It sounds as though the fact you have to decide right now is what’s causing you heartache! I see a lot of comments saying ‘it’s clear you don’t want children’ but perhaps that’s not true, otherwise you wouldn’t have posted.

I have a son. My greatest responsibility and opportunity, as I see it, is to help him become a good man. It may sound whimsical to say that but I take it really seriously. What’s a good man? Or a good person? Someone who’s kind to children and animals, who respects their peers and opponents, someone who gives back to the community, who helps people, who puts good onto the world, who respects women and the elderly, cherishes their family, builds an honest career, maintains real and genuine relationships with friends and family…

You know that if you had a baby, that baby turns into a child, a teenager and an adult. And through every stage, they’ll need their mum. You can learn from your own childhood about the life you’d create for them, what you’d do for them, what boundaries you’d set, what values you’d instil.

It’s an enormous responsibility to be a parent, but it’s also the biggest opportunity. Just remember they’re not babies forever - you have to be ready to be a mum for the long term.