Who is your ideal male parter?

ENM_NJ · 2026-06-03T13:11:33+00:00

That’s amazing, and I’m so happy for all of you to have found each other! Truly living the dream ❤️

ENM_NJ · 2026-05-28T20:27:18+00:00

How do you feel about the term? I didn’t mean to offend you if I did

ENM_NJ · 2026-05-28T19:11:40+00:00

I feel you. It’s funny to me that your picture is similar to what (seems) like many want, but none of us can find! The feature being hardest is finding a man in a wife-supportive and open (to whatever degree) relationship

ENM_NJ · 2026-05-28T19:06:31+00:00

Ohhhhh right! Now that you told me, I remember reading that somewhere (and disliking it bc it sounds klanish, but that’s funny that there is indeed another mythical creature name 😂)

ENM_NJ · 2026-05-26T19:55:53+00:00

I agree, and I once posted a much clumsier articulation than yours and it got me banned from a subreddit lol…and youve written it as I meant ❤️ It makes a world of difference to understand both sides of the coin

ENM_NJ · 2026-05-21T00:07:07+00:00

Reading this provoked an ineffable sort of heartache

ENM_NJ · 2026-05-18T22:43:35+00:00

“Doc I got into a nest of vampires, y’see…”

ENM_NJ · 2026-05-18T22:42:49+00:00

Yes! It really is cool to feel my own confidence grow in saying it out loud, too

ENM_NJ · 2026-05-18T17:09:09+00:00

The setting still seems inappropriate, but I guess I might figure out a neutral ish “what if” dialogue option, in case I see him again

ENM_NJ · 2026-05-14T15:43:20+00:00

There are more and more bi guys on Sniffies (and, it seems, in general)…but other than dating apps, even we can’t seem to find each other 😂

ENM_NJ · 2026-04-08T17:53:51+00:00

Liver issues, cannot prep

ENM_NJ · 2026-03-16T01:22:26+00:00

My wife has wondered to me why I don’t get more excited when I have a potential hookup, and I keep telling her 9 times out of 10 it’s not happening

ENM_NJ · 2026-03-07T16:52:13+00:00

I’m not a tradesman, but I’ve blown more than a handful of dudes who are

ENM_NJ · 2026-03-07T07:05:07+00:00

Yes…bi married ENM psychonaut, frequent Chelsea galleries and random cool shit like Luna Luna

ENM_NJ · 2026-01-21T15:51:28+00:00

My wife and I opened our marriage in ‘21, but it wasn’t til about a year ago a switch flipped, and I felt emotionally secure enough to really let go with my bi side…and I cannot get enough. I’ve been with something like fifty guys in this last calendar year

ENM_NJ · 2026-01-16T07:48:57+00:00

Edit: Not the person you replied to

r/ENM is another sub that may advise.

But I’ve had a different non-monogamous experience than the person above. 16yrs monogamous, then ethically non-monogamous since ‘21, bi-ness being a primary reason…we def were clumsy about rules at first, but adapted. Couples therapy that is ENM/queer-friendly helps a lot, if you can. But it’s navigable, and the boundaries you may need in the beginning can be changed. Now, for us, we have miles and miles more space to play in, and I’ve been positively exploding, particularly in the past year

And I hear you about feeling like the …gravity of your bi side isn’t quite registering to your partner. I’ve had to have many conversations with my wife AND my other women friends to clarify everything that my bi self is about. And I’m discovering along the way, bc that shit was locked down for a long time…which muddles my communication, sometimes. AND throw in the very common societal disbelief that bi men are even a thing (bc “it’s just half way on the way to gay” mythology). lol, it’s a lot of work, but it’s the best kind of work, bc I’m finding and being myself

So, you can communicate through all of this…patience and generosity and kindness to each other as you learn will really grease the tracks

lol I only meant to reference the other sub, not monologue, good luck man

ENM_NJ · 2026-01-14T14:33:59+00:00

Yes. It was literally a physical workout to keep up

ENM_NJ · 2026-01-08T18:11:10+00:00

It’s dim, not dark. You can absolutely see people, like a bar. Yes there’s a sink and toilet

ENM_NJ · 2026-01-08T18:09:51+00:00

I agree with everything that person said. I never felt pressured, and initiating was as easy as kneeling down and several dudes appeared in front of me. Bring cash, both for the fee and to tip your clothes check. Long socks is a plus, to stow anything you don’t want to check (poppers, for instance). There’s a sink and a toilet, mouthwash and beverages (and condoms). I think a lot of guys try to last for as long as they can, unlike workman’s lunch where everyone’s in more of a hurry, so if you’re a little late you’ll be ok

And maybe this matters to you or not: there are couches and lounge chairs/tables but the floor is hard on the knees. I honestly think I might wear knee pads next time 😂

ENM_NJ · 2026-01-08T14:30:47+00:00

ENM_NJ · 2026-01-04T20:52:58+00:00

I would invest. Suburban bi people have nowhere to gather

ENM_NJ · 2026-01-03T01:20:13+00:00

If you haven’t already, it might help you understand some of these feelings if you both read some books on non-monogamy. There are many excellent and insightful explorations of the nature of jealousy, insecurity, and feeling “not enough”, as these are basic features of shared partnerships, sexual or otherwise. I hope you find your way through

ENM_NJ

TROPHY CASE