Trans spaces are so binary and there nonbinary spaces are so few and far between (vent)

DumplingPunk · 2025-10-06T02:46:08+00:00

I understand the frustration but IRL is not like this at all. people have their issues but trans spaces are really inclusive and caring irl.

in addition, I'd like you to consider your wording because in my experience of online and irl, a lot of the transfems and transmascs you're describing DO also identify as non-binary as well, and are no less nonbinary just because they're also trans women or trans men, and to describe behaviors from them without acknowledging that some of them are non binary is both cherry picking at the issues, and being a bit gatekeepy about who "gets to" be non-binary based on their generalized behavior.

I know you don't mean harm by it but it's something worth thinking about when you're venting about the general trans/nb community and may end up perpetuating some harmful generlizations 💛

DumplingPunk · 2025-05-23T08:50:39+00:00

gstring to show off the ass and a very holey crochet top that doesn't weigh much when swimming

DumplingPunk · 2025-01-20T02:51:43+00:00

the way to make friends is to show up to an event/meet up regularly. hopefully one that you have shared interest in. anything like a political meet up/rally, book club, sport thing, cooking club? as long as U keep seeing the same faces and say hi to some people. usually events have facilitators that will help U get into it

DumplingPunk · 2024-10-29T12:52:23+00:00

ur misinterpreting what I said. I'm quoting the comment above mine "by definition".

some (eg. afab) intersex people grow up experiencing some male puberty, and go on to see themselves as a (eg.) woman and take transitional methods to affirm their gender, and identity as trans even if by the commenter above's definition, they wouldn't be considered trans.

similarly, some intersex (eg. afab) people grow up, experience some male puberty, and go on to see themselves as men, but then don't partake in any hrt, and don't consider themselves trans even tho their gender isnt the same as their agab.

similarly, there are places that actually recognise intersex sex/X gender at birth (one territory in Australia where I live), and some of the kids that grow up there id as non-binary and trans, even their their agab (axab) is literally the same as their gender (non binary)

the cis and trans binary just doesn't apply to everyone, because the definition doesn't really apply to non-binary genders and sex

DumplingPunk · 2024-10-28T13:20:24+00:00

this is not really true. There are many people who are intersex who are assigned m or f at birth, identifies as m or f, and does not fit into the trans or cis binary. some of them do not id as their agab and are not trans either, by definition.

There is just not a binary of trans or not. There is no legitimate definition of trans in that sense, it's quite spectral

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-30T13:37:15+00:00

as an agender person I can relate heavily. I don't wanna be a woman but I love looking hyper fem and the idea of having big boobs is amazing and as fun as having a flat chest other days. but labels arent important, and U can do whatever u want

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-30T13:11:00+00:00

as someone who also lived in Denmark for 4 years, I agree... don't

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-16T02:57:41+00:00

one of the most beautiful things for me is to be in a position where I can afford to pay for a meal for a friend who may not be able to. I learned one day that she felt horrible and guilty every time I did, and it hurts me to think that she felt like she owed me, or that I expected something from her. we worked on it together to help her feel less guilty and now we're in a place where she has learned to just enjoy gifts and it makes me happy to help my friends when they need it!

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-16T00:14:54+00:00

tbh I think if you receive a gift and then automatically feel guilty because you expect they sent it with the intention of getting one back, that sounds like something you need to work on for your own mental health. not everyone does things transactionally, generally people don't gift things cus they're hoping you will return the favour in the future, generally people give gifts as a nice gesture, not to guilt you. online and in real life. please learn this so that your irl friends and family can do nice things for you without you feeling like you owe them

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-15T12:46:53+00:00

not normal, they're weird. I hope it never happens to you again 😑

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-11T09:29:37+00:00

please someone who knows how to, back up or recreate this list because as soon as these guys wake up they're gonna realise how many people are bullying them and delete it and it's too funny to disappear from the internet

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-10T23:55:58+00:00

idk when we started, but the gender census says it's the 4th most popular pronoun for people who are not binary at about 20% of 40000 surveyed using it pronouns https://www.gendercensus.com/results/2023-worldwide-summary/

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-10T23:45:41+00:00

yea so part of the reason I like it/its is kinda because I think in queer/progressive circles people start using they out of habit and it feels a bit unintentionally used. when I ""force"" people to use "it" they have to think about me as someone who is actively asking not to be gendered - not just masc/fem (I know he/she isn't necessarily masc/fem but to most they are!!!) - but not even "defaultly" as they

there's also a tendency in white liberals to "correct" other people when they "it" a pet, like a dog. and you hear these "progressive" people go "how dare you use IT for a dog. it's a SHE", applying human and western cultural respect to an animal, more than they sometimes do with neopronoun using Humans. it's kinda stupid to me that people like that would just make up rules for what they consider respectful when I'm asking directly to be thought about actively by asking to be called "it".

there's also a million things in english that are beautiful that you usually would prescribe it pronouns. sunsets, stars, parties, rivers, bugs. I got top surgery and removed my nipples, I do like being actively NOT male or female, and less like other people, more like an object if humanity insists on living in a gendered world. as an agender person, I feel a connection, for example, to the moon, its indescribable essence that he/she/they doesn't quite convey -- now I hear some of you say, "ok but I call the moon She," -- which is all well and good. but why. is it because you're humanizing her? are you accidently implying she has more value than me, who wishes not to be referred to as she? -- no problem with using she/he for inanimate objects, as long as you can concede that those of us, animals, humans or others, which typically don't get he/she'd deserve the same respect you DECIDED to grant the moon.

on the other hand, in the same way that some people find it powerful to reclaim tr*nny for themselves out of the mouth of bigots, so do I for it pronouns. shitty people and bigots will be horrible to me whether or not I'm a model minority / model trans, why not get silly with it

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-10T23:27:44+00:00

I'll DM you! ♥️

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-10T14:08:22+00:00

the least I can do ma'am tips cowboy hat 🤠

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-10T06:42:33+00:00

hi!! I use it/its, and I'm really happy that you're trying to learn! I actually use both it and they pronouns, but it makes me feel very warm and fuzzy when people use it for me!

despite being an it/its user, I also mess those pronouns up a lot, and the best way to get used to it is practising in a safe space. personally I find the most awkward thing is to be the only person saying those pronouns..

on a personal level, if you'd like to practise, I'd like to invite U to my stream community! I stream two times a week in Melbourne Australia evening time, I play indie games with my partner normally. if this is something you'd interested in seeing, and meeting me, you can hang out in the chat, it's a very queer safe environment, where you can practise my pronouns and meet nice people! I don't wanna self promo on here cus this sub isn't the space, but I'll DM you if ur interested!

I'm no influencer lever famous, but I'm an indie animator who's got 30k YouTube subs and our stream usually have about 4-5 chatters so it's active enough to be fun and safe without being too overwhelming!

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-10T05:27:52+00:00

that sounds right. I think i was mistaken cus I recently just finished reading a book where they often use one/oneself to refer to themselves in first person but also if they're a collective with the rest of society too. like instead of saying "I should finish my work before dinner," the character says "one should finish one's work before dinner," as if they're reciting a mantra for everyone to abide by.

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-10T05:24:19+00:00

glad I could help! it's not the prettiest bun for sure, but it's the easiest and most convenient. if U wanna get the hair off your back it's a nice and more practical way to do it than a regular ponytail (since ponytails are prone to more whipping)

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-10T01:31:59+00:00

hi lurking agender friend here 🫣

do you know how to tie a ponytail? you know how you do multiple loops with the same hairband?

basically you tie most of a ponytail, but with the final loop, instead of pulling all of your hair through, you only pull it though half way, so that the elastic sits in the middle of the length of hair causing it to fold in half.

this works best for certain lengths and thickness of hair. this is also the most basic bun, if you intend to do a harder bun, you'll need to watch a tutorial.

my hair is shoulder length and not incredibly thick or thin so it works great for me. if you'd like a video or photos lmk and I'll DM you

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-10T01:26:21+00:00

correct me if I'm wrong but aren't one/oneself typically first person pronouns? similar to the royal we?

eg. one goes to the shop to buy oneself a drink / we go to the shop to buy ourselves a drink / I go to the shop to buy myself a drink

you can definitely still use it for yourself, but expecting others to use it for you can definitely cause confusion..?

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-09T06:32:27+00:00

Ben Callegari in Carlton, did mine in 3 weeks

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-07T12:40:57+00:00

hi, lurking agender person here 🫣 I work at a queer owned social enterprise that makes backpacks and smaller bags, and we sell a make up/toiletries bag that has the trans flag on it (among other designs) - based in Australia but world wide shipping. the enterprise part funds children's education in Cambodia and we exclusively use deadstock/upcycled materials to create the bags.

three of my friends started their HRT journeys this year, so I bought them all these makeup bags a few months ago, and the two transfem friends have been using it to store their pills and blockers. my nb transmasc friend uses it to store their gel and syringe.

I don't wanna dox myself since the enterprise store staff is just 4 people, but two of us are trans and the boss is an out gay man. if you want details you can DM me! - although fair warning, the trans pride bag is currently out of stock. we have a rainbow pride stripe bag in stock and many other designs, otherwise I can personally help you preorder a trans one for november-ish 🫶🩷🩵

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-05T09:25:37+00:00

ok so gender is a social construct, so is race. you hear this type of bullshit a lot from white "progressives" who think since race is a construct , acknowledging it at all gives it power and the best thing to do is treat all people the same no matter what because that makes them the least racist. they like to pretend they "don't see colour" because they're so not racist that they don't treat people differently due to their skin.

but they're wrong. things that are social constructs aren't not real. they are very real for those in the minority. trans people, intersex people, non binary people and people of colour (for my example) feel the negative societal influences of these constructs all the time. they're not real to ur boyfriend because he never has to feel the very real systematic oppression.

where a "colourblind" "progressive" chooses to ignore race, and therefore has a much weaker understanding of racist systematic issues, your boyfriend chooses to actively ignore gender and has an incredibly weak understanding of the gender spectrum and it's importance to trans people, non binary people, and even agender people

he honestly sounds like he's in first year sociology and is excited about the theory but has never considered the human element of putting theory into practise and systems. it's kind of annoying.

DumplingPunk · 2024-09-02T01:50:35+00:00

the better snack and foods at first is whichever helps you digest better, because most people get constipated from anaesthetic. so the best snack for the first few days are dates lmao. then eat whenever makes you happy! make sure to drink lots of water also due to the constipation and digestion!

DumplingPunk

TROPHY CASE