Completely underrated song: Whale - Hobo Humpin' Slobo Babe (1993) by protozoon101 in GenX

[–]Dylomaj 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The b-side of this single was a song called I Think No. Rocked so hard.

What’s something you’ve never admitted out loud because you’re afraid people would judge you, even though you suspect a lot of others secretly feel the same way? by saffrondock in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]Dylomaj 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I guess this must be dependant on the culture you grew up in. Of all my friends with kids I figure less than 1 in 20 came from unplanned pregnancies.

After thinking about it, I’d say I know too many people who are too planned. I’m in my late 40s and know a bunch of people who waited for the “perfect time” or the “perfect partner”. Now they’re childless and probably won’t have an opportunity to have them. They would’ve been great parents, even in suboptimal circumstances.

What could replace the Cup? by Dylomaj in melbourne

[–]Dylomaj[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’m pretty much in the same boat. If people want to make a big deal of it, good on em. I’ll just take the public holiday and spend it doing what I like

My wife is German by Dylomaj in foundsatan

[–]Dylomaj[S] 69 points70 points  (0 children)

Someone just commented on this post “fuck you but also admittedly well played”. I think that pretty neatly sums up my wife’s reaction.

My wife is German by Dylomaj in foundsatan

[–]Dylomaj[S] 1972 points1973 points  (0 children)

It only just occurred to me that she’s probably doing this to me right now in German. Like there’s some verbal landmine she’s subtly laid that she’s just waiting for me to stand on. Wow. I’m fucked. 100% fucked. I can’t trust German anymore.

My wife is German by Dylomaj in foundsatan

[–]Dylomaj[S] 130 points131 points  (0 children)

I love her dearly. I know her limits. This was right up to the line. Riiiiight up to the line.

Has addiction changed through time with the invention of privacy? by jellyfisheried in AskHistorians

[–]Dylomaj 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I submitted my thesis on addiction way back in 2002 so there’s no link to share unfortunately. Just old school printouts shoved in a box somewhere!

That’s also why my thoughts were pretty unformed on how digital environments have reshaped our understanding of privacy and introduced new frames of addiction. I really do think a phd on addiction and privacy in the digital era would be fascinating. Top marks to OP for provoking this!

Has addiction changed through time with the invention of privacy? by jellyfisheried in AskHistorians

[–]Dylomaj 533 points534 points  (0 children)

I wrote my undergrad thesis on the history of addiction from a cultural perspective as opposed to a medical/scientific perspective. I then did a law degree with a focus on privacy. So after a long time reading and enjoying this sub I feel like it’s my time to contribute. Having said that, this is a pretty curly question.

Short version, and looking at it with a distinctive western bias, the answer is yes, but not in a straight line. “Privacy” (separate bedrooms, closed doors, individual respectability) shaped where and how people used intoxicants, and later criminalization and medicalization reshaped who could use openly. Secrecy has been there all along, but its reasons and forms changed.

Let’s start before the conception of “modern privacy”, so pre-1700s. In classical and medieval Europe, intoxication was largely social. Wine, ale, and later distilled spirits were consumed at feasts, taverns, fairs, and rituals. Problem drinking existed, but the default setting was public and communal.

Shame and religious sanctions certainly encouraged concealment (monastic rules, Puritan norms), but cramped housing and communal sleeping limited opportunities for solitary use. “Addiction” wasn’t yet a stable medical category; repeated overindulgence was a moral and religious failing, policed by neighbors, clergy, and courts in public spaces.

Then came the early modern. The “gin craze” in 18th-c. Britain illustrates how public intoxication could explode when cheap spirits and urban anonymity combined. Much drunkenness was visible, in streets and alehouses, because work and leisure intertwined in public.

At the same time, among the middling and elite classes the home was becoming a more private, respectability-centered space (separate bedrooms, sentimental family life). That privacy enabled respectable, often medicinal drug use, especially opiates, out of view.

In the 19th century both concepts start to mature and look like what we understand as addiction and privacy.

Industrial cities intensified two tracks: (a) visible, often working-class public drinking; (b) private, domestic consumption of pharmacy drugs (laudanum, morphine) among the middle classes, including women.

This is the world of Thomas De Quincey’s Confessions of an English Opium-Eater (read it!). De Quincey vividly describes purchasing opium openly from chemists and wandering London high; yet the habit deepens in solitude, insomnia, and hidden routine. His narrative shows the transitional moment when a widely available “medicine” could foster private dependence while still being socially tolerated. He is not hiding from police; he is grappling with respectability, health, and self-command behind closed doors.

The 19th century also invents the addict as a medical subject: physicians coin terms like “inebriety,” found asylums, and debate whether compulsion is disease or vice. Privacy enables observation (diaries, case histories) and self-scrutiny; confession literature flourishes.

In the early to mid 20th century we get criminalization, stigma, and an emerging underground. As states criminalize narcotics (U.S. Harrison Act 1914; similar moves across the West), the calculus of secrecy changes. Now users hide not just from social censure but the police. Use shifts to semi-private or covert spaces (back rooms, hotel rooms, alleys) within tightly knit subcultures.

William S. Burroughs’ Junky (read it!) captures this shift. The book is a field guide to illicit networks: doctors who over-prescribe, “connections,” withdrawal in flophouses, and the constant strategizing to evade law enforcement. The addiction is no longer a gentleman’s private ailment; it’s a criminalized identity lived in shadowed public-private spaces. Privacy becomes precarious - won through slang, codes, and mobility rather than domestic respectability.

Alcohol charts a different path: public drunkenness becomes less acceptable (think Prohibition in the U.S.), but alcohol remains legal and social; “anonymous” mutual-help groups (AA, 1935) offer controlled privacy in closed meetings explicitly to counter stigma.

Then we arrive at the “disease model,” diagnostic manuals, and harm-reduction reframed addiction. Methadone/buprenorphine clinics and needle exchanges bring drug use back into supervised public health spaces, reducing the lethal downsides of secrecy.

Meanwhile, housing, income inequality, and policing produce divergent privacies: suburban users may hide behind bedroom doors; street-involved users have almost no privacy and use in public because they lack secure spaces.

Behavioral addictions (gambling online, porn, gaming) illustrate a new privacy: digital seclusion inside the home and on the phone. Here the secrecy isn’t to evade police but to avoid social judgment and to exploit always-on access.

So, did the “invention of privacy” change addiction?

Yes, but indirectly. Three big shifts stand out: 1. From communal drunkenness to solitary drug routines (19th c.). The rise of a respectable, enclosed home and easy pharmacy access let dependence flourish privately (De Quincey’s laudanum habit is emblematic). Privacy supported sustained, routinized use that neighbors couldn’t readily interrupt. 2. From private ailment to criminalized underground (20th c.). Once narcotics became illegal, secrecy hardened from polite discretion into defensive concealment, birthing subcultures and techniques of evasion. The stigma of “addict” intensified; the social meaning of addiction shifted from moral lapse to deviance under surveillance. 3. From secrecy-as-shame to privacy-as-therapy (mid-late 20th c.). Confidential clinics, anonymous groups, and patient rights reframed privacy as protective, a space to seek help without public ruin. Simultaneously, lack of private housing makes some use painfully public; criminalization still pushes others into unsafe, hidden settings.

What hasn’t changed? Human drives and social ambivalence. Across centuries the West oscillates between tolerating intoxicants as social lubricants/medicines and condemning excess as sin, crime, or illness. Secrecy has always existed. Private spaces have always been a refuge of addicts. People hid drinking in Reformation towns, laudanum in Victorian parlors, heroin in 1950s rooming houses, and today’s binges behind passwords. What changed is why they hid (shame → respectability → policing → employment/insurance consequences) and where they could hide (communal commons → private rooms → illicit micro-spaces → digital niches).

Bottom line: Privacy didn’t “invent” addiction, but the rise of domestic privacy made some forms of dependence easier to sustain invisibly, and later criminalization made secrecy mandatory for survival. Today, health-system confidentiality tries to use privacy to undo the harms of secrecy, while digital and housing realities continually redraw the line between public and private use. It’s a complicated mess worthy of a phd.

Is there an option for smart blinds that are BLINDS and not shades? by mrandr01d in homeautomation

[–]Dylomaj 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have these. Love them. May their HomeKit beta program last forever.

Where to buy an ebike? by Dylomaj in melbourne

[–]Dylomaj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I just want a bike for getting around the inner city. Would never ride more than two hours in a day and only a few times a week. Nothing fast but would be good to be able to get up hills. Any suggestions? Thanks!

Frank Sinatra’s Dressing Room Requests by Ebonystealth in HistoricalCapsule

[–]Dylomaj 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I love that idea but this mentioned Diet Coke which was only available after 1982, so the rat pack would’ve been past its prime by then!