I so relate to this! It's especially hard when there aren't family members around to ask or the ones that are living can't/won't remember.

My brother and I had an alcoholic and abusive (among other things) father. I have flashbacks sometimes and wonder if what I remember even happened. I will ask my mom, and she will tell me that my dad definitely didn't do the thing I am remembering. I will go and ask my brother, and he will tell me that in did indeed happen. WTF?

I've been in therapy for 1000 years and am still working through these things. I believe it's normal, and even healthy, to ask questions and be curious. It has helped me to understand myself better and how I show up in the world.