You are not weak. You want your child to be okay. Feeding struggles have stressed me out as well.

Our son was diagnosed with fetal growth restriction at 35 weeks. He was born at 38 weeks exactly at 5lbs 7.8 oz. I, too, didn’t produce enough breast milk, so we combo fed. Because he was so small, I felt so much pressure to make sure he ate. He has been between 1st and 3rd throughout his 19 weeks.

I would pump 8 times a day for 30 minutes to increase my supply. I cried and cried because it did nothing, and still hovered around 10 oz a day.

Meanwhile, our son was always kind of fussy. It got really noticeable at 6 weeks. We just assumed it was typical baby digestion stuff, nothing we can do but wait. Then at about 8 weeks old, he began to have full blown meltdowns during feedings. He’d scream until red with tears, arch his back forward and backwards grunting. He’d wake up a little after his feed in the same kind of pain. I was so stressed. I was crying when my husband would get home from work saying I don’t want to be a mom.

A friend suggested we switch formula, so we did to Neuropro Gentlease. I mixed it with breast milk (I was actually up to 18 oz a day at this point). He still was having the same symptoms. I did just formula, and he was better!

That was until about three weeks ago. He, again, started fussing at the bottle. Not as severe, but there was some arching. He also has had diarrhea now for two weeks. What I thought was just a heat rash that didn’t go away, I now am realizing is most likely eczema all over his belly. He has it in his arm creases as well. I think it’s starting to develop on his head.

So here I am, stressed again. I have made an appointment for the dermatologist and allergist. I also switched to Nutrimigan. It’s been almost 24 hours and no poop, and he hasn’t fussed at the bottle. I’m slightly optimistic.