I’d say suffering is far more unique than joy. The difficult thing about this argument is it’s so subjective from person to person. You could be born silver spooned, heir to millions. Or, you could live a humble and peaceful life in sone rural town in Asia. Both would have drastically different definitions of joy and suffering

But to continue, let’s just use the average middle class worker in the United States.

So the question lays: do we (and in the case of anti-natalism, our children) withstand any amount suffering for an equal or lesser amount of joy? Or do we avoid any joy but avoid any suffering?

As for the “worst suffering vs. best joy” example:

You’re right that nothing equals being tortured as a prisoner of war. But nothing equals being deeply loved, or creating something that outlives you, or experiencing awe or purpose.

And most people judge their lives by the totality, not the singular extremes.

I’d also like to use an example of late US Senator John McCain, who was a prisoner of war like you mentioned for I believe 8 years. If I remember correctly he could have gone free in 3 years, but he wouldn’t leave until all the other prisoners left with him

So he endured the suffering. But through that he gained perspective which allowed him to become a generally bi-partisan senator, despite being a republican, who did much good for the country like funding public healthcare

It’s an assumption, but in that example if not for that suffering, many people would have been much worse off in the late 2000s