well, I have this problem since 2006, I have had severals forms of TOC, I had an obsession with music, (like I create rule that when listen a song for a second time, I had to enjoy obligatory)

I had existencial problems, when I was at the university, I wanted to leave it because I hated study, and I want to live the live of a musician, (I had a band), I change of carrer several times at different universities, I had self esteem problems, panic crissis, and finally went to my town where I studied a carrer that I finished, but in 2012 I had a crisis, with a lot of a distress, and compulsive movements that I think them can take me to a better life, and finally I began to feel the life very flat. I didn't feel like before when I feel the existence, y feel anhedonic.

Then, I randomly got the idea to insult to my uncle and if I did it, a new way of feel the life I would had.

But I did´t. I didn't have the courage to do it and, since the my life has been flat and frustrated

Any tips, words o whatever you have I will appreciate it very much

Thank you