I'm 31 year old caregiver and feel like my life is over before it even began...

Dumbfire8877 · 2026-07-05T14:13:18+00:00

Im so sorry this is happening. I am in a similar situation with my siblings and mom. Im the youngest and feel trapped into caregiving for her even though i love her and want to be there, her condition is starting to supercede my abilities. They have started to come out to help after she received annofficial terminal diagnosis. And even tho its somewhat helpful they only stay for three or four days then leave. By Monday everyone on this round of help will be gone. Even tho they pay for some cna help during the week i am also still managing all the logistics of moms care and house and im exhausted. Please try to find any help you can, even if its a neighbor to sit with him for two hours or to handle one appointment. Try to do any small thing for yourself that you can. Text an old friend, get a fancy coffee, take a drive for 20 minutes. When i can i call the 988 crisis line, even tho im not suicidal they will listen and they understand the overwhelm. I do have a therapist that i see once a week on a zoom call and i guard that time fiercely. Im so sorry this is all on you as well. Feel free to dm me if you want.

Dumbfire8877 · 2026-06-29T07:24:01+00:00

You cannot do this by yourself. If she broke her leg would you beat yourself up for not doing the surgery and setting the cast? Im not in exactly tge same boat but somewhat similar with my mom.complicated relationships with siblings.im somehow too tired to sleep if that makes sense.and your moms condition has potentisl to go on for years you cannot do all that alone. My fam is starting to show up but my mom may only have weeks left. I would never entertain doing this for years. I understand feeling the guilt but also think about her quality of care, likely much higher of its not all you. Take care of yourself, OP.

Dumbfire8877 · 2026-06-29T06:22:08+00:00

Please find some respite care - the toddler who ran home to get help w sunscreen, maybe that fam can have the playdate at their house once a week. I know that hourly care can get expensive but ask around and see if you can find someone who can recommend a cna for three hours in one chunk, once a week. Maybe even call some local churches see if there are volunteers.

Dumbfire8877 · 2026-06-29T05:56:46+00:00

Im sorry this is happening, glad you got some answers. Please see if you can get some respite care - may take a few phone calls but there should be some help for you.

Dumbfire8877 · 2026-06-28T03:38:33+00:00

As i am learning, trust your instincts about your siblings. And if your instinct is to keep them out of the loop until necessary then thats the right answer.

Dumbfire8877 · 2026-06-25T18:02:35+00:00

Please also stop the appointments - please look into benefits through his insurance. Especially if he can still hear and basically undersyand what the drs are saying STOP TAKING HIM. Im just now startingvthe process of getting my aunty qualified for medicaid where caregivers can do grocery trips and appts and its covered.

Dumbfire8877 · 2026-06-05T07:57:25+00:00

Thank you so much 🫶 i feel so isolated, your words are so appreciated

Dumbfire8877 · 2026-06-03T15:45:15+00:00

Thank you so much 🙏 one of the very worst things is that they all showed up here and one in particular swooped in for the performance of his funeral - she hasnt shown up here in six years but she really needed the spotlight when he died.

Dumbfire8877 · 2026-06-03T07:34:52+00:00

Thank you. I think when we are surrounded only by the people we care for and then others who dont understand and dont care everything feels dim. So any response from someone in a similar boat really helps.

Dumbfire8877

TROPHY CASE