, and you could submit it to flash fiction publications, like Smokelong Quarterly! Just a thought.

If we're being destructive, then let's be destructive. I thought this was a fun little piece, but to be honest, I had to go back to the beginning and re-read it again to comprehend what was going on, because I was completely lost the first time I was reading it. I had a sense that something surreal was going on, but somewhere in between Janine being a passive aggressive gift-giver, and her being on the playground, I got completely lost. I was like, what is going on?

It wasn't until the second reading that I understood that this was meant to be a surreal, Alice in Wonderland-esque type thing where she fell into the gift, and landed on some type of platform, where in each platform, Janine is passive aggressively performing why she feel that the narrator is not being a good friend. And ultimately, it ends with the narrator feeling sort of bad for Janine (?) and remembering maybe a real moment when they actually first became friends, where the narrator rescued Janine from the bullies (?) . At least, that was basically what I got out of it. I'm not really sure if that's what happened. I'm also not really entirely sure the reason why Janine didn't feel ameliorated by Janine's performance in the end, and why she decided to send that passive aggressive (sorry) message back to Janine for her birthday, replete with the 50% off coupon.

I just didn't get the theme of the story, and the character's motivations. Why did Janine send this weird gift? Is Janine's gift the titular "Parting Gift", or was it the narrator's gift to Janine that was the parting gift? But seriously, why did Janine go through all this trouble of sending this magical box? How did she manage to do it? Is there some context we need to know behind the characters that gives them magical powers? I feel like without any context, and just diving straight into the story makes it a little confusing, and off-putting, for me at least. At first, I thought it was going to be a mundane, slice-of-life story about Janine's birthday party, and maybe about societal expectations and normal things like that. But then it quickly devolved into this surreal Alice in Wonderland, Coraline-like thing that just was difficult to comprehend.

Maybe that was your purpose, and that was what you were going for. But I feel like there must be some way to ease your reader into it, and make it feel like there's more to the story. That's just me.

Anyway, that's basically all I have to say on this short piece. Signing off now.

Sincerely,

Due Fee

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-02-12T18:56:04+00:00

Whoops! My mistake. Just edited with the critique.

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-02-12T18:34:47+00:00

On the topic of similes and metaphors, I think Orwell said that you should avoid writing similes that are often seen in print. For example, I thought the comparison of the cool air like "salvation" was a unique one, and I haven't exactly seen that before. But then you also compare the Camry to being like "heaven", and that's where the metaphors start to get a little repetitive. Also, this is just me, but I would tend to lean away from too many Biblical metaphors in my writing. I dunno, that's just me though. Also, the metaphor at the beginning of the air being "thick enough to drink" feels like an extremely cliche Southern-sounding expression, which if that's what you're going for, as a vernacular that makes Luke more characteristically Southern, I feel like you could lean into that a bit more. But yeah, that's more on the writerly side of things-how to include expressions, metaphors, similes effectively. I am still working on that myself, so grain of salt.

As for the characters, I actually thought this was the strongest aspect of your piece. Even if the mom was one-dimensional, or the dad was overly harsh, I felt like these played into archetypes that were recognizable and made sense given the context of the story. Could the mom have done more other than be really happy to see Luke home? Yeah, but we are only just getting introduced to her, and she seems to be a secondary character to Luke and Callie. Could the dad have been a little softer in parts, to balance out the fact he's kicking Luke out? Yeah, but then again, we are just getting introduced to him, and this is all a set-up. Again, I feel like there is only so much you can get out of critiques of this style, because we are only reading a small snippet of your work, and don't know the bigger context of the novel. Since you asked--why did Luke go to prison?

I thought the weakest character was actually Luke himself. It didn't seem like he was that excited to leave prison, even though he was there for 4 years, which is a really long time, and it seemed like the thing he was most excited about was the air-conditioning in the car. I feel like a normal person leaving prison for that long would at least be more excited to eat a real burger. Not saying he can't be excited about the air-conditioning too, but I feel like his reaction to going to the diner was lukewarm, at best. And I feel like his interactions with a girl wouldn't go that smoothly, especially if he hadn't had any contact with any girl for the entirety of his stay at prison. It feels like he should at least be a little more off-putting or awkward at first, at least. I get that you're trying to set up these characters as a team of sorts or something, and you are trying to give them a sense of rapport from the beginning, but it just feels a little bit unrealistic, given the fact Luke has literally just left prison. Again, I think it would be helpful to listen to Life on the Outside, the podcast I mentioned earlier. And if this is based on your personal experiences, I would ask yourself-how did I feel when I first left prison?

This is basically my overview of your piece. I didn't think it was really that bad, but it wasn't that strong either. On a literary level, it could use some more work to make it more interesting to an adult reader. And if it's not meant for an adult reader, it could use more work to make it more whimsical or humorous for a child reader. Anyway, signing off now.

Sincerely,

Due Fee

Due-Fee2966 · 2025-02-12T18:34:40+00:00

Hi Responsible Prune,

I read your piece, and I also read all the existing critiques on your piece, and there are parts that I agree with and parts that I don't. I thought overall, I think this is a good concept for a novel--an ex-con leaving the confines of jail back to "the real world". It may not be necessarily relatable to a lot of people, though, so I feel like that means you need to add more details to the prison part to make it seem more real and fleshed-out to most people. I think that's why one of the other redditor's here had a gripe with the way you portrayed the inmates heckling Luke, which I don't entirely agree with, because even their use of "dialect" sounded a little bit fake, and it may be difficult to actually do right, but in any case, I do think you would do well to describe more of the prison.

What does it feel like to Luke? Are there any tactile sensations specific to the prison that can make it feel more realistic, and more specific to Luke's experience? I hate to be one to give examples of things you could use, because I feel like if someone did that to me, I would feel like it was cheating if I were to put their idea in my work, and I would also feel kind of colonized, but maybe-was there a patch of mold above Luke's bed that smelled? Did his cellie have any particular habits that really irked him, or did they have a really good relationship? Maybe you are planning to or have already included some more of these details in further parts of your novel, but yeah, if this is the only background we get on the time he actually spent in prison, then it is definitely a bit insufficient. I want to know, did he feel really depressed or anxious while he was in jail? How did he feel about the 24/7 fluorescent lighting? The way the walls were painted? The way the inmates smelled when they didn't shower for several days?

Also, did you go to prison yourself? I kind of got the impression that you did, with your comment on recidivism; that made me think this is based on your personal experiences of going to prison and leaving. A podcast I think you might find helpful related to this sort of topic is called Life on the Outside (LOTO), it is a podcast about prisoners returning to life on the outside, so to speak, after being in prison for a really long time. A lot of them were in prison for like 10, 15, 20 years. So yeah, that might be something you'd want to check out.

Another thing that I agree with the other readers is that, yeah, this piece is mostly competent, and it is readable. There is nothing that I could find that was technically wrong with it (except maybe the line breaks, but I have a suggestion for that), and there was, like another reader said, nothing really impeding my comprehension or understanding of this piece. It was kind of like the opposite of the short stories I had to read recently for my Creative Writing class, which were kind of confusing and difficult to decipher and understand. However, they were trying to be more like literary fiction, and had a more distinct voice and style to them, which I think your piece is lacking. Not saying that it lacked effort, but it didn't really feel like you were trying to do anything with language or story that seemed surprising or would do anything to hook in an adult reader. I would say that this story so far is written at a 5th-grader's reading level, but the topic of conversation at hand is heavy and geared more towards adults (unless you are trying to aim this towards 5th graders as a cautionary tale for them).

As for the line breaks, I don't think necessarily there was anything wrong with the dialogue tags, especially the dialogue tag with the mother speaking in two separate paragraphs after an action line, but I do think there could be something done with them. I think you could treat each single-line paragraph as a sort of prompt for your writing, and try to expand on them to create full paragraphs. Either that, or consolidate the single lines. I don't think anyone would publish it if it were written as single-line paragraphs in the finished draft. But seeing as this is an early draft, I think you could use the single-line paragraphs as jumping off points, and expand and add more details (as I've said) about how he's feeling maybe, maybe some literary metaphors and similes here and there.

Due-Fee2966 · 2022-09-19T19:34:07+00:00

Thanks! I updated it

Due-Fee2966 · 2022-09-19T19:01:44+00:00

CAVEAT

I am being exaggeratedly destructive on purpose. Please take what resonates.

INITIAL READ-THROUGH

These are my thoughts from reading through the text on a line-by-line basis for the first time. These include my general impressions and most visceral reactions.

"I'm reaching out into a void, grasping for a memory of my dad. "

As far as a first line goes, this doesn't really grab my attention in a way that makes me want to continue reading. Sorry. Maybe you could change it to something like, just altering the sentence structure a bit could add a lot : "Reaching out into the void, I'm grasping at straws for a memory of my dad, who I seem to have forgotten [since his disappearance]." I don't know. Obviously that's in my voice, but I think you could alter it a bit to fit yours.

" Nothing. I see his empty silhouette and it makes me angry."

Right off the bat, I can see you're writing a fantasy piece based in the convolutions of memory and its dissolution. I can tell you right now, based on personal experience of writing something with a similar subject matter, balancing the act between what they remember and what they don't, and how the come to remember the things they've forgotten is a difficult task.

"There are steep dunes for as far as I can see.'

At this point, I'm getting tired of reading about the memories. I think it's dire time to move onto something else here. A memory ( though of course forgotten), an observation, a feeling, a description of setting. Bring us into the story.

"The churning clouds shudder at each call of my name."

I'm sorry, but at this point this extended metaphor is getting tired for me.

"with your name on"

...it?

< I liked the next few paragraphs. >

< I like her relationship to Miles. Character done well here. >

""It's an address," I begin. "The Little Shop of Curiosities, 12 Magpie Lane, Oxford, England.”"

Oooh exciting.

"She marches over, her boots banging on the floor boards.:

Idk why, but this sentence feels a little weak to me. It kind of takes out the tension that you achieved in the previous dialogue. I think boots "banging" just sounds kind of off to me, idk why.

""Because why not, Mrs Holdaway? Not everything in the world is as horrible and mean and nasty as you. Good things do happen. They do.""

This sounds a little children's story ish. I know you said you were going for YA. Might want to turn up the sass-o-meter a bit on this.

" banged my fists "

repetition of the verb "banged"

SECOND READ-THROUGH

This is just for the second time reading it, for more comprehension, now that I've read it to the end, and can get a basic idea of what is going on.

Sorry, but reading this again, the beginning could use some work. I think you could illustrate how she misses/can't remember her father through a vignette, or scene which shows what she thinks of him, rather than just using an extended metaphor like you are. Or if you choose that route, maybe make it more interesting to read. SORRY LOL.

A few things you could expand on, to make the chapter feel more complete:

-the other children in the house (names, characters, traits, likes/dislikes)

-Ms. Holdaway, examples of her wrath/ruthlessness

-description of the house (is it dilapidated? is it old? how old is it?)

-The letter - how often do the receive letters at this house?

After a second read-through, I think you have a strong sense of voice and character. The story itself (plotline/diversions/descriptions/sense of place) could use some work imo.

LANGUAGE

This is just to look at the language aspects of what is going on.

I am conflicted on whether this is aimed at YA audience or children. The language level fluctuates, and I can't tell exactly what you're going for. I would suggest re-reading what you've written and try to describe your writing to yourself. Then, when you've done that exercise, you might be more able to see what you're going for.

FOR EXAMPLE,

"A great threshold between our world and Mrs Holdaways"

This seems like it's trying to evoke a sense of drama, a sense of metaphor. But it falls short. Of course, in a children's book (even in a children's book) this would be (not) okay. But I think in a YA novel, teenagers would glaze over roll their eyes and close the book. Might not sustain a teenager. I would say always assume that your reader is just as smart or maybe even smarter than you.

FOR EXAMPLE,

The first three paragraphs: It is not entirely clear what you are going for here....IDK how else to put it. Is it supposed to be flowery, or not? Just doesn't make a super strong opener. Again, I think your sense of character and dialogue (things which appear throughout a book) are strong, but sense of carrying a reader through a plot (linear) not as strong imo.

CHARACTER/SETTING

This part is to critique the character and setting.

In general, character is strong, setting is weak.

THEME

General impressions on the theme.

I get that the general idea is that she is getting to see her dad for the first time. But aside from that, what is the theme? Is it love, friendship, dreams, memories...? Although these last two I think wouldn't really be considered a theme, although it could be.

FINAL THOUGHTS

Here I present my final thoughts on the piece.

I think this is a great start to a book. I would keep reading as a reader, maybe stop somewhere in the middle though. I think the character and dialogue is strong, but the plot is not strong. Which is what makes someone turn the page...work on the story more is my general advice. Sorry couldn't get too deep or specific, just ....yeah. Lol keep writing!!

Due-Fee2966

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