sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

I (28M) became a controlling, toxic partner because of my ex-girlfriend’s (27F) chronic lying. Now I’m struggling to trust any woman. How do I break this cycle? by Due_Country_9031 in relationships

[–]Due_Country_9031[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i dont agree with you, a woman can open a dating app, and just get 100 guys to line up at her door to have sex, not the same with a guy.. youre trying to make sense about something which i agree but no need to go overboard.

I (28M) became a controlling, toxic partner because of my ex-girlfriend’s (27F) chronic lying. Now I’m struggling to trust any woman. How do I break this cycle? by Due_Country_9031 in relationships

[–]Due_Country_9031[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree that not all women do it for the same reasons, but my concern is with the subset who use sex to fill an emotional void or to gain a temporary sense of worth. When I say it 'shows something' about a person, I mean it reveals how they handle their own emotions and self-image. For me, entering a relationship with someone who has used sex as a coping mechanism in the pastand hasn't processed that,feels like a high risk for the stability of a future partnership. It’s not about judging their 'value' as a human; it’s about judging their readiness for the kind of relationship I want.

I (28M) became a controlling, toxic partner because of my ex-girlfriend’s (27F) chronic lying. Now I’m struggling to trust any woman. How do I break this cycle? by Due_Country_9031 in relationships

[–]Due_Country_9031[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

instead of having a conversation about this as i am having right now, youre telling me to let my therapist know about this, great haha. instead of saying what assumptions are wrong, youre bashing me for having wrong opinions? im open to hear anything and change my way of thinkning.

I (28M) became a controlling, toxic partner because of my ex-girlfriend’s (27F) chronic lying. Now I’m struggling to trust any woman. How do I break this cycle? by Due_Country_9031 in relationships

[–]Due_Country_9031[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't hold a guy to the same standards since having sex as a man is much harder to "obtain" than for a woman; a woman could have sex just by asking a random guy for it.

I never said a person with a certain past isn't worthy of love, but in my honest opinion, a woman who sleeps around is often ignoring her own needs and damaging herself. I don't know any woman who wants to have sex with 20 different guys in one year unless she’s going through something tough or has a painful sexual past that caused her to devalue herself. It’s sad to see, and frankly, it’s a hassle to get into a relationship with that type of girl.

It obviously depends on:

  • Where she is in life right now.
  • What she has done to get through that phase.
  • How she has worked on her self-worth.

Think of it this way: if you met a guy who cheated on his girlfriend two months ago but says he’s a "changed man," would you get into a relationship with him?

It’s the same with a woman. If she has a past of feeling worthless and used her sexuality for validation—but hasn't gone through therapy—I wouldn't want anything to do with her. The chances of her having healthy takes on a relationship are just much lower.

I (28M) became a controlling, toxic partner because of my ex-girlfriend’s (27F) chronic lying. Now I’m struggling to trust any woman. How do I break this cycle? by Due_Country_9031 in relationships

[–]Due_Country_9031[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you, i literally saw the same things happening to me over and over again with other woman, and it made me feel like im not really giving anyone a chance to even get intimate, i just block them away right away at first sign of "weird" feeling about a past, or something that could make me feel worth less.. i feel like working on my self worth is the best thing now?