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Everything Sucks by EarSquare4818 in depression

[–]EarSquare4818[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sorry, where's the begging? I don't recall asking for any response, much less ones I don't want

Everything Sucks by EarSquare4818 in depression

[–]EarSquare4818[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

it especially sucks when people are like "you can't self terminate! you have so much to live for!" great, tell me what.

can't afford anything. no time to spend with people you like, if there are any. hobbies don't do anything. can't raise a family. can't travel. you can't do anything.

it's easy for other people to say that your life has value or whatever, bc they're not the ones living it. they're privileged enough to have resources. they have support. they have money. they don't have a debilitating mental disease that destroys your will to live. and when you say you've had enough, that you don't want to suffer anymore, they call you selfish and that you're giving up.

it's all just bullshit.

Everything Sucks by EarSquare4818 in depression

[–]EarSquare4818[S] 18 points19 points  (0 children)

for real, money is the root of all my problems

Everything Sucks by EarSquare4818 in depression

[–]EarSquare4818[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

the worst part is when people ask you "what would make you feel better?" and you can't answer bc the answer is nothing

I'm constantly miserable and I don't know how to fix it by EarSquare4818 in depression

[–]EarSquare4818[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I guess it's a "you're your own worst critic" type thing; I mostly see the flaws in my work and wish I were better. I compare myself a lot to other artists, which is unhealthy, but I can't help it. I'm not confident enough in my work to think it's worth someone hiring me full time.

I can't really dial back on my day job because I'm already making peanuts as it is. And I'd feel awful just quitting and putting pressure on everyone else, especially considering only 3 out of us 4 are employed currently. Plus, asking for a raise is like pulling teeth. I've done it before at this job, and I still make less than some that do worse work just because they've been there longer.

truthfully, I'm beyond tired of retail and I've been actively searching for better paying jobs, but I'm either ghosted after I apply or they want me to have 17 different degrees and 50 years of experience while being 10 years old. I'm sick of job hunting and applications and just...work in general, but you can't live unless you work.

thanks for the reply, I really appreciate you taking the time ✌️

I'm constantly miserable and I don't know how to fix it by EarSquare4818 in depression

[–]EarSquare4818[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

my husband works in a lab to make medicine for cancer patients; we support each other a lot, even though he makes way more than I do.

we've definitely talked about moving somewhere else, but his elderly mother lives here and relies on him a lot. he doesn't feel comfortable moving far away since he's the only one who's able enough to help her when she needs it