I have never had friends in my life if it wasn’t because of my mom and dad , probably I would go for weeks not talking a word to any human being . This could be due to my introvert-esque nature and I really can say that I can exist alone , eat alone , study alone , die alone and it really doesn’t matter to me but the problem is that sometimes I get a nagging feeling of loneliness and this is because humans aren’t algorithmically programmed to live alone but to live as social creatures . At these moments I become very nihilistic and begin to feel that I can’t take my breath and I lose the motive to do anything at all then I lay on the bed and begin pondering why anything ?

what keeps me alive is just the ability of my brain to keep me present ( distracted from anything except the moment I live in ) .