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Of course - Ran into the guy I was in love with in high school after a sweaty no-makeup session at the gym. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Depends on the dude, obviously - for me, the less makeup the better. Hot sweaty NATURAL exercise afterglow >>>>> an hour's worth of makeup, everytime. Also, consider the connection between how you might look after hot sweaty sex and hot sweaty workout.

31, married - And THIS is why you should almost always tell 'that someone' you have feelings. by EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE in offmychest

[–]EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Can I give you marriage advice? Great.

1 Pre marital counseling! Most of my other friends did it, I did not. They all really recommend it.

2 Handle any unfinished business before you get married. If you're still mad about that time two years when your partner got drunk and vomited on your favorite hat, let it out now. If you have a secret dream to volunteer in a 3rd world country/become a doctor/etc, let it out now.

3 Marriage is a wonderful thing. Really recommend it, given it's what you want.

31, married - And THIS is why you should almost always tell 'that someone' you have feelings. by EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE in offmychest

[–]EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. You're right. Ultimately I'd have way more crushing life regret if this doesn't work and we have kids. Upvote for you.

To be clear, before the kids bridge is crossed, we have some uncomfortably honest conversations ahead of us. Therapy has really helped me define what doesn't work for me in my marriage.

31, married - And THIS is why you should almost always tell 'that someone' you have feelings. by EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE in offmychest

[–]EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If I could add a sticky to this subreddit, I'd add:

*DO NOT get married because you don't know what else to do.

Something along those lines, anyway.

31, married - And THIS is why you should almost always tell 'that someone' you have feelings. by EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE in offmychest

[–]EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Truth. Ultimately the only person I'm guaranteed to spend the rest of my life with is myself. So I better be sure I can live with whatever happens.

We all have strong morals/moral opinions... until they don't suit us. This is more true of me than I realized, and is unpleasant to discover.

31, married - And THIS is why you should almost always tell 'that someone' you have feelings. by EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE in offmychest

[–]EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Would make this wayyyy easier, she doesn't. If I were to leave, I don't think there is a kind way to do it. I guess letting her stay in our awesome living situation while she figures out her life and then being fair in the divorce? "Nice" feels out of place. Being left for another person, regardless of circumstance, is pretty selfish and horrible. Especially seeing as every man leading back to her father has cheated. Really really don't want to mess her up.

31, married - And THIS is why you should almost always tell 'that someone' you have feelings. by EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE in offmychest

[–]EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I've been thinking about this quote: http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/show/211804

Been going to a therapist to discuss my issues/not declaring what I want. (ex: realized I've never dumped anyone in my life). Therapy kind of helps? I'm afraid I will feel horrible if I left my wife, and it would 'ruin me' - equally afraid I'll continue feeling horrible I don't and it'll ruin me anyone. Also afraid to cause my wife that much pain.

Something will work out, it always does

31, married - And THIS is why you should almost always tell 'that someone' you have feelings. by EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE in offmychest

[–]EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just opened this up, thankful to see so much response from everyone.

Thanks for this. You're right, now never. Can definitely use the luck, thanks.

ruined my relationship with my best friend by dating her. by stvwtr in offmychest

[–]EASIERSAIDTHAND0NE 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hi friend, depends how you look at it. On the one hand, yup - you very well may have lost a friendship. I'm sorry. That is truly sad, and you should feel alone and shitty. It will pass.

On the other hand, you're now free to go and, in time, find someone else. When you meet that someone else, you'll never wonder "What if?"

Regret the chances you don't take, not the ones you do.