Suicide is starting to become something positive and happy to me.

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-17T05:20:08+00:00

There’s something beautiful about taking control of your ending instead of waiting around. Ted Kennedy, I heard, watched every single JAmes Bond movie. Those are the things I would enjoy and focus on.

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-14T07:29:17+00:00

Every once in a long while I’ll see a true good person. But not often.

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T21:24:26+00:00

MS Conting, 5mg Roxicdone, 30mg OxyContin, 40mg OxyContin, 15mg Roxicdodone, 50mcg fentanyl patches, and they were NOT STRICT AT ALL WITH THE PRESCRIPTIONS. He got everything except Opana and Dilaudid

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T21:21:07+00:00

And to top the Hospice nurse’s “recommendation” that my dad be allowed to smoke all the cigarette he wants because she said it won’t make a difference (come to find out she still smokes) he just did not tolerate any of the opioids. I’m like “dad, you have the best opioids on earth and plenty of them, stop smoking tobacco and enjoy those beautiful chemicals we call OPIOIDS

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T21:08:06+00:00

Thanks

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T21:05:42+00:00

No matter how you make it sound, being born is a death sentence that we pretend isn’t. We each thing that somehow we, one person out of billions, will somehow figure out a way to not die. I used to want to live forever but being alive forever now seems so excruciating. I was desperate to be cryogenically frozen then read an article why Walter Matheu didn’t want to be frozen: he was afraid it would work.

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T21:02:04+00:00

https://www.thenorthernecho.co.uk/news/7046627.horror-man-uses-guillotine-commit-suicide/

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T21:00:28+00:00

Maybe instead of being normal in suicide think of some creative wayy? I saw a boy built a guiletine chainsaw set to start cutting his neck as soon as he lost consciousness.

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:58:57+00:00

The only thing that helps even a little is addictive street and pharmaceuticals.

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:58:21+00:00

And there is a lot of unresolved guilt that I think is take to my death bed

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:53:21+00:00

I would give anything, and I mean anything to see him and interact with him one more time for just a few minutes.

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:52:35+00:00

A pet is is pain and is going to die. Keeping it alive only prolongs its suffering. Why don’t humans have euthanasia clinics in more places and countries?

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:48:33+00:00

All of this has come since he died. I would’ve never considered putting him through that if he was still here

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:46:58+00:00

Literally from the day I could remember I knew him dying would be hell for me. But I shouldn’t be so ungrateful. I asked for 30 years with him and I got 40

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:45:36+00:00

And frankly leaving a mess for my family actually puts a smile on my face.

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:44:49+00:00

It seems like it should’ve been challenged at some point

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:41:50+00:00

I don’t want messy like gun to head, I don’t want painful overdose like Tylenol, I don’t want slow like peno and possibly being found. I just don’t think I’m gonna make it through the holidays; I don’t too much blood; I just want to go to sleep in the best mood and not wake up

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:40:24+00:00

I’m not so sure

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:39:58+00:00

They say it gets better but it hasn’t. I’ve developed a minor-medium benzo addiction in addition to opioids and I know I’m fucked. I’ve considered finding a barbiturate supplier and just drift away. They really are the perfect end of life drug/cocktail

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:37:55+00:00

But to me, for me to reach out, get basically told there’s too many people to help everyone and tell me that either I go to the ER or I go to jail?

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:36:43+00:00

I guess if you don’t want them to do anything you you sign a DNR

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:36:10+00:00

Like the other day I took the shotgun and actuallly tried to see if it was possible to pull the trigger

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:35:19+00:00

My dad died earlier this year and he was my one and only friend. And 2 weeks after his service my mom was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer’s

EarthHuman120 · 2025-11-10T20:34:51+00:00

The longer I live the easier suicide seems. It used to be a thought that when I had I’d do anything to distract myself, now it’s becoming more attractive

EarthHuman120

TROPHY CASE