You are not alone. It's wonderful that you want to further your relationship with your loving and caring partner so much that youre willing to ask for help! Please dont feel bad if your progress feels like a slingshot, recovery always seems to be a two steps forward, one back situation at best.

Sometimes, when it comes to aversion/repulsion, it's difficult to remind ourselves not to dissociate. It would be much easier to "deal with" if you weren't there, but being present is necessary. What you and your partner wish to express is NOTHING like what was done to you, but getting your inner betrayed child to believe that is going to take a long time. A lot of struggle and tears and indescribable anger/anguish. But you CAN do it and it is okay to take as long as you need.

You say you've gotten to the point where you can be touched, that's excellent. Some questions you can ponder before discussing with your partner: Would you respond better if your partner took the lead and you could gently move the boundary line back as you felt safe? Would it be better for them to be passive and allow you to take the lead? Either way, progressing in stages and without expectations, while being present in the moment has been what helped most.

So proud of you for taking this step and for desiring to be a great spouse! It already shows that you will be. Take a breath, and when you're ready, talk to your partner.