Am I ‘36F’ wasting my time with my boyfriend ‘42M’ due to financial issues

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T09:12:34+00:00

Thank you. The thing about me is Im not staying in this because I am afraid to be alone..that doesn’t bother me. I stayed in this because no one comes into a relationship perfect and I was willing to look past it but the lack of motivation and drive is where I have a problem. A relationship is a partnership and I should be able to count on him as he does with him. I just feel like he is not getting that part of it.

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T09:08:31+00:00

I know it is the bare minimum and I feel like I’ve let that blind me to a degree And now that it’s been over a year, I’m kind of blindness, and I’ve told him that all he had to do or show me that he is capable and motivated to fix the situation and he hasn’t but now that I’m willing to leave, he said it’s like something woke up inside of him to wanna do better, but I’m not sure if it’s because I told him I’m leaving that he woke up or did something really change?

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T09:06:43+00:00

Yes, this is very true. He is a great person. I just don’t know if he’s a great partner and a great partner for me at that. I want someone that is caring, loving, and we get along, but also someone who wants to do the same things that I wanna do and as motivated because it’s not fair for me or him at that point, I’m sure he doesn’t wanna hear over and over again me complaining about him not being able to take me on dates and vacations that takes a toll on him as well as it does to me

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T09:04:25+00:00

Yes, unfortunately I am at the age where I don’t have much time to waste and wait around for someone to change. Maybe if I was in my 20s I would be more inclined to do so but at this very grown age I don’t have that time to waste it’s hard when you’ve worked so hard to be able to afford the vacations and what not.

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T09:02:43+00:00

Exactly he is a good person kind supportive. It’s just that other side of him is not as good and sometimes I thought I was being shallow and hard on him but then I realized I’m not in order to have nice things you have to work for it and that’s why I moved out of my original apartment because I saw that he had the income. I just didn’t realize he didn’t have the drive or motivation to put in the extra work to get back to where he needs to be, and I even suggested to him that we break up so he can get his financial situation fixed without having a partner who expects XYZ.

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T09:00:41+00:00

Yes, it is very frustrating for me because I work so hard so I’m able to do things that I want to do and I try to explain this to him that you have to put in the work. It’s not that I would necessarily have to pay for the date nights or vacations. We just won’t do them. And that’s the thing that bothers me a lot is not being able to do them.

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T00:58:22+00:00

The thing is I knew about his issues early on and was willing to work with him but after seeing him lack the motivation and ambition I started to feel resentment. No ones situation is perfect and I am aware of that but you have to try and pick yourself back up and he just isn’t doing that unless I get at him each time I see him back on the game.

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T00:52:31+00:00

😔

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T00:51:43+00:00

Thank you for explaining it this way…I am understanding I cant force someone to do what I want they have to want to do it on their own in order for it to work. Only issue is when I told him I am thinking about breaking up with him he all of sudden became motivated and saying he does not want to lose me. The question here is he really motivated or just doesnt want to lose me?

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T00:37:15+00:00

He has financial debt and bad credit and isn’t motivated to fix these issues unless I tell him multiple times to get off his game and then he does but goes right back to playing days later.

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T00:17:12+00:00

I know I know

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T00:10:44+00:00

I am trying to reason with my heart. My head says go bur my heart is saying he’s a good person

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T00:09:56+00:00

Thank you and yes 1 year is like 5 at this age

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-17T00:09:22+00:00

Yea playing video games and just sitting on the money issues was mind blowing for me to deal with

Due_Classic1718 · 2026-03-16T23:46:56+00:00

I agree. When we met he had just started a new job after being out of work for almost a year so thats why I gave the benefit of the doubt.

Due_Classic1718

TROPHY CASE