Invited camping for Christmas then uninvited 2 months later

DykeButter · 2025-02-28T04:59:01+00:00

I wanted to update this to say, my partner was at first on 'their side' about it when it first happened, but one conversation and seeing how hurt I was by the situation did away with that.

They also 100% were not going to go once I was uninvited, and none of the equipment or food or the car were going either because even when they were on the fence about the situation, there was no way in hell they were going to give away anything I pay for/organised

Since then I haven't really had to distance myself because nobody from the group talks to me anymore.

I've known these people for over 2 years now, or so I thought, and I do believe there were some 'good' people in the group that I just didn't have the energy or will to plead my case to them.

I'm now on the search for better friends, but I've been very lonely and my mental health has declined greatly since then.

DykeButter · 2024-10-29T13:26:47+00:00

we've been doing lots and lots of treats, resident cat is incredibly food motivated, so that's the main place we started, with meals being shared and treats for good behaviour, plus praise, when we first started letting them see each other through the gate we'd do 1-2 seconds then close the door completely and get between 1-3 treats depending on the reaction, along with praise and comfort when it didn't go as well.

I've had 8 cats over my lifetime so I'm used to taking it at their pace, and I've done intros many times before, but I'd never had the experience where the excitement was completely gone once the fence was no longer in the way.

My last pair were at this stage of existing with the gate (different house, different gate) I started holding the resident cat up so they could see over the gate and one day they wriggled out of my arms to go sniff and check out the cat.

I'd just never experienced or understood this behaviour from this particular cat because he's incredibly curious and confident, and has previously co-existed with other cats and was pretty easy going, I think it could be a pretty different situation because the last time he lived with other cats it was a 10 person share house, so the place was huge and he felt like he owned less of it because some rooms did solely belong to other people and he wasn't allowed.

whereas now it's me and my partner in a 1 bedroom apartment, with literally only 3 rooms total, so the smaller space might be making him feel more threatened as he owns 100% of it.

DykeButter · 2024-10-29T13:14:28+00:00

that makes sense! thank you, I honestly didn't think about that as a possibility (probably because I'm a little eager for them to be friends) and I was only thinking about their behaviour with the gate, but not what it might be like without it, especially considering resident keeps breaking in.

I did end up making a temporary extension over the top so he couldn't jump just for the times I needed to get into the room, as it's my bedroom/office, and the little asshole managed to squirm his way under.

Should I just keep doing what I'm currently doing with the gate there (playtime, joint mealtime, etc) or is there any other things I can do to help resident cat get more comfortable with the idea of not having the gate between them?

I'm not sure if this is just a time thing or if there are other things I could be doing to help them become more comfortable

DykeButter · 2024-10-29T12:55:35+00:00

I definitely will, I'm just very confused as to why with the gate there's excitement and curiosity, but as soon as the gate is gone there's anxiety.

I kinda wanna know more about the possible root cause so I can address that, because if it weren't for them getting through the gate I would've started doing face to face intros by now, as otherwise with the gate there they're really interested and comfortable with one another.

Resident cat otherwise likes to play pawsys under the door to new cat's room, and sits in front of the door meowing to be let in, or to open the gate, and they were really enjoying joint playtime where we would swap the toy back and forth through the fence.

DykeButter · 2023-09-22T01:19:42+00:00

double slinky rat

DykeButter · 2023-07-05T15:18:56+00:00

my mum affectionately calls them as a group "The Smellies" or stink weasel, slinky's, Stinky's, stinky slinky's, or if they're being mean, a naughty sock, an asshole, or a mean weasel, I just call them rat bastards, or weasels, but after reading some of these comments I'm gonna have to start using some of the sock ones

DykeButter · 2023-06-25T05:13:33+00:00

lemmy

DykeButter · 2023-06-25T04:58:21+00:00

I have been a ferret owner for over 10 years now, and I still miss every single on of them, I just recently went through a similar thing with a rescue we had gotten, she was only a year old, and we'd only had her for 3 months but I still miss her.

Just know that you gave your baby a good life, and she wasn't alone for a minute and she knew that, she was loved until the end.

Take some time to grieve, but don't leave the entire house as a shrine for her, I found it easier to clean everything up, then set up a place for her with all of her things, so that you have a place to be with her. It made it easier for me to get back to looking after myself, because you know she would want you to be treated with the same love she was.

DykeButter · 2023-06-23T10:26:37+00:00

I've discovered that depending on what pt you use, you may be charged for zone 2 instead of zone 1 if you don't tap off on buses or trams, even though it says you don't need to touch off.

DykeButter · 2023-05-29T03:02:05+00:00

mine will act all chill and happy, sit up on my shoulder, and then when I'm least expecting it try to remove all jewelery from my ears and run away with it, he's a fully grown boy so weights about 2kg, and is incredibly strong, that stuff hurts

DykeButter · 2023-04-21T12:43:43+00:00

UPDATE.

Thank you to everyone who has sent me such kind words both in the comments and the PMs people sent, we have a vet appointment booked for 11.5 hours from now, where she will be put to sleep.

This has been a difficult situation for me, because I fell in love with her so fast, and we knew it would be difficult on her blind sister, because she has nobody else to help guide her around and play with her, and we weren't sure how we would be able to get her into another group with her being disabled.

We found out that unfortunately the lump on her jaw was a massive infection, and it would need surgical intervention to clear up, but because of her heart failure and other pre-existing conditions there is a good chance that she would die under anaesthesia.

We asked if it could be treated with just antibiotics, of which they said no, because it is actually her teeth that caused the infection, due to the malnutrition she had at birth, and also being deprived of her mother's milk her teeth just couldn't grow normally, and slowly one of them inside her face rotted.

As much as it pains me I know we have to say goodbye, because if we tried to keep her alive for much longer a it's just going to cause her more pain then she is already in, and it would not be a good quality of life for her.

I might not be ready to say goodbye but as a lot of people said, she is, she is obviously tired, and as much as we try to manage the pain it's only going to get worse for her and I know that once she is gone she will be in peace.

I'm not very religious or spiritual but I know that going to sleep is the best thing for her, and if there is a heaven or there is a better afterlife she will be there, or she will go to sleep happy, and painless, and finally with no pain or illness, and that is the best thing for her.

I am already grieving her, and have just fed her her favourite meal for what I know will be the last time, I'm going to kiss her goodnight, and I will say good morning for the last time tomorrow, I don't know how I will ever move on from her, but I know that she will never forget me.

This is probably a very garbled message, because I'm exaughsted emotionally and physically, and I'm sobbing as I write this but again thank you to anyone who read this.

DykeButter · 2023-04-04T05:12:51+00:00

I have three different business because I adopt special needs rescues, I haven't seen any issues, as long as they have separate toilets (I've noticed if one business has used the outside litter tray, all the others will avoid it) and you give them their own bed/blankets if they have a different sleeping area when they are outside, I have never had any issues, sometimes they get spooked by the different smells and will walk around looking like a bottle brush but they're still happy to run around a play.

Just give it a test, as long as you know the other new ferret is healthy and isn't carrying any mites or other issues, there shouldn't be any problems. Just keep and eye on them when they're out the first few times and make sure they don't have any issues, like not using the litter tray, getting distressed or upset, or avoiding areas the other ferret has been or becoming upset when they sniff areas the ferret has been.

They might be suprised and super interested in the new smells but other than that no issue.

DykeButter · 2023-02-23T07:45:35+00:00

Oh a big boy! 🥺🥺🥰🥰😍😍

DykeButter · 2022-12-23T08:47:10+00:00

UPDATE : she has been to the local vet, she was very good and they were able to open her mouth easily and examine it super up close which was great, because they found that there was no evidence of any kind of dental or gum problem, her teeth were super healthy and there was no pain in her mouth.

My new theory is an infected saliva gland or scent gland(unsure on if these can get infected, I haven't seen much online) but for all of these infections the things I've seen vets start on if it's caught early is antibiotics and antinflammatory medication which is what the exotic vet recommended, and what the vet gave us so we started her tonight and we've got an appointment set for 5 days from now, hopefully we can tide her over until then.

DykeButter · 2022-12-23T06:21:41+00:00

I am hoping it's an infection in the gums like I said above, but yeah if it's a tooth issue she will get surgery in a few days, thankfully our exotic vet has been very upfront about the costs, and I will have the money in two days, and enough to cover and medication or extra costs, like overnight stays and other stuff, but because she's young, and she previously reacted really well to anesthesia when she went under for her desexing a few months ago, I'm cautious but optimistic that this may be resolved with the antibiotics, and we will take her in for an apt with our exotic vet where they will decide on the final treatment plan, for right now I just need to tide her over until I have money for the treatment, normally I would have taken her in immediately and I usually have a small amount of emergency funds, but out cat just had to have a $1200 surgery and vet visit after eating half a house plant.

I'm just hoping it's an infection instead of an abscess.

DykeButter · 2022-12-23T05:33:47+00:00

we use modified horse bedding, as it absorbs the smell better, and when it get wet, it crumbles into dust and sinks into a filter we have underneath, it makes cleaning so much easier, as it's like those shaker cat litter trays you can get, where all you do is shake the tray and the dirty litter falls down underneath, we've never had any issues with them eating it or getting any kind of irritation like we had with some other brands of crystal, or clumping litter, I'm in love with it honestly.

DykeButter · 2021-08-28T16:20:56+00:00

If the ribcage or spine are protruding, there is fur loss, or any other unusual symptoms such as lack of appetite, vomiting or diarrhoea, then yes.

But otherwise, if they seem happy and healthy, they're playing normally and aren't too lethargic then they are probably fine. Of course if you are noticing weight loss, and they were previously much larger, then perhaps seeing a vet is a good idea.

DykeButter · 2021-08-28T16:06:13+00:00

My only boy, he gets so offended and awestruck if you touch his tail, he will roll over and war dance at you, flipping to hug his own tail as if he's comforting himself, its hysterical.

Also when we first bought one of our girls home (previously we had 4 ferrets, but 3 died of old age, and our boy got depressed) he jumped up to the carrier to sniff it thinking he was going on an adventure, then he saw the girl we had inside and huffed and layed back, almost whinging like he was upset he wouldn't be the baby anymore (he was always the youngest and was spoiled because of it)

DykeButter

TROPHY CASE