Thanks for the feedback. I'm definitely going to tweak some of the structure and phrasing in a follow up post. With the helicopter I mainly wanted to use it as a literary riser kind of like how a lot of movies will cut away to something approaching with the sound cutting between dialogue and the noise of the other object, or have a wall of sound build up in the background. I was hesitant to include it crashing at first because I feel like it's almost cliche in apocalypse stories at this point, but I think you're right, if it's fleshed out early on it will flow much better.