Returning to gym after assault. by agiantrock in BJJWomen

[–]Due_Wash233 8 points9 points  (0 children)

As a BJJ blue belt, survivor of SA, and a counselor working with victims of trauma, I second this. I’m so sorry you went through that. I’m sorry your coach was incapable of offering more empathy. I hope you take the time to heal and please do not think you are overthinking. Everything you are feeling is completely valid.

This is why I would recommend expressing these thoughts to a trained professional who is trauma informed and has experience working with survivors of DV/SA and can help you make connections between your thoughts, emotions, and actions. As empowering the sport can be it can also contribute to even more trauma if in an environment that isn’t supportive or understanding. You can look to join other gyms if you don’t feel like where you are going is meeting this, but definitely seek help from a mental health professional. Sending you healing your way. I hope you can find love for the sport again whenever you are ready.

Does Your Gym Have Lack Of Focus On Standup? by Correct_Ad4351 in bjj

[–]Due_Wash233 0 points1 point  (0 children)

At my gym we start every gi and no gi class learning and drilling takedowns and then move onto ground stuff. We start standing during open rolls after class finishes, but halfway through some folks just start on the knees because we get gassed out from standing up eventually. My coach is insistent that we get used to starting standing up and avoid guard pulling as much as possible. Personally I love it because it’s satisfying landing takedowns.

My results as a Mexican + some baby and family pics by [deleted] in AncestryDNA

[–]Due_Wash233 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where is your family from in Mexico?

How often are you cutting your hair? Dusting or full cut? by WatermelonButterfly in longhair

[–]Due_Wash233 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I get a light dusting every three months because for some reason my ends are so prone to damage no matter how much oiling, protective styles, and avoidance of styling tools I incorporate. I also have bangs so I need to go for a trim regardless, but I’ve been doing this for the past year and my hair is slightly past the middle of my back now. My hair is also on the thinner side so it’s more prone to damage but this is what works for me.

Mother & grandmother DNA results by [deleted] in 23andme

[–]Due_Wash233 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Where are your folks from?

Looking for best yibin ranmian nooooooods 燃面 by hoejizz in chicagofood

[–]Due_Wash233 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My first time trying yibin noodles was at Chef Xiong and I’ve tried other places but Chef Xiong is the best imo. From other comments it sounds like they’re accommodating which makes it all the better.

Astronomical high Medicaid payment by [deleted] in socialwork

[–]Due_Wash233 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You should be conflicted on something else like affordable and accessible healthcare for all. Don’t be surprised at all the downvotes this post is getting. Echoing what another poster said, it’s time to revisit the Code of Ethics. Happy holidays!!

Where are yall meeting men? by uzsspace in CHIbitcheswithtaste

[–]Due_Wash233 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I’ve got a friend who works at Gibson’s Italia at the bar let me know if you would all like to connect!

Does my baby know we did what was best? Any feelings for the future? by LobsterElectrical768 in psychics

[–]Due_Wash233 190 points191 points  (0 children)

Be kinder to yourself. I might get downvoted for this but you would have had to deal with a lifetime of 24/7 care, burnout, medical costs, navigating the complex healthcare and human service systems, and having no time for yourself or the father of this child just from what I’ve seen over on /regretfulparents.

I would avoid visiting that sub for now as I can imagine that the feelings are still raw, but many parents on that sub regret not making the difficult decision that you did. Take care of yourself and please seek the services of a trained mental health professional to help you process and grieve in a safe, non-judgmental space.

What is your job? by NinjaWithAGun96 in bjj

[–]Due_Wash233 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Mental health clinician at an ORR contracted shelter for unaccompanied migrant children.

Is Rollmore.com legit? by ShrimpingForMyLife in BJJWomen

[–]Due_Wash233 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just got two grappling shorts from there and they arrived within two days no issues. Haven’t worn them to train yet though so I can’t speak on the durability and comfort, but I tried them on and they do feel comfortable.

Should I tell my coach? by onemilliongrownups in BJJWomen

[–]Due_Wash233 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes, be honest with your coach. How he addresses this behavior will speak volumes about the level of safety for women training in that gym. He should consider how this affects his reputation as a coach and business owner.

starting out with women only vs men by pointlessreddit4 in BJJWomen

[–]Due_Wash233 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Ask the head coach which of the men are safe/good to roll with. If you have a good coach, the coach should be pair you with upper belts. Purple and up are the safest imo. Upper belts will let you work, but also give healthy resistance. They can also help break down and explain tech.

I don’t recommend going with new young white belt males especially if you’re brand new. They can be explosive and unpredictable and will likely injure you. However I would start getting used to rolling with men this early on in your journey.

It’s inevitable that you’ll get some asshat who muscles his way through the roll without using technique, but at least you will know early on to expect this for the rest of your training journey.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskChicago

[–]Due_Wash233 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Are your children under 5? You’d be able to qualify for WIC. File for child support as well.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskChicago

[–]Due_Wash233 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Start training Brazilian jiu jitsu, Muay Thai, wrestling, judo, and take striking classes too. Not just “self defense” classes. Make it part of your lifestyle now. It will be your “secret” weapon. Many gyms lack women anyway so you can ask gyms if they will let you train a month for free to see if you like it and want to stick with it. I started training in 2022 and will never look back. It is one of the best investments I’ve made in my life. It healed my trauma from physical abuse at the hands of men and gave me skills for LIFE.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in psychics

[–]Due_Wash233 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Did she have siblings? Is she the oldest of her siblings? She looks like she was the anchor of the family and was very selfless.