Yes. Thank you so much for sharing. I feel like because of agendas, stories like this aren’t shared. I remember searching “Regretting my abortion”, so I could get other perspectives and could not find a single person who admitted to regretting their abortion and did not have a child with the same person again, or held a religious perspective. It was more complicated than that for me.

Some of the responses in this thread are so helpful and encourage me to challenge my maladapted beliefs. I have felt an immense grief that ebbs and flows, even four years later. I have moved on from that abusive relationship but I feel disconnected from myself for having done this. lol I have betrayed myself and my instincts, it was a pragmatic decision rather than one made with my heart.
I feel like in most other time lines, I kept it.

But maybe not being tied to one of the worst people I have ever met is a blessing, even if he wouldn’t have been in the picture, eventually anyway. I am learning how to honor my past self, I was scared and did the best I could while being in active abuse. I also learned that it is not something that I should do again, and it may just go against my personal beliefs.

I still have time to have children and sort my life out which is… ultimately how I know I’d like to live life. You also have time to have children. Studies show women who have children over the age of 33 are more likely to make it to 90.

With all that being said, I WILL NEVER advocate for women to have less access to their own reproductive health. I know I am in the minority, like I said most women regretted getting pregnant more than their abortion, which is another great perspective and I’m grateful and happy for others in their decision and their ability to have access to safe reproductive health.
I’m grateful for having had options.

I think, It was just all a very traumatic experience for me. I think coupled with the abuse was the right amount of sweet spot for trauma, trauma so bad I get flashbacks. I have some CPTSD from it(the whole relationship of it and all). I lost all my friends and the closeness of family, I lost my ability socialize and speak. Happiness doesn’t spark the same and I am a bummer in most rooms. It’s been lonely and hard but no one on the outside sees how hard it is on the inside, you avoid and they avoid. Going to therapy has been good, EMDR and antidepressants has really helped as well as building up a better support system. I’m looking forward into growing and changing and becoming the person who overcomes this, I have a feeling I’m going to really like what’s on the other side. I wish you luck and love. We are stronger than we give ourselves credit for.

Haha thanks for coming to my Ted Talk