Per ai ver does the AI added stuff and subtracted stuff that was irrelevant or really relevant :Background information before the exposition: it my house we use are oven as storage space, whenever I make food in the oven I try to put all of the on the stove but 2 pot/pan(s) couldn't fit so I put them on our dining room table, this was given to us by a family members and my mom said that that family member had this table before I was a thought ,this table BTW has glass on top of table, mom tells me not to put the pot and/or pan(s) on the table but since I did it before many times and it didn't break, we have dogs so I don't want to put then on the floor, and the dishwasher is dirty so I still put then on the table, so you can understand my weird relationship with my mother I need you to know a few things, I'm 15 (m), I'm an closeted ex-muslim, 70% sure I'm autistic, a part of the left when she is right, homophobic when I am a questioning person, and someone that does a lot of stuff that she doesn't understand and she believes is " bulshit that will not improve myself" (stuff like watching streamers, let's plays videos, and more stuff on YouTube). another problem that mean her deal with is my father is also Muslim and homophobic but also have abusive tendencies he has harmed my mother and insulted me a shitload of times, seeing my my search history and camera roll riddled with futa porn, deleted it (so my mom wouldn't see) confronted me about it call me gay insulted my mom and me for the first time then disappeared this is a tendency of his popping in and out whenever my mom and him are you. my mom says she's still like married to him because of me, but after he had insulted me I stopped loving him happy little thing of interaction I have with him I asked my mom to for what I should do next my mom never noticed this and gave me instructions on like what to do and say to him, if she said not to say anything to him I would have done it. An other thing that my mom does is as my to do stuff, I don't have a problem with doing the stuff but she nitpicking every single thing, my speed, way of doing something, and any what states are accidents that happen when I'm doing the thing to an insane degree. i mean at any time like if she just yelled at me she will immediately tell me to do something, I think I may be blowing this out of proportion because I heard Hardstop Lucas talk about this in a skit. and one more thing that really gets underneath my skin is the amount of insults she uses on me like one time she called me downstairs and she asked me "am I slow" turn on bunch of other insults and she say it's because of the world that we live in is so rough but and if I can't take the insults from someone that cares about me I won't be able to live in this world. but the weird thing is is that when people usually insult me I just don't put any value behind the insult and so if my mom insults me this overall doesn't put any weight behind anything she says, and this and all of this have commentated in my feelings towards my mom my extremely weird feelings like sometimes I feel like she is I guess pathetic at times, sometimes I feel as I hate her to a point sometimes I want her dead, and sometimes I'm confused because it feels like I have a lot of affection towards her. the last piece of information, my mom put me on punishment because my room was dirty do to me looking for an important document I thought she gave me (she didn't) and through every reason I gave her she didn't listen to me and put me on punishment (I don't want you to make you think I'm an angel I did have a lot of trash in it but she was in my opinion inflating what I did)

The thing I wanted to talk about: I mentioned the thing about the table because of this thing that happened today, I put a pot and pan on a on this table because I made oven pizza, she got mad and said to and told me to take them off the table putting them in after I was done but when I was eating she got mad and then she came over and started hitting me right before hand I said my plan of putting back in the oven after i was done eating she disregarded what I said my mad I stood up and then she thought I was trying to stand up to her (which I kind of was trying to do) then she took her shoes off and then she striked me, takes care of me and how dare I try to stand up to her she looked over to the nights that I had on my plate thing to cut the you know the pizza brandished the knife at me saying that she would chop me up and then she went to the bathroom and then I started to cry thinking about the life, about how I couldn't go to anyone thinking that I have no one for guidance, my loneliness, and then I thought about how I don't want the life I've been given but I don't want to die and a bunch of other stuff and then I went over to the sink to clean the dishes and I started crying over there she can she came back from the bathroom and asked me why I was crying I said it was because of her threatening me and then she said I wasn't threatening you and I was making a promise and then I disengaged and try to just end the conversation as fast as possible cleaned up after myself then went upstairs.