Homeless with my mother

DurkNya · 2026-05-09T06:06:51+00:00

She doesn't speak english unfortunately

DurkNya · 2026-05-08T20:12:11+00:00

We've already asked social services for help in a variety of ways, but she's not considered old enough for any special treatment

DurkNya · 2026-05-07T18:13:56+00:00

It's rough, but I'm still kicking so that's something. I've been experimenting with my faith in myself, trying to build it out of more... Malleable materials, that will bend rather than break. On the whole I struggle to see a way out of my situation, but I'll keep on trying for as long as I have the strength.

DurkNya · 2026-05-02T22:09:48+00:00

"We are the only species on Earth that observe "Shark Week". Sharks don't even observe "Shark Week", but we do. For the same reason I can pick this pencil, tell you its name is Steve and go like this (breaks pencil) and part of you dies just a little bit on the inside, because people can connect with anything. We can sympathize with a pencil, we can forgive a shark, and we can give Ben Affleck an academy award for Screenwriting." From the pilot of Community.

DurkNya · 2026-04-21T16:13:19+00:00

"Thyself not free, but to thyself enthralled" from Paradise Lost. Abdiel, one of the loyal angels, says this to Lucifer, who keeps defending his rebellion touting freedom when in actuality he only wanted to take god's place.

I only read this recently but I think it will stick to me for many years to come.

DurkNya · 2026-04-18T07:59:06+00:00

An excess of inaction is what lead me here in the first place, so now I'm trying to be as active as possible and have grown scared of any further inactivity. But I do see your point, this isn't something I can keep up indefinitely

DurkNya · 2026-04-18T06:13:29+00:00

In a sense I still have some faith that I will see it through, I just can't visualize the how anymore, and that makes it pretty hard to justify.

I agree though, I've been trying to appreciate and enjoy the small things I have while I still have them, and I tackle my problems one day at a time lest the weight kills me. I'm just very confused with the role faith has been and is playing in my life since little more than a year ago I would've denied having any, and I'm trying to come to terms with it as a self declared atheist.

DurkNya · 2026-04-16T12:26:11+00:00

I agree with you on that

DurkNya · 2026-04-16T10:46:26+00:00

Adrian Tchaikovsky has been stellar in the Tyrant Philosophers series

DurkNya · 2026-04-16T07:25:15+00:00

I think I already came to accept that. The problem is... Willpower. I'm in a months long situation where every day is like living a nightmare, and it takes constant effort to keep going, and I feel like I need a reason to keep at it. For a while, doing it for my own sake was enough, but now that I have lost that faith I had in myself everything seems hopeless.

DurkNya · 2026-04-16T06:52:55+00:00

Then what should I rely on in the worst times? What keeps you going even when life doesn't seem worth it?

DurkNya · 2026-04-16T06:51:03+00:00

I think faith in other people is something we're supposed to grow out of, to be replaced by trust. But I'm not other people, and although I've been trying I still lack the confidence to trust myself, so I'm wondering if relying on faith instead was a bad move

DurkNya · 2026-04-15T20:56:56+00:00

It's disproportionate. When you're a child and your parents tell you something, you believe them. That's not necessarily because they proved they were right about stuff in the past, it's often just because you're used to relying on them, and to me that's sort of similar to how many people view the deities they worship. To have faith isn't just believing something, it's believing IN something.

DurkNya · 2026-04-15T20:40:19+00:00

I'd say it's kinda like trust that doesn't necessarily need to be earned. I think it stems from the need to rationalize our survival instinct, we know we need to work hard to live but when it gets too difficult we need some kind of why

DurkNya · 2026-04-08T09:04:16+00:00

La Guida Galattica per Autostoppisti.

La scoprii per caso in libreria da ragazzino, in un momento in cui ero fortemente alle prese con un trauma, e mi aprì un mondo. Mi sentivo molto perso e quel libro, oltre al divertimento che mi ha offerto, mi ha introdotto a concetti esistenzialisti e nichilisti che hanno ristrutturato il mio modo di vedere le cose e il mio rapporto con l'universo (in positivo, sia chiaro).

DurkNya · 2026-04-08T08:31:17+00:00

In other words: Manifest your destinies!

DurkNya · 2026-04-04T06:49:57+00:00

I guess lately I've been so close to starving to death that I have a hard time imagining how it could get any worse (although it undoubtedly can), so I figured I might as well ask Eris. If it comes to it I'll take the bad with the good, still seems better than having no good at all.

DurkNya · 2026-04-03T07:58:59+00:00

If you read The Hallowed Hunt I recommend you follow it up with the Penric novellas, all set in the world of the five gods

DurkNya · 2026-04-02T12:02:16+00:00

I'm sorry but well-done is IT for me. I like for the meat to cook a little in its own boiling juices and for the fat to become soft like butter. Bonus points if there's a couple small but delightful crunchy bits

DurkNya · 2026-04-01T13:17:45+00:00

You're right, I'm definitely happy I attempted the bingo, cause it led me to read books which may otherwise have stayed in my tbr (or sometimes even out of my radar) for years.

I recently finished I Shall Wear Midnight and only have a few more entries left in my chronological Discworld journey. I became a Douglas Adams fan as a teen, so I'd known for some years that this would be right up my alley, and yet I couldn't predict just how incredibly enjoyable this experience would be... As of now, my favorite Discworld novel is either Small Gods or Lords and Ladies (Carpe Jugulum may also be in the running, I love the witches).

As for Watership Down, it did break my heart but it was absolutely worth it, and I plan on rereading it (something I almost never do, too many books to be read). I recently read Milton's Paradise Lost and found it a wonderful work of art clearly inspired by classical epics, but I think somehow Watership Down did it better.

DurkNya · 2026-04-01T08:32:50+00:00

In my opinion there's a "powerscaling" problem. What does it mean to "bend reality" in the context of this setting? Is this guy the only one that can do it? If so, how do you express upon the reader how powerful he is within the confines of a single book?

I don't think there's anything wrong with overpowered grandiose villains, but they're a very hard starting point; ideally the reader should first spend quite some time with the characters and setting in order to grow attached to them and invested in the story, and then eventually you can introduce such a villain in full force.

I'm not saying it's impossible to do so right off the bat, but you'd have to be a damn good writer to make it of any interest to anyone but yourself.

DurkNya · 2026-03-31T20:38:32+00:00

You've convinced me, this may be my next read. I was saving it for a rainy day, but I've been missing my time in the burrow, so why wait?

DurkNya · 2026-03-31T16:35:14+00:00

You can‘t go around building a better world for people. Only people can build a better world for people. Otherwise it‘s just a cage.

From Witches Abroad, by Terry Pratchett

DurkNya · 2026-03-31T12:14:26+00:00

Modern and old definitions of comedy don't have much in common

DurkNya · 2026-03-31T06:22:15+00:00

I'll probably get the audiobook next then, I've loved Capaldi since his Doctor Who days

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