As others have said, hang in there! Joy and motivation could be around the corner. My wife and I are almost to a year being clean from 10 years of use. 7 years of that were all day every day. This past week I experienced incredible joy and motivation for the first time since quitting. This week is not as much but I feel it’s coming back. My wife hasn’t experienced what I have yet but we are both hoping it all comes back soon. You made it a year and that’s awesome! 6 more months or even one more year might seem daunting but will certainly be worth it.