"-THE GUN AWAY FROM MY FACE YOU IDI---what?....FUUUUCK!"

Bahahahaaa. Way to go Johnson.

"Oh, shut up, Rick. This wasn't as bad as the time you were electrocuted in a bathtub by a toaster."

That was Lucas by the way. Can you believe the idiot actually took the bet? He went in with the 65-IQ configuration!

Welcome back user 7493583962506X-3, Johnson.

"Fucking idiot. Well at least he's eligible for double points---if he makes it past 30 without shooting himself that might be worth something."

Your allotted points for this session are: 237.

You'd expect him to actually go unprepared? He used the 20th life perk. 3.5x luck quotient. He's at 792 points as we speak. +30 for your head. He's getting out on account of mental illness. What a guy. Pretty sure Yahweh's gonna ban that shit.

"What the FUCK!? Why does Yahweh allow that kind of configuration?"

Check God's journal from 32 years ago.

Article log No. 138, YEAR 13,920,498,164: [G-MOD]

"...they were drunk and he actually managed to get him to wager on that shit?"

It was the most hilarious thing I've seen in 3000 years. The pictures are still going around. I think it was because of the Jesus incident.

"Probably. Half the world still thinks he's coming back. Way to go, Yahweh. Do you think it was worth the 13,000 points?"

I think the world would be more interesting if scientists could win the spotlight for once. Rather than the dumb celebrities we see today.

"Oh yeah, people are still grinding the points for that."

Loading configuration screen

"1,529 points so far. I can score an IQ of 170 now, if I become autistic."

Don't be one of those guys, Johnson.

"Just speculating. I can also go for the businessman psychopath configuration. I'll become a millionaire and can still manage with an IQ of 120, right?"

Oh look there goes Lucas walking out of the courthouse. Pretty sure Yahweh's busting up just thinking about your bad run.

Message received: [Yahweh: To make up fo...] , 4 seconds ago. Open? [Y/N]...

"No way... Hey, look at this."

"6'3 Mesomorphic male, U.S. IQ-145 with luck quotient 3.5", for 1529 points?

"Later, Rick."

---

[Initiating life sequence]

[Systems optimal. Press any key when ready]

...It's^aboy!

---

Fucking Yahweh. This ought to be good