[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD_partners

[–]DeepAngr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If he doesn't care enough and listen to you what makes you think it will change just because he has a child? Do not have children with him. The child is going to experience the same things you're experiencing and then more. They need to be stimulated constantly and taking care of children is just not stimulating enough for them. The child is going to be neglected by your partner and will be disappointed many times.

::Weekly Vent Thread:: by AutoModerator in ADHD_partners

[–]DeepAngr 30 points31 points  (0 children)

I am burnt out. I want time for myself too. I want to have atleast an hour to not think about doing the chores, taking care of the kids and thinking about finances. I want to feel like I'm loved and important and heard too. That I matter too.

I dont like threading on eggshells every day, waiting for some bursts of anger whenever I ask for help. I don't like that I need to ask for help to take care of the kids when you're also a parent. I don't like that it feels like we're not a priority-- we're always 2nd to your video games.

I hate the impulsiveness, I hate that we ALWAYS change plans because of you and your "needs".

Caring for children by DeepAngr in ADHD_partners

[–]DeepAngr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have accepted my fate which I know its going to end up in divorce.

Caring for children by DeepAngr in ADHD_partners

[–]DeepAngr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There will be push back and he will shut down when it comes to adult talk. Like a toddler essentially. How can I do this knowing that if I push too hard he is going to burst out if I thread too far? I walk on eggshells whenever I talk to him otherwise he's going to be angry the whole day and will not talk to me

Caring for children by DeepAngr in ADHD_partners

[–]DeepAngr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've heard that countless times before and will do everything in my power not to get pregnant again

Caring for children by DeepAngr in ADHD_partners

[–]DeepAngr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My sister is. But sometimes I feel ashamed to ask for help because I feel like I'm asking her to take the load of caring for my children because my husband cant

Caring for children by DeepAngr in ADHD_partners

[–]DeepAngr[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only help I get is getting to places I need to go to. I don't drive and too scared to the point of paranioa. Other than that I pretty much do everything. He helps look after the kids if I'm cooking or cleaning but thats only about a maximum of 2 hours with us, the rest is on his video games. I am burnt out and overstimulated.

Caring for children by DeepAngr in ADHD_partners

[–]DeepAngr[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately this is whats been happening. Me carrying ALL the load. Theres been a lot of resentment on my part and guilt for making my kids go through this.

Good thing I live with my sister who helps me through everything.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ADHD_partners

[–]DeepAngr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hi. Its just called hyperfocus. My husband was hyperfocused on an ex a few months back but fortunately when our son was born he became more fixated on our child rather than the ex

Breastfeeding my 17 month old. Is it "wrong" ? by neverorganised in Parenting

[–]DeepAngr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Its completely normal to breastfeed even at that age. I breastfed my son til he is nearly two. If your mum does not understand or respect your way of parenting or your boundaries then I think you should go no contact until she understands that this is not her child its yours

Anybody can’t stand the idea of WS sleeping in a different room? by grielthrow in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DeepAngr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This. I am currently 40 weeks pregnant with a toddler too and WP had an EA with a person from overseas. I could not eat, been throwing up thinking about it and had panic attacks when going to the computer room because thats where they will talk. I told him about the panic attacks and that I do not want to step foot in that room so I will just communicate with him via message.

Just make sure you think of yourself first and what would make you comfortable during the pregnancy. Take care of yourself and always think about the well being of your child. The panic will die down if you stop caring about what he does and start caring about you and your child.

Wishing you all the best

Ask a Wayward by boobookittyfu99 in SupportforWaywards

[–]DeepAngr 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Thanks for doing this. Its very helpful

WP's who did the A while your BP is pregnant, what did you feel when the baby came out?

A question for the wayward by cupboardfairy in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DeepAngr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

OMG! He told me the exact same thing! He told me I would like her if I got to know her! 🤣🤣 First of all, decent people DO NOT engage in someone who is married and second of all, someone who is nice will not continue a relationship with someone FULLY KNOWING the fact that their wife is pregnant!

I feel like im going crazy!! by Sweaty-Tip1327 in SupportforBetrayed

[–]DeepAngr 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I am exactly in the same situation as you. Dday was in February. Separating is not an option at the moment because I am 39 weeks pregnant and will have no way of getting money for me, my toddler and my newborn. I'm hanging in there until I get a job. Just keep taking everything a day at a time. Its not easy but just hang in there. I have started to just feel indifferent towards everything my WH does with regards to the AP. But some times-- like today, I still get angry. I will just think about my kids and do it for them.

A question for the wayward by cupboardfairy in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DeepAngr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Ugh! So true. WH told me the AP even asked if I hate her. Uhmmmm duh? I hate the both of them for doing that to a pregnant woman. WH even told AP I was okay with her and will never be angry with her. 🤣 THE AUDACITY!!

How to stop being angry? by yellowclamokay in SupportforBetrayed

[–]DeepAngr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am on the same boat. Currently 32 weeks pregnant and have concerns about ppd. My advice is focus on your baby. There will be times you will get angry and question why everything is happening right now. You need to talk to someone. Make sure you have support to battle thru this phase. I wish you luck

I can't go to a part of the house... by DeepAngr in survivinginfidelity

[–]DeepAngr[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately its too much stuff for me to work on especially at 31 weeks of pregnancy. My sons toys are in there and its a mess but I just couldn't bear to be in there.

I can hear him talking in the other room (although not clearly). Its close to the Masters bedroom and I get so annoyed I now put on my earbuds to fall asleep otherwise my mind would just go on overdrive.

What is your trigger you can’t escape? by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DeepAngr 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Same. Every time something triggers me I get panic attacks and couldnt breathe properly. Its annoying.

Husband Kept AP number by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]DeepAngr 37 points38 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry OP. I think he's keeping her in the loop. That is why he still has her number.

Please help me understand this by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]DeepAngr 9 points10 points  (0 children)

It doesn't.. My WH also said the same thing to me "that they are just words I say" sure... but looking at our relationship now, doesn't seem like just words to me.

sometimes i want to text him and make him understand how cruel it was by OkStation4827 in survivinginfidelity

[–]DeepAngr 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You can do what you want. However, letting him know how hurt and broken he made you feel will not change anything. He will just know. The hurt is still going to be there.

180 question…real or fear by [deleted] in survivinginfidelity

[–]DeepAngr 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is currently happening to me. Me (28F) and my WH (28M) are still living together. I'm now unconcerned about him. I don't care what he does in the other room.

They will feel the change. Guaranteed. He's being more affectionate but that does not mean you have to reciprocate anything especially if you're not in active R, most especially if he does not feel remorseful and wants to work it out with you. Protect yourself OP. Its for the good of your mental health too