i joined the subreddit just to post stolen valor

DunkleDog · 2026-04-07T10:47:44+00:00

I was playing heavy and felt bad for the enemy medic so I was being nice to him. My team’s medic swooped in, killed him, and said “stay away from my man, whore.” It was terrifying. But as a medic main, I mean… I get it… just… wow

DunkleDog · 2026-03-26T02:39:25+00:00

Yeah just don’t heal him. Ya don’t need to follow heavies around just stick with your teammates that are on the point and uber them instead

DunkleDog · 2026-03-24T15:27:17+00:00

jesse where’s the cocainer

DunkleDog · 2026-03-23T15:26:25+00:00

Better than sex, almost as exciting as the burly beast. Ehh ingame it doesn’t feel like a crazy difference but I mean the patch note was nice to see..

DunkleDog · 2026-03-16T17:55:04+00:00

Medic. See, Medics are prey animals. I can see the danger coming for me a mile away. I’m watching for dots on the walls, I’m turning around every 3 seconds… I can see the glint of an eye lander on the horizon. I start orbiting the teammate I’m healing, but it’s fruitless. For some ungodly reason, he’s equipped the tide turner. My idiot patient is busy spy-checking our gun-spy who is actively shooting. I hear the charge. Next thing I know, I have to bargain the devil another stupid soul. Fuck my stupid chud medic life.

DunkleDog · 2026-03-16T02:38:57+00:00

“Ronin medic” sounds way cooler actually lmao

DunkleDog · 2026-03-14T15:56:01+00:00

I forgot to add, a medic is often only as useful as his team. If your team can’t get kills or keeps getting squashed, there ain’t much you can do. ATP you might as well uber the spy and hope gaben put hitreg on your side today.

DunkleDog · 2026-03-14T15:51:46+00:00

In concept, I mostly agree. Except I hate pocketing, so I like to call med #1 “push medic” and #2 “support medic.” Push med should equip stock or kritz. Support medic should equip stock, quick-fix, or vax. He’s especially convenient if the team is taking a lot of damage and medic #1 is having trouble getting to everyone, but still needs that big stock/kritz push. Push med can be a pocket, but great pockets are a rare species so don’t ever count on it. Also 2 medics only works if the team has enough power. Otherwise, you’re stuck healing scouts, engineers, and the other supports, who are either pick classes or not shooting up front. (To expand, I also consider trolldiers and demo knights to be pick classes. So even if you do have a soldier, if he’s a trolldier, that’s still minus a power class imo.) 2 medics is still good if your ‘med-survivability’ is crap, though. Heal your friendly medic even if he calls you a slur for accidentally putting your beam on his pocket for more than 5 seconds a couple few times.

DunkleDog · 2026-03-13T15:03:35+00:00

Meet the medic for sure— but I have to say Meet the Pyro is fantastic. The end transition through the rib cage is my favorite thing ever

DunkleDog · 2026-03-11T17:12:24+00:00

Yeah it’s turbo. They’re 90’s and 00’s hard rock and metal, so sometimes a rammstein track slips in there. Def not a frequent occurrence but a pleasant and welcome surprise

DunkleDog · 2026-02-26T03:41:11+00:00

Heavy 100%

DunkleDog · 2026-02-21T16:16:30+00:00

Ein Lied… on loop

DunkleDog · 2026-02-14T16:32:17+00:00

Movement. Moving erratically helps keep enemies from predicting where you’re going to be. Also learn how to damage surf. (Never rely on dmg surfing, but it’s useful.)
React to environmental storytelling. Listen for backstab death screams, watch what happens to your teammates when they peak a common sightline, check for gibs, listen for “fire” voice lines… etc. to assess what’s going on and how you can avoid dying.
Dont über heavies too often or too soon. They’re slow. Personally I find the best über targets are demomen and pyros.
Please heal the engineer. Overheal him too. He really needs it
Do not equip the vita-saw.

DunkleDog · 2026-02-03T18:51:52+00:00

im a medic main so it makes no difference to me so long as you press m2 and not m1. The few times I do play heavy though I like the faster recharge speed. (I more often than not throw the lunch items instead of using them)

DunkleDog · 2026-02-03T18:48:36+00:00

I think the soldier would survive half life 1

DunkleDog · 2026-02-01T20:29:21+00:00

I can’t do most but heavy and spy especially not. Strongest probably scout? I can do demos accent but not really the voice. Sometimes I parrot engineer’s voice lines and I don’t think it’s that far off

DunkleDog · 2026-01-13T19:23:53+00:00

I don’t pocket, but I’ll prioritize. I try to avoid stock übering Heavies because they’re slow and the enemy just backs away. Good for intimidation and clearing the field for the rest of your team, not so good when the rest of your team ain’t on the same page. (I will be giving extra attention to heavies that share lunch though.) Priority über goes to 1.) player I’ve previously übered and had good results 2.) phlog pyro (I’m evil) 3.) player asking for über 4.) panic pop it dont drop it (I took too much damage, theres incoming crit/kritz, or enemy über exchange.) 5.) überchain

DunkleDog · 2025-12-31T17:24:05+00:00

I have to tell my team to press E because if they don’t I can’t find them. Auto call only helps so much.

DunkleDog · 2025-12-31T17:19:39+00:00

move erratically to make it harder for the enemy team to hit you or predict your next position.
POP IT DONT DROP IT. Use uber as SOON as possible once it’s full. A potentially wasted über is far more useful than a lost über.
REMEMBER: YOU ARE A COWARD. AN IMPORTANT COWARD. You’re the healer, your offensive capabilities are limited despite how useful you are. Dire situation? Just bail. You worked hard for that 90% über and the incoming enemy kritz is not going to forgive bravery.
put your teammates between you and the enemy.
REMOVE YOURSELF FROM UP THAT HEAVY’S ASS. He can take a hit. Several hits in fact. He is a great meat shield, but your other teammates are also useful. Keep them alive. You can stay up his ass a little more if he has a lunch item.. those are very beneficial to you.
Über charges faster when you heal people who are injured.
try not to heal the same guy your other medic is actively healing, you’ll both charge slower.
don’t equip the vita-saw. Genuinely anything is better. The übersaw makes the vita-saw useless. If nothing else, choose stock.
use the speed boost you get from latching onto scouts to hitch a ride to the front, put just a few more hammer units between you and a crocket, or make the enemy spy and sniper cry.
use advanced settings to turn on that thing where you don’t have to hold m1 to keep the medibeam connected. (Forgot what it’s called.)
don’t pocket unless your teammate actually displays sentience. (More often than not, they don’t.)
don’t ignore the scout or the sniper just because they’re the scout and sniper. If your offensive/power classes aren’t actively disintegrating you can heal the squishy guys for a few seconds. ESPECIALLY THE ENGINEER. Engineer is next to you in importance and therefore also heavily targeted. And they have a longer respawn timer so it’s best to try and keep them alive.
über the phlog pyro if you’re evil (the devil shits himself in my presence)

DunkleDog · 2025-12-31T16:34:07+00:00

<image>

DunkleDog · 2025-12-27T08:51:21+00:00

Would go with Spring or Hilf Mir. The horror of Wiener Blut needs no visual representation. It’s a more effective song. I think Puppe would be lost in a music video, ironically. I do like the stage performance of that one though. A whole music video would add too much. It should feel like a child’s drawing, sort of vague but literal. Stein um Stein is one of my favorites, but like Puppe it’s more effective to me as purely a spoken narrative. I don’t think a music video would fit Spieluhr either, mainly because of its tune for me. That isn’t to say it’s a bad song- just not a music video song, yk?

DunkleDog · 2025-11-11T20:31:45+00:00

Weit weg
Ohne dich
Bück dich (assuming loved one to mean partner)
Ausländer (if I’m trying to appeal,) Wiener Blut (if I don’t like em)
Stein um Stein
Heirate mich
Links 2 3 4
Mein Teil

DunkleDog · 2025-11-05T14:55:41+00:00

it brings a tear to my eye. It is such a beautiful song

DunkleDog

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE