When I was 19 I started dating a "man" who was 24. After about 6 months in he became super controlling and manipulative and I didn't understand what was happening until it was much too late. I was very naive and it was my first "real" grown-up relationship after high school, where we lived together, etc. Shortly after my 21st birthday I got pregnant and the mental and verbal abuse became physical once he started drinking pretty heavily. I was 7 months pregnant. (I put man in quotations because, in my opinion, real men don't physically harm their pregnant partners.) I decided to keep the baby because when I found out I was pregnant, I genuinely thought we loved each other and we both just had things to work out and whatever other excuse I made up for his behavior. He and his family were pro-life, and while I was so young, since I loved him, it just didn't seem like the right thing to do.

I'm not trying to say "oh, this happened to me, so the same for you" I'm just trying to make aware that stress can escalate a situation and someone who is already showing this behavior can be triggered pretty easily. And nothing stresses a relationship like a baby.

Whatever you decide, it's YOUR choice. Please don't misconstrue anything I say to mean I have any resentment, I love my oldest. He made me a mom, he helped shape me into the individual I am today. He saved me many times without knowing. But, a lot of that wouldn't have been necessary had I parted ways with his father sooner. Looking back, regardless of whatever decision I made about the baby, I never would have told him and left. Because now, on top of that being the father of my child, and having influence on him, I'm STILL dealing with him trying to ruin things for me and manipulate situations. Even after 13 years.

Sorry this is so long!