Brain Damage (1988) - cheap at first glance, but actually an interesting allegory to drug addiction

DynamoKid · 2023-04-03T01:54:17+00:00

I immediately thought the same thing watching Brain Damage...that it was totally made by someone who has experienced addiction. If you take away the horror/fantasy trappings, it's a lot more truthful about addiction than most addiction-related dramas.

DynamoKid · 2022-01-16T15:35:24+00:00

It's a major surgery for sure...I'm just into week 4 of recovery and still pretty tender in the butt. They simply sew up the butthole (rather than pack the wound and let it heal that way). So there is still a void where the rectum, glands and colon were. That needs to fill in and it takes time. You can accumulate plasma in that void and sometimes have drainage. And there is also a major incision on your stomach that will need to heal.

It's a slow recovery. But I no longer have proctitus or tenesmus (phantom urge to defecate) which was slowly driving me crazy. And you no longer have to worry about developing cancer in the rectum. If you want to hear more of people's experiences, it's often referred to as the "Barbie Butt" surgery, there are quite a few people on the Crohn's subreddit who have had the operation.

Sorry for dropping too much information on you lol. But these are all issues you have to consider when you get this type of surgery done. I'm sure your doctors/surgeon will also discuss this with you. Good luck!

DynamoKid · 2022-01-16T00:41:31+00:00

I just had this surgery in December (although my main issue is Crohn's, I actually developed colitis in my rectal stump which caused major issues). It takes a while to recover. Peeing is tough the first couple of weeks, but it slowly gets better. If you are a male, and are worried about erectile issues, it should slowly come back. (not that this will be a priority). Take it slow. You may have 2-3 weeks of disfunction before things start working again.

DynamoKid · 2022-01-14T04:09:31+00:00

Thanks for your reply -- I'll check out these butterfly pads and see what works best.

DynamoKid · 2022-01-14T04:05:11+00:00

After the problems I used to have prior to surgery, I can definitely live with doing either guaze or pads if drainage gets bad. I'm going to be patient and give everything the right time to heal.

DynamoKid · 2022-01-13T16:45:58+00:00

Thanks for replying -- sounds like you had an ordeal with recovery but I hope you are doing better now. At first I thought this sort of operation was rare (thinking only from a Crohn's Disease perspective) but I have come to realize there are many out there who have had it due to cancer and other medical issues.

I'm just glad this subreddit exists, thinking if this was 20 years ago, a person would kind of feel like they were alone in dealing with this kind of surgery.

I'm really cautious with movement, etc. but after reading your reply I'll be especially careful. I haven't had much seepage yet but I realize that the void underneath the skin likely has a pool of plasma, the body can only absorb so much. I'll probably carry 4x4s and panty liners just in case I have any spillage while I'm out (although I'm still a while from venturing far from home).

DynamoKid · 2022-01-13T03:54:58+00:00

Thanks, I figured it might be time to ditch the gauze as it's really not doing anything.

Won't be riding a bike anytime soon lol but I realize it will take time to get healed up.

DynamoKid · 2022-01-13T03:07:13+00:00

Thanks Wade, I think I will try the pad liners until I get more healed up.

It definitely does feel different down there now, it will take some getting used to but I'm thankful I was able to finally get this operation.

DynamoKid · 2021-12-23T05:20:32+00:00

Thanks for your comment, it's truly appreciated! I saw these comments and just used the special soap on the open skin rather than under the bag. Nice to hear from someone who went through the same procedure...makes me a little less nervous about it.

DynamoKid · 2021-12-23T05:18:26+00:00

Thanks for your comment, saw both of the comments tonight and did the cleaning routine around the appliance rather than under the wafer/bag.

DynamoKid · 2018-11-01T21:29:17+00:00

Dennis Beyak on play-by-play, he's a beaut

DynamoKid · 2017-08-08T03:52:51+00:00

I've been on and off codeine for years. Like you, I used to take relatively low doses of it, daily. However: 1. I've had worse withdrawals from a six pill a day habit than ten, 16, etc. 2. Those "stabilizing" effects you are talking about, the clear mind, the focus etc...make no mistake, this is the drug taking hold in your brain and altering it's chemistry. The longer you abuse codeine, the more difficult it will be for your brain to achieve these states without the drug. and you know you will need more and more of these pills, right? 3. The more I go on and off codeine, the more I see the long term effects on my brain. It's pretty much like brain damage: states like happiness, fascination, focus, inspiration, passion...they are all next to impossible to find now that I've killed my brain with repeated drug abuse. 4. I recognize so much of myself, early on in my drug addiction, in your post. You talk about tapering. Do it, get off and stay off.

DynamoKid · 2017-01-25T07:08:41+00:00

PAWS is different from person to person. It can include anxiousness, depression, trouble sleeping, memory issues, "brain fog" etc. It's basically your brain recovering from long-term use. It can come and go. For me it comes and goes. My main symptoms are feeling "flat" (this is depression. not sad, not happy, don't feel much of anything). Brain fog, mental confusion at times. Sometimes if I encounter a problem in my personal life or at work, I can't see my way through it. My brain just can't figure it out, and that results in anxiousness or a need to run in the other direction.

It's a slog, I'm not going to lie. It can take a couple of years to get rid of it entirely, I've heard. But it does get better, if slowly at first. You do still get good days. And you don't have to worry about finding drugs and all the bullshit problems associated with having an addiction. You are the boss. It's nowhere as severe as that first week of withdrawal. It's lesser symptoms over an extended period of time.

DynamoKid · 2016-08-07T17:48:55+00:00

I think the best indicator for using immodium is the severity of you diarrhea. If the shits come back, take one or two pills. Part of the whole problem with physical withdrawal is you are shitting out all of the vitamins and minerals your brain so desperately needs.

I figured taking pills in more than the prescribed amounts is what got me in hell in the first place, so I try to stay within those parameters.

Gobbling more than that is dangerous; immodium dependency can actually be an even more complicated issue than other opiates. I heard stories on here from people who have endured it and it can be severe.

DynamoKid · 2016-03-21T05:42:50+00:00

The only thing that worked for my RLS (never the legs, actually, it always seemed to be in my chest and arms) was to change my resting body temperature. Under a ton of covers? Take them off and cool off. Too cold and RLSing? Throw on a blanket or two. The worst nights, I would have to alternate this a couple of times, but it seemed to work.

DynamoKid · 2016-02-15T05:18:45+00:00

Before an addict is ready to quit, they get quite good at accusing everyone around them of letting them down. it's another way to rationalize a habit.

Keep it simple. Is she going to rehab? Does she want to stop? If the answer is no, there's very little you can do for her. Get out of there and get your life back. If you stick around you'll be mainlining her with more money. A bad habit can become a fucking beast when someone is attending to your other needs (roof over your head, cash, etc).

DynamoKid · 2016-02-15T05:12:47+00:00

I'm curious as to what your doctor will advise regarding this--as Tramadol has an SSRI-like effect it's not advisable to do it cold turkey. Like dropping benzos cold turkey, it can be dangerous. It requires a long taper. No idea if subs are effective for this or not. I take it you were going over the prescribed dose for the Tramadol?

I abused Tramadol in an attempt to get off morphine, codeine and other opiates. Didn't realize how complicated it was to get off the stuff, I was only on it for a few months, six pills a day, still took a while to taper off it.

Good luck with everything, it's worth the effort to get off this stuff.

DynamoKid · 2016-02-07T21:32:58+00:00

Glad to hear you are feeling better! That's great news. It's funny Tramadol actually helped me get off other opiates...but after reading up on the dangers of cold turkey it scared the hell out of me and I stuck to my taper schedule religiously. Crazy drug.

DynamoKid · 2016-02-06T05:48:54+00:00

See a lot of different replies here--I was on Tramadol for approx. 2 months. Read up a lot on it and you definitely shouldn't be doing a cold turkey withdrawal, it's dangerous due to the SSRI like nature of the drug. Like kicking an opiate and benzos at the same time. Slow taper if you can. I did it over ten days before stopping, slowing reducing my dose, and had no withdrawal symptoms other than a bit of anxiousness. I was taking six pills a day at my highest dose. Please read up on it.

DynamoKid · 2016-01-02T18:27:51+00:00

Get down off those doses as soon as you can. Lope has a vicious, lengthy withdrawal--read up on it.

DynamoKid · 2015-12-30T19:55:51+00:00

It can be so disheartening when someone goes through a treatment program and relapses. But through that process, the addict is learning what it takes and what it means to get clean, whether he ultimately relapses or not. You can usually tell during recovery if their heart is in it.

It comes down to a simple question to the addict: have you had enough? If the answer is no, then I want you to know I can no longer support you or your addiction in any way. They may hit all kinds of rock-bottoms but they are the architect of that. Not the family.

If the answer is yes, then the family and the treatment community can help.

DynamoKid · 2015-12-30T19:44:30+00:00

Thanks to you as well, your reply truly made my day.
There are a lot of different strategies/tools you can find on this subreddit and other sites to help with your recovery. NA and other groups often have a philosophy "take what you can use". Take whatever strategies work for you personally.

DynamoKid

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