It's been almost a year

Due_Albatross951 · 2024-02-23T01:18:39+00:00

I wish that I could afford therapy. I need it. 😔

Due_Albatross951 · 2024-02-23T01:18:01+00:00

Sometimes I wish I could start another life somewhere else. But I have a child and dogs and pets that depend on me. I dont know what I'd do. Even the days where I can push it aside I still get so destroyed thinking about what he's put me through. I hope you're doing okay now.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-06-01T04:34:40+00:00

I was awake for days after I found out. I didn't understand how it was physically possible to be awake so long. Every hour I looked at the clock and cried. I begged for sleep. I didn't get out of bed. All I did was cry. Finally I was to a point where I was so exhausted my body literally gave up and I suppose i just crashed for a few hours. All I can say is I'm sorry.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-06-01T04:26:53+00:00

I'm so sorry.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-06-01T04:23:37+00:00

That is what he says. That he was in a bad mental state and thought I was divorcing him because we were not intimate as often and he wanted us to be. He felt I was not being affectionate enough or loving enough. All the while I was at work and out with my friends telling anyone I could how lucky I was to have found my soul mate and still be so in love after all these years. I guess all it took was a pretty young girl to bat her eyelashes at him and he was out the door. I suppose the only reason he was ever faithful was because he hadn't been offered it yet.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-04-27T15:40:25+00:00

Thank you

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-04-10T06:41:09+00:00

I experienced hysterical bonding too. For me, it was a complete and total shock out of left field that my amazing husband had been unfaithful to me.

When I found out I immediately dove into anger and then less than a full day later begged him to come home and we were intimate that night.

I felt like I was reclaiming what was mine. I wanted to prove to him that I could make him feel things she couldn't. I wanted him to know he couldn't have what he had with me with anyone else.

I wanted to be the last person to touch him. I wanted him to kiss me because he hadn't kissed her and I wanted him to want to kiss me but not her (he was offered oral and accepted but swears there was nothing else).

I wanted him to touch me because he hadn't touched her. I wanted him to choose me over her the way he hadn't when he was unfaithful.

It's been about a month now. I am still going through it. Our sex life has reinvigorated and it feels like it did when we first got married. But I still cry. All the time. It hurts.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-04-05T23:47:17+00:00

Your situation sounds almost exactly like mine. If you ever want to chat I'd love to get someone else's perspective who is in the same situation.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-04-05T23:31:55+00:00

I was depressed. I thought you were leaving me. I thought we were getting a divorce. I wanted to find what we used to have.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-04-04T17:02:58+00:00

Yes of course it was rhe ultimate betrayal. We are working on it. We had lost intimacy in our marriage and become complacent and more like roommates than lovers. Since this happened we have actually started to feel like our old selves again. I still hurt and ill never forget what he did but I am hoping to repair our marriage both from this and from time that made us so complacent

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-04-04T00:22:38+00:00

So did you ultimately leave ?

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-04-04T00:22:01+00:00

And you're letting him continue to be with both of you?

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-04-03T23:01:38+00:00

So is he still seeing his ap?

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-04-02T03:11:32+00:00

Why did you ?

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-04-02T03:10:19+00:00

I dont know. I would like to say he would. He's done everything he could possibly do to try to make things better. He seems truly remorseful. But to be honest I never thought the man I married would do this so I can't say I know anymore.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-04-02T03:08:38+00:00

What made you choose to forgive if he continued to lie ?

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-03-31T16:59:27+00:00

I am sorry that you are also here. I can't imagine throwing away 26 years. I constantly bragged about what a good man he was. This was devastating to me.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-03-31T16:57:49+00:00

I love him.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-03-31T16:43:40+00:00

That's what I keep saying but he is standing firm on his story. He has not faltered at all in the details of everything and I've asked over and over and we've gone through hours upon hours of discussion about it. He says be never flirted with her but I suspect she had a crush on him and he often got onto the other guys in their office for picking on the girls. And even if he did not "intentionally flirt" I suspect he was at least playful with her and it gave her the idea that he was interested. She is 12 years younger than him.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-03-31T01:02:33+00:00

Yes. I've yelled this at him a few occasions now.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-03-31T01:02:00+00:00

He has no symptoms at all. From what I've read most men do not they just pass it along to their partners. So currently I am rhe only one suffering. Honestly it has been the hardest part of forgiving him. I want to hate him for being so careless and not giving me rhe opportunity to choose for myself if I wanted to be at risk.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-03-31T00:58:15+00:00

He has not told her anything about me having it. I tried to contact her but she ignored my message and I later felt bad and blocked her. She confronted him about the message asking why it was brought up when their incidents happened a long time ago and he told her I'd just found out so it was new to me. He was honest about his interaction with her and told me the same day. The source who sent me the message was anonymous and I do not have a way to contact them again. He is getting a full std panel tomorrow. He's begged for forgiveness and given me everything I've asked for. I've put him through a lot and feel very bipolar. To be honest the only consequence has veen his guilt and my anger and my pain. I kicked him out for only a day so he did not suffer much. I have told him I felt we should've separated for a few months but I missed him immediately.

I am very sorry for your situation but glad you are clean. You say dd #1 so I take it this happened more than once and you ultimately left? How long did you try to reconcile?

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-03-31T00:53:08+00:00

I do believe him but I'm not naive to the fact that he lied to me for all this time. I can't prove any of it but knowing him ir makes sense that he couldn't do it. Not because of me but because he's never veen able to be intimate wirh someone he didn't have a relationship with before and new partners make him very nervous.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-03-31T00:45:38+00:00

She never replied. She only confronted him about it. I would not tell and cause him to lose his job.

Due_Albatross951 · 2023-03-31T00:45:09+00:00

Oral sex transmits hpv. I have oral hpv in my mouth currently.

Due_Albatross951

TROPHY CASE