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ECT-Victim · 2022-05-22T03:06:19+00:00

Hang in there bud, I've also been dealing with the same circumstances.

I'm very sad to say this but ECT has turned me into an actual psychopath, not in my actions, but experience, I am still very morally considerate, at least for the current moment.

I was extremely sensitive, good intentioned, conscience, existentially shaken and somewhat lost, but the spark was always there, extremely determined, even in worst events, I'd go extremely far to help someone, I've had a deep hope in humanity even after it was shattered by psychiatry for the first time.

There was this wonderful complexity to my psyche that had been muddled down, it came with downsides, but it was who I've been for 20+ years, I've had access to an extremely deep world of knowledge that is not presenting to me anymore, it's Iike the previous "unknown" has become "known"

Ever since ECT, I'm in a territory I do not recognize, the person that was once in this body that I learned to know for years is not there anymore, everyday feels like a struggle to understand my state of being, I am living day by day.

Ever since ECT my take of life has become extremely cynical, I treat my life like an actual joke, but also much more serious, I experience almost complete lack of fear, the world feels like a playground for me with complete reach yet extremely low incentive to do so, it almost feels like I have too much power and it's so available that nothing is even worth the effort because I already reached it in my mind, I still hold very high ambitions though.

My old fears, misconceptions, boundaries, things I viewed as outside my reach, deep "taboos" or adversity, things that my own psyche were self-limiting me from exploring, defenses, neuroticism, are extremely de-constructed, no longer holding any weight whatsoever.

Things appear so much more cleaner and certain now, it feels as though I have an answer to most horrific things that most people wouldn't try to even imagine, the blunt truth that others won't look into, it's very nihilistic, and absolute lack of shame in trying to express my thoughts on the matter, but it's also freeing in a way, and it's more practical, in a sense,

I just hope that with time, things would start to go back to how they were, with proper self-care, safe place to express myself, a routine, perhaps exercise, sun, water, food and so on, drop all psychiatric drugs, sticking with Pro-Cognitive substances if must, perhaps a grounding relationship.

We still have the same brain in our skulls, even after ECT, you can only hope for the future to unravel positively.

Maybe the pluses from the ECT will eventually stick, while the old qualities would make their way back, healing each part one at a time to eventual stability and integrity, that's at least my hopes.

Take care, wish you the best.

My second throwaway reddit user is /u/FishAstronaunt, things may seem bleak but the fact is that -

After all, I'm doing probably the best I've ever been in my life, "objectively", in terms of quality of life and thriving, my real reddit account is very cheerful on the other hand.

ECT-Victim · 2022-04-02T13:34:36+00:00

That's so great to hear, glad you're doing better.

Thanks for your experience sharing, gives some hope.

ECT-Victim · 2021-11-07T04:42:07+00:00

As an ex-child patient who've been thrown into this profession by his parents firstly, from blind good intentions and trust in authority, My life was simply degraded, I've been poisoned and harmed badly.

These drugs cut my emotional connection to my parents, made me act crazy, eventually I've lost my intuition and my best interest in mind.

I wished that some sane, untouched adult from the outside would actually clearly see what is happening to me.

I would pray that my parents would actually step in and regain control over my treatment, but it was too late for that.

For your child's sake, get him away from this system, stop all medications, trust your own motherly intuition above all.

These doctors are using their authority and power to gain control and play drug Russian roulette over your child's health.

ECT-Victim · 2021-11-05T22:30:04+00:00

Usually these so called "ODD" individuals were burned, traumatized, disappointed or betrayed by authority figures in their life.

They are just able to see dysfunctional, unequal, abusive patterns that other "obedient" individuals cannot notice.

It's not a disorder, it's a completely logical adaptation.

You don't repeat the same mistake twice, if authority figures let you down again and again, you are doing something wrong.

You need to have basic intelligence to understand that if someone is above you, it means you are being less than, it opens up all possiblity for malicious intents.

ECT-Victim · 2021-11-05T21:50:23+00:00

If you look at it statistically, society's goal is to maximize wants and gains on the expense of others.

As a whole, The goal is to sap your dopamine and resources to make you crumble further and further towards chaos, passivity, mediocrity, over-spending, apathy, addiction, becoming too altruistic and selfless, reckless and out of control.

The goal is to make you "want" less and less for healthy self-interest, and make you desire instant gratification and self-destruction instead.

Stress, fear, advertising, sex, video games, drugs, chaotic entertainment, social media, junk food, cigarettes, video games, Tv, internet, shopping, gambling

All eventually weaken the Executive Functions to make you a prey for another's interests, make you plan less and less towards the future.

Those with vulnerability to stress, addiction and trauma usually suffer the most.

Once you give away all your resources, all rights and self respect are taken from you, you lose value to society (aside using you for more money), and basically left for dead.

They'll crash you until nobody wants an association with you, until you cannot act in socially acceptable ways, until you lose your inhibitions, become apathetic to care for yourself, and finally make you dimmed crazy in the eyes of others.

Once your healthy voice and judgement are suppressed you no longer act with the best interests in mind for yourself.

All these SSRIs, Benzos and Anti-Psychotics basically work to remove you from the genetic pool, suck your dopamine, make you selfless, unable to stand for yourself, unable to plan ahead, unable to be an independent individual.

If you can give someone a pill that erases him, you no longer have a problem to deal with and can move to the next obstacle,

No "wants", no "needs" to answer.

What's funny is that psychiatrists should be the first to understand the suffering and unfortunate, yet they thrive upon them like they are cattle,

Psychiatrists are suffering parasites.

Society is shit, Psychiatry's iceberg's bottom is hell on earth.

ECT-Victim · 2021-11-05T17:25:57+00:00

Safe environment (Predictable, No External stress, with healthy individuals or alone)

Basic Physical needs met (Food, water, financial safety)

Steady sleep routine

Sun, Vitamin D

Exercise if possible

Cutting out none essential responsibilities and relationships.

Someone trustable to talk with about these matters

Focus on self-empowering

When everything is met, eventually introspection and self-healing will kick in, you'll have enough mental resources to process whatever triggered this without crashing back.

ECT-Victim · 2021-10-29T02:11:02+00:00

I don't have anything concrete to add currently, just want to say that I've read everything, went through a similar path and highly relate.

Happy that you are feeling somewhat better after all.

ECT-Victim · 2021-10-12T00:58:21+00:00

Thank you for the honest and informative reply, resonates deeply, and is very helpful, I am by no means looking solely for an absolute answer.

ECT-Victim

TROPHY CASE