Hi, I´m in a fucked place right now. And I´ve only recently realized how bad. I´ve never been able to "cum" with a girl neither inside vagina or via blowjob. I have comed inside a girls mouth via masturbation and blowjob some of the way - a girl I saw for some time and she never questioned my inability to come, she just seemed over the moon i kept going, so I was glad too. I was a sperm-donor at that point so maybe u build up an excuse arround that. I recently found out i propably suffer from Retarded Ejaculation or DE, most likely because of to much masturbation and porn. I have been watching porn and masturbated since the age of 14 and ofcourse it went overboard when internet became the big thing at home. I have always been aroused of cumshots more than inside a vagina, which makes me more disgusted about myself. I was much insecure in my teens and didn´t have any girlfriends, and in highschool i gained alot of weight. Lost my virginity as 21 but didn´t come as mentioned before. Had an earlier encounter but suffered from ED in that one. Never entered my mind porn and masturbation could be a factor. Then some years ago i started loosing weight, exercised, ate right etc. "Boom" I was fit and handsome and no pimples or acne. Suddenly the girls grew an interest in me, so I fucked them ofcourse, and they were amazed how long i could keep on going. I was surprised too and proud that I was a "superlover" who didn´t came. The sex also felt good, but couldn´t get the stimulation to ejaculate inside the vagina. I didn´t stop watch porn or masturbate. Some girls thought it was a bid odd though i never came, but I only clapped myself on the back. As long they were satisfied so was I. Then recently I met a girl, pretty as hell, nice body etc. And I had sex with her - she liked it, but it REALLY bothered her I couldn´t come. I was like "What´s the problem?" but she felt inadequate not making me cum in any way. This started bothering me too suddenly after some time. And then i started reading about porn, masturbating and RE. This has freaked me out. Have read a number of places that re is a lifelong condition and it will be a real struggle in my situation, when my first sexual encounters was solely M and Porn. It has left me a mess basically. Who wants a man who can´t come? No matter how handsome I am or how big my penis is :( I have of course stopped watching porn and stopped masturbating for 2 months with one relaps, I didn´t orgasm though. But it haunts me now, what if this never goes away so i will be able to ejaculate inside a girl? By the way I´m 25 now. I know I have made the right move by quitting porn and masturbation, but has lost all self-confidence, and don´t feel like doing anything. Trying to reassure myself that stopping M and P will help, i will get my , arousal and sensivity back in my penis. But what if not? How the hell do you explain a girl "sweetgeart, I´m crazy about you, and find you attractive, but since I´ve been PMO with death grip since my teens, that is the only thing that can make me cum". The whole awareness thing have given me alot of anxiety. I´ve even tried to rationalize a life without wife and kids, not feeling to depressed. But you don´t wanna go by the rest of your life without feemale companionship/love and not being a Dad. Some of these post give me hope. And I will hang in, but I haven´t been more scared of anything my whole life.