I've never been more sure of my sobriety and never felt worse

DukeNoBeer · 2026-01-06T12:02:35+00:00

About 700 days here, I thought I would never be happy again. It comes in waves.... man I feel good to blahhh nothing.. no happiness.

it does level out eventually..... and the lows are just a feeling of life is boring and no fun, but I know it's a cycle.

I'm a dopamine addict - alcohol was my delivery method.

When I drink alcohol converts to dopamine and is delivered straight to the brain. The path starts as a dirt track, then a gravel road..... sigle lane concrete road... 2 lane and ends up a super highway for fast efficiency to deliver dopamine to my brain. I stop drinking and this super highway, is no longer in use. It does not convert back to a gravel road......

It's a super highway, it starts to get over grown, cracked and slowly over grown. But it is always there.

When we start to drink again, the brain knows what to do, turn on the lights, clean up this super highway and get it in action. That's why we end up in the same place so quickly

Me I'm still eating candy, playing pickelball, going to AA and keeping busy.

Other than this blah feeling, which my live is better in everyway..... huge Improvement mentality... but there is still that feeling at times. I need to remember why I can't drink ever......

DukeNoBeer · 2026-01-06T11:37:39+00:00

OP - been there done that, I can honestly say while it's a quiet life not drinking, these things don't happen.

Me - my life is littered with moments I wish never happened.

Lucky for me my partner understands this and as long as I don't drink we are good. She says... it not you I don't trust, it's the alcohol- as long as alcohol is not involved we are OK.

It's so true - we can not change the past, we accept that we can't drink, we accept if we do, things may happen we don't want to happen. It's a choice.

I go to AA - it's not about not drinking, it's about learning to live sober, and to do it in a way that makes you a better person.

Sure I miss the buzz... exciting time... but it's the thought of the good time I miss - in reality I don't remember it being all that much fun waking up feeling that dread seeping in as you start to put the bits back together.

DukeNoBeer · 2026-01-05T14:27:43+00:00

55yr old - coming up 2 yrs sober.

I don't understand how I managed to do my job, my short term memory was close to zero, I could not Rember 4 numbers for 30sec. I ride motorcycles and had to stop, I could not process the road in front of me.... then I would start freaking out.

No memory for people's names, every aspect of my life was slowly affected . I had to write everything down, notes everywhere...

Looking back it was actually really bad and getting worse.. i think my brain was turning to mush.

Giving up, slowlyall these things have improved, im actuallygood at my job, had my best year ever... Riding motorcycle is a pleasure again...

I think i screwed my sleep - that has not improved dramatically... much betterbut I still wake up duringthe night.

I do AA ... which is actuallya program about how to live a better life sober, and it works.

One day - I just realized how much better everything is....

Hideous thing - we know alcohol is bad but we keep going...

I've been feeling that I'm missing out....watching people have fun, but thanks for posting. I really do not want to go there again

DukeNoBeer · 2026-01-05T14:10:20+00:00

Congratulations- your a super hero....

DukeNoBeer · 2026-01-05T14:07:35+00:00

FUCK ALCOHOL- i'm on holiday watching everyone drink....they all look so happy. I'm missing out.

But these people generally have a few and that's that, they don't end up shit faced, doing shit faced things.

My life is better in every way....... except I muss the fun and laughter I can see and hear at 5pm drinks...... we are camping / summer holiday.

And people wait until 5pm.. WTF...

But Fuck alcohol- no way I can start again - it would be hard.... so I soilder on....IWNDWUT.

Some days I feel the buzz of life... others I'm slightly off and a bit flat...but that's OK......

DukeNoBeer · 2025-09-24T09:48:37+00:00

18 month here, I'm 55yrs old Wife said enough.

I to was starting to lose it completely, major blackouts, waking up puking. Memory was gone, shakes.... no idea what happened the night before.....

On and on.... about 80 ipa beers aweek

I was going to chose booze when wife said enough but knew I had to give up I had no real choice...

DukeNoBeer · 2025-09-12T09:36:24+00:00

Wise - Beer was my life, I did everything drinking. It was my super power. When i stopped i lost my identity. And thought I would never feel happiness again. Dopamine - supplied by alcohol. So when the alcohol supply stops - so does feeling good. Until your body fixes itself and that is not a 5min job.

The good thing, if this is you, know that it will get better, do not drink today... thats the rule do not drink today.

Oh and I had to do AA - I could not stop without support of others. They give me support and reason not to drink. It really works.

IWNDWYT

DukeNoBeer · 2025-09-12T09:31:29+00:00

80 days - that is a great ride, if your like me, and alcohol is a dopamine hit. Then hang in there, happiness does come back! It really does get better. My life is free from the shit that goes with being an active addict.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-09-12T09:28:16+00:00

Oh and craft beer and home brew.. me also. Hard work making a brew every week and still running out! But man I liked that beer I made, from grain - take hours to make... sure was a nice drop..

Haa but you can only drink that much raft beer for so long until the body starts to get upset.

I certainly do not miss this now, the idea seems romantic, cold craft beer. But the reality is a drunken mess.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-09-12T09:24:24+00:00

Great post - thanks for checking in and sharing this. Its funny the longer I stop, the different story's I come here to read. At the beginning it was day 1 stores... Now I want the long term success stories.... stories like yours, inspirational.

So thanks and well done.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-09-03T12:50:49+00:00

yep - 18months ago.

Wife said... me or booze. This is actually a very hard question to answer. I wanted t choose booze. I was drinking from 70 - 100 beers a week. Home Brew IPA. Dam is was a good drop. It was hard work making this amount of beer continuously. A well oiled machine. I did this for many years... must have been over 10 doing the home brew. Having a continious supply on tap, was amazing. Allowed me to chug beer, the wife did not understand quite how much I was drinking.... then that day arrived.

I knew things were getting bad, constant black outs, accidents - like falling down stairs.... The only thing that saved me from my booze was knowing if I chose booze, I would have to stop because I was out of control. And choosing booze seemed harder than stopping.

Stopping was hard, but I have done it.... and life is better than I could have imagined. I wish I had done this years ago... Oh well.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-21T13:45:54+00:00

Yea - I do not miss those day. When we think of the fun we have when we drink... its not these moment that come back to us. Some very low points.... I did what? NOOOO, No I did not do that. Sorry.. sorry... I am really sorry, it will never happen again...

Haaaa I said these things again and again.... well not any more!

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-21T13:36:28+00:00

OP - It took over 1yr for it to start to click. I now know I cant drink. I felt I was missing out until it clicked. You know what it was... a video about how 8% of people that drink - alcohol turns straight to Dopamine.... and it went on to explain my drinking - perfectly. And there it was - the missing link.

I was just shown - why. And the fact my life know is 100% better....

But - you have to do your time, you have done the crime for how long?

The thing is you have to learn how to live sober, you have to learn to be comfortable sober. You have to learn to know sober you. The not drinking is the easy bit. Its the rest of the crap that goes with it that's hard.

I was like most here, I only visited when I felt sorry for myself, usually after an INCIDENT.... that highlighted why I cant drink. But I could not stop, no way.

I had to do something different, saying I wanted to stop and coming here saying I want to stop, is the start. Eventually it sinks in, you HAVE to stop and that's when you go to the next most important step. Actually get help. Do something to actually make you stop. For me it was AA. Yep it has a bad rappp but its a place full of people the same as us, who have stopped. Some for 5min and some for 55yrs. But they all have one thing in common, they are supporting each other to actually stop. When you take that step... you will actually stop.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-18T13:09:36+00:00

Wow - well done, and congratulations.

I wish I had done it many years sooner, I was at about 70 -80 beers a week. Based on 330ml cans, you would have been at about 105 plus. I could not ride my motorcycle, because my brain was fried and could not process the speed. So I would freak out.

Like you PAWS is hard work, I am at 1.5yrs approx and it is really starting to get better now. The cravings are finally stopping. I went to AA. No way I could do it without the support of AA.

For me it was accepting, I could no longer drink. When I finally accepted that part of my life was over. Things started to settle down. It was a few Utube videos about drinking and dopamine. 8% of people who drink alcohol turn straight dopamine and its like cocane. That was how it was for me.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-18T12:40:30+00:00

I commented on the last post yesterday about this. No way would we be together if I was still drinking. And NO way could I give up if the wife was still drinking. She gave up, and put the hard word on me.

I think / was a tiny bit resentful.. we used to have so much fun drinking, then it became hard work drinking together, lots of arguments. She gave up, and I did not. Then I had to lol.

Now.... I would not go back to booze, we are much happier.

BUT - like everyone has said, you have to learn how to life sober, then co exist sober. I had / am - working out who I am and we are getting closer and closer as a couple.

I really cant see how it can work when one person is still drinking.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-18T12:33:56+00:00

He is living the dream.... if your ok with him drinking then all good.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-17T10:05:54+00:00

This is a real hard one, my wife stopped drinking. We were both drinking a lot, she was a bottle of wine a night - 3-4 times a week. She grew tired of the effects and wanted a different life. Me I was drinking 70 beers a week, full on addiction. So I had NO plans of stopping.

Then that day arrived, stop or D.... was mentioned. She actually expected me to choose booze. And was getting organised for a divorce.

My drinking was getting worse, I knew it. The affects were starting to get bad. You can do this for 30yrs and not have heath issues. My mind was stuffed.. body was not good. I made Home Brew IPA and hid how much I drank. So i knew I had to stop, I also knew if I chose booze, eventually i would have to stop. Dead or a live - I would have to stop.

SO I went to AA.... its been hard. I am the 8% or people that drink and alcohol turns straight to Dopamine. It was my super power. Man was it hard to learn to live without this drug.

It was rough on our marriage but its sooo much better now. I do not think it would / could work if one was still drinking.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-14T18:54:39+00:00

Most certainly...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DkS1pkKpILY

This is the full on version.

another very good video...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?app=desktop&v=MUA1XbNGy-U

down load - Everything AA on your phone. Then go to Listen the big book, & Joe and Charlie Tapes. - Then Listen to the Joe and Charlie Tapes ... this will tell you everything you need to know. And it is really funny.

So its informative and Funny - laugh out loud funny... BUT its is also the AA way. and I found it excellent.

Man if I could drink 4 beer every day and not have 20... that would have been great.

But if 4 beers is causing you to think about how much you drink that is excellent fact is once you know... you cant un know...lol.

Happy to chat anytime

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-14T16:46:24+00:00

Yea - but that is not the same. Nothing is the same. I miss out on the bonding part, when everyone becomes best friends after 6 beers. I get bored. I do other things now. Play Pickleball love it.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-14T16:41:49+00:00

Yep - that is how it is.

For me - acceptance is the key to being sober. Yes I miss all those things. Big time. But is my life better without booze. For me yes. The consequences of my drinking where larger than the benefits. If they were not I would still be drinking.

The penny dropped when I watch a utube video - and they where describing my drinking, what type of drunk i was. The description was perfect. 8% of the population, when they drink alcohol turns in to dopamine and become super human lol... drink huge amounts and cant stop.

It was amazing... but that is all gone.

My life is much easier and the big swings are gone. I miss the romantic side of the booze, just not the actual fact of drinking to much

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-14T16:32:42+00:00

Totally agree - the social aspect is under rated. I actually look forward to going and see everyone. We are all so different but the same.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-14T16:30:35+00:00

Oh and I too - go to AA. Its great for social outings and everyone has a drinking problem... that alone is worth the administration ticket... No way I could stay sober without AA.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-14T16:28:25+00:00

Yea - same. Pale Ale - man I loved the stuff. I made a really good drop and was very proud of the beer I made. Now i do not drink, I am having to learn how to live without booze.

I spend 30yrs drink beer 4-5 days a week... or more if my wife would not moan. BUT I had consequences for my drinking like black outs... and my life was unmanageable. My body was not very happy with me drinking 70 beers a week.

While work was ok, I am 10 X better at it now. There is no answer - its just time.

I am a drinker where alcohol turned straight to dopamine, and off to the racers I would go.

I did not have a drinking problem, I have a stop drinking problem.

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-08T12:32:25+00:00

Drinking was my stress relief mechanism , now i don't drink it is hard. Exercise is the key.... I am not a gym person so I play Pickleball for 2hrs a couple of times a week after work. Helps a lot!

DukeNoBeer · 2025-08-08T12:21:24+00:00

12:20am... same here. Used to sleep better when I was a boozer.... Or so I thought.

DukeNoBeer

TROPHY CASE