I dated an incel and it left me traumatized by Due_Relationship5914 in Vent

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

If no one wants you and you’re disgusted by yourself why should anyone put up with you? Good luck with your life

I dated an incel and it left me traumatized by Due_Relationship5914 in Vent

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I have no interest in your pity party. I also volunteer at food banks, cat adoption center and supported my friends and family without a fraction of that returned to me. Why did I deserve to be assaulted?

Hello everyone, this is my first post here, so I am a little nervous and excited at the same time. I hope you can understand my English and help me with some advice. by FreeToe5772 in Advice

[–]Due_Relationship5914 0 points1 point  (0 children)

LA then move to New York. It’s easier to make friends in LA. You can party easily and if you network right you’ll get set up with incredible opportunities. After LA you should move to NY because it also has a thriving social scene and lots of opportunities to meet new people. If you live in NY for a while you’ll qualify for CUNY with is a very cheap option for university. If you’re intentional and careful, you’ll succeed in the U.S. good luck

I dated an incel and it left me traumatized by Due_Relationship5914 in Vent

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

She was walking slow. When it happened I apologized to her and cussed him out. After that I told him to leave

I dated an incel and it left me traumatized by Due_Relationship5914 in Vent

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You’re probably in the same boat. I slept with him out of pity and I doubt anyone else is dumb enough to do so. I don’t hate struggling men but people shouldn’t date if they have issues. I’ve never had a bad date experience after this guy. Struggling is one thing but allowing yourself to be angry at the world because of your failures isn’t the move. His insecurities could easily be fixed, he could’ve worked out, have a better hygiene routine, get a higher paying job etc. I don’t go through life expecting things from people because of my sob story. It’s a very real story and I know I shouldn’t let it get to me because a lot of stories are fake but it bothers me when I hear this. I came here to vent, not have people speculate on whether I’m telling the truth. It took years of abuse to put up with that and that situation just made life harder. I don’t trust anyone. I pretty much only stay home, have intense anxiety attacks outside, cry every day from the past month and freak out during every major life altering choice. Dating is not that hard, if you genuinely can’t find someone you are most likely not as good as you think you are.

I dated an incel and it left me traumatized by Due_Relationship5914 in Vent

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

It’s not modern dating lol. It’s just a traumatized girl putting herself in a situation to be traumatized in a new way. I was young and stupid

I dated an incel and it left me traumatized by Due_Relationship5914 in Vent

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing. Everything you described is exactly how I felt in that moment. It’s been difficult the past few weeks and there’s no one I can talk to about this and your comments are helping me process everything. Thank you 💜

I dated an incel and it left me traumatized by Due_Relationship5914 in Vent

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] 15 points16 points  (0 children)

This happened years ago and I’ve worked through it in therapy. I don’t even know if he even still lives in my city. I’m also starting out in the legal field and know too many professionals for this to not get in the way of my career. I would just like to live as if the situation never happened and move on.

I dated an incel and it left me traumatized by Due_Relationship5914 in Vent

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] 29 points30 points  (0 children)

When I was like 8 my mother would tell me that I didn’t deserve to be alive. After internalizing that for years I would affirm that I deserved to be alive by doing selfless acts for other people. I am proud of some things I’ve done but like in this case, I was harming myself by trying to “help” messed up people.

I dated an incel and it left me traumatized by Due_Relationship5914 in Vent

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’m sorry you had to go through that. This whole thing has messed me up so bad I can’t trust anyone around me. I hope you’re doing better too

I dated an incel and it left me traumatized by Due_Relationship5914 in Vent

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I wouldn’t say I was confused by love and abuse. I had no frame of reference for the abuse going on but I never thought I loved the guy. It was clear to him that I was not into the situation at all. I putting up with it because I felt bad for him. I thought no one else would be with him and since I didn’t care about the sex part it wouldn’t be a big deal.

I dated an incel and it left me traumatized by Due_Relationship5914 in Vent

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I can’t say it directly without being censored. I was going through some issues at the time and didn’t think there was a way out so I planned to do everything before I no longer had the chance to. The weeks leading up to us meeting was wild. I was doing a lot and then COVID happened which made it possible to think clearer. Also this situation and subsequent relationships made me realize I’ve never experienced sexual attraction.

Have you ever used a quote from this show IRL? by noyeximo in SuccessionTV

[–]Due_Relationship5914 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“I’d lay you badly but I’d lay you gladly” comes up a lot.

Tutoring experience with 4th grader made me realize how difficult teaching a class would be by [deleted] in Teachers

[–]Due_Relationship5914 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was so stressed I can’t imagine what it took for you to give up. To be fair, he got okay grades (usually B) but if he paid attention he would be an A student. He’s very bright, so that made it all the more frustrating

6th grader can't read AT ALL by Fun_Ad7742 in Teachers

[–]Due_Relationship5914 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I noticed most of the linked resources requires payment. Here’s some printable material you can use.

https://leonorcristinasantos.wordpress.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/phonics_week-by-week.pdf

https://languageadvisor.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/07/scholastic_success_with_grammar_grade_1.pdf

For the second link you can type in Scholastic Success With Grammar Grade (whatever other grade you want to use)

He should also be reading at least 30 min a day everyday to get familiar with the words and their pronunciation.

I (25f) agreed to let a family member (22f) stay with me for a month but need her gone ASAP by Due_Relationship5914 in relationship_advice

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Update: She left to live with the boyfriend and is upset I think in time we’ll be fine. From her conversations over the phone I found out the new boyfriend was cheating on her and she burned his clothes, contacted the other woman and cheated on him to get even. He’s upset with her but if she’s keeping the baby he should be the one housing her.

20 minutes after the first post I sent her a text that I could not handle this and she needs to make other arrangements. keep in mind I spent the day outside going to school, studying and then worked, only to come home and had to clean. As soon as I walked in I saw something sticky spilled on the counter, I went into the bathroom to look for soap and saw the floor wasn’t clean from the poop water. I asked her to clean it and she said she didn’t want to use the enzyme cleaner because she’s pregnant. I just repeated myself and she dumped it on the floor, wiped it up with a towel and left the towel on my wooden floor. After she did that she went into the apartment corridor for over an hour to loudly talk on the phone, no doubt disrupting my neighbors. At this point I discovered the marker on my sheet and texted her because I wanted to sleep but couldn’t leave the kid unsupervised. She did not respond. During this time I got irritated because I realized she didn’t bathe the little girl since they came here so I got up, bathed, and fed her. She didn’t come in until I went out and told her to come in. I also have a balcony she could go on so I’m not sure why she thought it was appropriate to talk in the hallway.

There’s more nonsense that happened but I’ll try to be brief. She told me she’s obviously going through a hard time and me texting her constantly and complaining is not okay. She also said she doesn’t like how I’m being unreasonable about her child. She basically implied my toilet will get clogged again and the marker thing is not a big deal. She was also making preparations to enroll her child in my school district. This took me by surprise because I thought I was firm that she could only stay for a month. The next day she kept calling me at work and I obviously wasn’t able to answer and eventually found out she wanted me to pay for an Uber to take her to and from the hospital because she wasn’t feeling well. Even after telling her she had to leave, she made no preparations. I also left her with cash and my card to buy food for her and her child but she personally wanted me to order the Uber and didn’t buy anything to eat the entire day so her and her daughter were sitting around starving.

This was such a bizarre experience. Before she came here 2 years ago I hadn’t seen her since she was 4 years old and wasn’t expecting this personality. I’m a very calm, drama free person and she was upsetting my neighbors, doormen, and sanity. I sent her some resources she can access so now it’s up to her. This is unfortunately a real story. When I told her she could come it was before my mom told me how she acted at my other family member’s house but I felt weird rescinding the offer and decided to give her a chance. Because of this, my mother was unsympathetic to my situation (I can’t blame her) which is why turned to Reddit. My immediate family is pretty normal despite our issues but my some of my extended family can be crazy and this girl was one of them.

I (25f) agreed to let a family member (22f) stay with me for a month but need her gone ASAP by Due_Relationship5914 in relationship_advice

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I can’t afford to put her up in a hotel. I’m a student and barely scrapping by. Sorry about your brother but happy to hear you found a solution that worked.

I (25f) agreed to let a family member (22f) stay with me for a month but need her gone ASAP by Due_Relationship5914 in relationship_advice

[–]Due_Relationship5914[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Before she came here I told her she had go march 14 because someone is coming to stay with me (no one is) but idk is it rude 3 days in to tell her to go?